Hey guys its my first entry! lol... I am going to type everything and hold back nothing so you cant get an idea of whats going through my mind.

Hey guys its my first entry! lol... I am going to type everything and hold back nothing so you cant get an idea of whats going through my mind.

Well today was ok i guess. It was the same as it always is, but kinda sad toward the end... Well since you dont know what my normal day consistes of i'll just tell ya now... ok, i came into school put my bag in esteys, put my stuff in my locker and then headed over to the "hang out" spot...lol Then i chilled with craver and vanessa and them (most of you know who) and then kept checking to see if corey was coming around the corner... like i always do.. lol (shh) You all should know that i like corey haha, but anyways he didnt talk to me till about 4th period... like usual. First period was ok.. me and willis cheated off eachothers papers for this test thing... and then second period was about the same haha nothing unusal.. lol

and then 3rd... wow i hate 3rd (WP) that joa joa kid like touches my are and BLAH!.. lol then 4th period LE lab, me and same did most of the work and corey and brandon(the fag that he is..lol jkin guys) copied our papers and then u sat with corey in LE.. now guys this is were everything is going to get INTERESTING!..lol i told corey that i had to talk to him about somthing, somthign that has been bigging me for a while...i had to tell him how i really felt so i just kinda did my thing for the rest of the day and he did his. After school came and i had practice and so did he... damn willis wasnt there so i was kind of a loner in softball bc like sam and hilary have eachother and me and amy usual have eachother.. lol (i know what your thinking your sick..lol) see i would hang out with hilary and sam but i mean they are like in there own lil worlds and i just feel like i wouldnt fit in. I dont really fit in with alot of ppl and there "groups" ( you know how that is.. its a sad thing *i'll talk about that in my later enteries) but anyways after practice i usually hook up with corey and we go to our lockers together and make eachother laugh. Well not today. I had to tell him how i felt bc i cant stand hidding things in anymore... so i told him that i liked him and i wanted to know if he liked me.. not to sure if he answered that question but he said that we just broke up and that he wasnt sure how long he was gunna be and that i should just go find someone else.. wow... i didnt know what to say. I was trying so hard to not cry. But the thing that i dont understand is that wehn i told him that i was giving up he was all like "you almost had me"... what the FUCK! i'm sry but AHH... way to make me feel like shit. that just makes me fell like i screwed myself over ya know? Then when i tell him i'll wait for him he's all like no no dont wait for me... Its like he's messing with my mind..maybe i have that right. but like its so confusing and fustrating. He also said that he just wanted to be like best friends... well in the words from smallvill...lol dont ask "I your secret admirer deguised as your best friend" thats exacly how i feel. but idk i've just become so numb to it all latly i cant feel much from all this...I think that i should just save myself and give up...and move on.. but half of me wants to and half of me dosnt want to let go... i guess thats just the hard part.. letting go...o well hmmmm.... if you really think about it i'm just setting myself up to get hurt...i'm stupid to have held on for so long maybe not... but thats just how i feel. well enough of all that sad stuff.. haha Omg my mom came to pick me up after school.. OMG she is a dork.. haha she comes in her car with the windows all open blasting my cd that was in the car (simple plan) lmao and all i hear is BOOM... BOOM BOOM.. (middle age crisis it think)lmao i was laughing my ass off.. it was kinda imbaressing but funny... she trys so hard... i'm gunna have to give her credit for that... haha well i think i'm just gunna write to ya kater i think i wrote a lil too much today.. haha Cya!

Well today went ok i guess, just things are so messed up right now. The whole probelm with corey just seems like nothing anymore bc i have have so much on my plate right now i cant even think about it. My mom was talking about moving to flordia.. again! i was pissed...i cryed! i dont think my mom understands what it would be put me through to move away from all my friends.

My dad also wanted to sell my dirtbike, which i just got and havent even rode. That just ahgg...i have wanted one for 3 years and i finally get it and now my dad wants to get rid of it!? R U KIDDING ME! its like i finally get something i really wanted and wished and worked so hard for just ripped out of my hands and i cant fight back. I mean i love my parents to death but they really have been pissing me off. And like i have been trying so hard to be cool with it and understand their side of veiw bc they're going through alot to about my grandma moving but hey... SO AM I!

My gandma and i were really close. We used to be just down the street so i could just go to her if i needed anything and now she's all the way down south in fl.! i guess the cool thing is i get to visit her anytime i want bc she said she would send me a plan ticket for me for anytime i wanted to come down...but that dosnt make up for all the loses, ya know?

Problem #2352970952475...And this is the most seriouse problem that i could ever have. Like life and death and i dont know what to do. I know somthing i'm not suppose to but i have to say somthing. and its so hard bc i'm afriad of there reaction. This thing that i cant speak of is of one of my best firends. Like i want to help her so bad but i'm afriad that if i say somthing to her she is gunna hurt herself. But what else do i do, ya know? Just sit and watch it happen? But i'm not one of those ppl that do that, i'm more of a person who gets involved... i know i need to do it, but i dont want her to do anything she'll regret or never speak to me again. I think i just needs to be the perfect timing. Idk... i'm confused about it all. I would say what it is but its more personal than anything. I dont think i've ever been more seriouse about this in my life.

Anyways, Were taking up our rug tomarrow.. haha i hate that fricken rug... like i know it sounds pathetic but thats one of the reasons why i dont have my boyfriends over haha!

Well i'm gunna write one more then i'm going to bed... lol

Omg, i had the wost day! This morning wasnt too bad, me and vanessa snuck up on Alan and Chris to see if they were talking about vanessa. We ended up not hearing anything but we such as hell cared the crap out of them...lol Well my bad day all started out with jay being a fricken jerk.. AHH! He drew a mustash and a unabrow on the pic. in coreys locker... that was soo embarressing..i felt hemilated by that bc he knows i like corey and he pulls a stunt like that. I yelled at him and then took the picture, ripped it up and then threw it in his face( i mean i didnt want a picture like that in coreys locker). Then today was just "that time of the month!" and i didnt find out untill 2nd period. Then, 3rd period came... well are assignment was to type this who letter thing and there cant be any misstakes...i had to retype the fricken thing 4 times bc i got one wrong each time i wrote it( i still never finished). lol then gym, gym was ok i guess , i lost my earring(lol),we were playing lacross and sam was my partner as always.....Then 5th period, wow...i was late for 5th period bc my locker wouldnt open, my favortie pen broke, and then my other one got caught in my hair...lol but it all seemed to get better from there (corey told me he taped back together the picture of me and him and put it back in his locker). Well ok... nvm... it dosent get much better..lol Dale was being a dick( like always) I forgot my glove for softball practice and then when i went to get the ball i tripped over myself... (lol that was pretty funny) well thats about it... wait... nope theres a grand finally(<~sp?)

 COREY IS LEAVING FOR FL FOR 2 WEEKS!! i was so bummed.. i gave him a great big hug b4 he left...i'm not so such if i'm gunna call him..lol.. well jkust have to wait and see... he'll prolly be preocuppied with all the ladys int ther bikinis...w/e let him have his fun.

Well i'm gunna go i'll prolly write some more later...cya

~Celeste

Omg, i had the wost day! This morning wasnt too bad, me and vanessa snuck up on Alan and Chris to see if they were talking about vanessa. We ended up not hearing anything but we sure as hell cared the crap out of them...lol Well my bad day all started out with jay being a fricken jerk.. AHH! He drew a mustash and a unabrow on the pic. in coreys locker... that was soo embarressing..i felt hemilated by that bc he knows i like corey and he pulls a stunt like that. I yelled at him and then took the picture, ripped it up and then threw it in his face( i mean i didnt want a picture like that in coreys locker). Then today was just "that time of the month!" and i didnt find out untill 2nd period. Then, 3rd period came... well are assignment was to type this who letter thing and there cant be any misstakes...i had to retype the fricken thing 4 times bc i got one wrong each time i wrote it( i still never finished). lol then gym, gym was ok i guess , i lost my earring(lol),we were playing lacross and sam was my partner as always.....Then 5th period, wow...i was late for 5th period bc my locker wouldnt open, my favortie pen broke, and then my other one got caught in my hair...lol but it all seemed to get better from there (corey told me he taped back together the picture of me and him and put it back in his locker). Well ok... nvm... it dosent get much better..lol Dale was being a dick( like always) I forgot my glove for softball practice and then when i went to get the ball i tripped over myself... (lol that was pretty funny) well thats about it... wait... nope theres a grand finally(<~sp?)

 COREY IS LEAVING FOR FL FOR 2 WEEKS!! i was so bummed.. i gave him a great big hug b4 he

Man i am so bored so i am things just might come out random. Random... what a funny word..i knew a hometown band called Random...willis's brother was in it. Willis.. willis i pretty cool, i have some good convos with her. I wish i had some convos with vanessa. I just dont seem good enough for her. Some times i wounder am i good enough for anything? my legs arnt good enough to wear a skirt. I hate my legs...lol legs are kinda funny they come in all diffrent shaps and sizes. i wish i had skinner legs...like for instace sams legs.... i like her legs...I think she looks really good in skirts and stuff... i think Katie looks really good in skirts too...i always look at them and think... i wish i could wear a skirt and like not even have to be concious of my legs. wow i've really talked alot about legs... i wish my legs were tan...i need a tan... i need some new clothes... i want to go shopping...i wish i could have like the perfect outfites like chantelle... she is so pretty and like has the best outfits... i wounder if she's back together with nick...idk i saw them kissing but hmm... maybe..lol Isnt it wierd how i was first talking about the word Random and not i'm to somthin totaly diffrent?

I Think Tara Parish is really pretty, i think Megan Orbin is really pretty too... i wish i could be really pretty... but dose that really matter...i guess now in life it dose...well my mother needs to use the phone... i'll be on later to write some more.. cya

~Celeste

I know we always just sit around just wishing we had somthin that we dont have now...well thats exactly what i'm doing...lol

~The Perfect guy

well he dosnt nessasarily have to be perfect, thats what makes you love them the most. You learn to love all his imperfections. I just wish i could have a guy that would love me back the same way i love him. Like show how much he cares. Like i dont think guys even know how much just the littlest things can make us happy. Guys are always like... oo women are so hard to please, thats not true... you guys just make it hard for yourselves. lol its so true though. I think some guys are really good at heart and are better then they are infront of ppl, they just have to keep there "dignity", ya know what i mean. Maybe thats it..haha idk.. men are hard to figure out.. there so closed.. unlike us women.. were open to almost about anything. You ask... we'll share, you just have to approch the right way...lol dont be some freaky stalker. But anyways.. like i just want a guy to just hold me and hug me and tell me good things about me.. i know that makes me sound like some kinda bitch or w/e but like i like to be loved and stuff.. i mean i'm not like that kinda person who gose and brags about myself or anything, its just good to know that some one out there thinks of you in that way. I love to cuddle... lol i want to cuddle with that specail some one so bad... hmm... its gunna be a while.. haha... i dont even know what i'm gunna do with my relationships anymore.. i guess just be coreys "best friend" and see if anything comes from tehre.. i just kinda wish i knew how he felt about me.. i'm hoping its the sam way i mean he acts like he likes me, but blah.. mixed signals..i just wish sometomes that i could just hold on to him really really tight and never have to let go... lol sounds weird, but thats all i want. I miss having him as a boyfriend, I NEED SOME LOVE!!  (sad face)... well i'm gunna go i need to get some sleep i have a softball game tomarrow... wish me luck!!!..lol

~Celeste

Hey, its spring break.. YES haha.. i'm so excited, NO SCHOOL! Man so far its been going pretty good. Me and Kiki went to Vanessa's house the other day after school. We are the V.I.X.E.N.S.! lol... inside joke. (leaky Fauset) lol we had a good time. We got a lil tan but not much, we still have all spring break! haha oo and i'm going to FL in MAY!! so i'm not going to worrie much...lol I'm so hipper! i think i have spring fever....lol... After we went to Vanessa's we stayed over at Kiki's. We hung out with her sister and waited till Andrew (her Boyfriend) got there...We were gunna stay up but we fell asleep..lol we helped meghan clean her room (well watched) and drank a lil...lol (taste testing i swear).

Well i'm gunna go its sooo nice outside and i'm home alone until 6 so i think i might go for a walk to maybe to captin bill's or clute park... maybe both..lol well i'll write later... cya

Hey, today was pretty good. I can actually say... i had a good day. Today i woke up about 9 30 and then got dressed to go fishing with my dad and my brothers. Omg i suck so bad...lol but i thought it was so funny... i got a kick out of myself. All i caught the whole time was seaweed... i was crackin jokes like telling them that i'm catching some salad and they can catch the fish... man...it was a good ol' time i tell ya..lol i got a lil burnt... but i didnt hate it...lol after fishing me an my bros decided we would show my dad thanks and wash his truck...lol that was kinda fun... we were singing and splashing eachother...lol then we came inside and hung out for a while... then for the rest of the day me and my bro. (steven) played basketball. I was doing it just to get some sun... haha..I was in my bathing suit... omg this guy walked by and was like staring at me.. lmao... then he came back and brought a friend... hahaha i was like omg... haha it was so funny bc the guy was like "see" haha... wow... ppl i tell ya.. i didnt think playing b-ball in my bathing suit was that big of a deal. Then me and my bros did some Polites(<~sp?) lol that was interesting....Well anyways, today was a pretty good day... i got some sun and spent some time with my family. hmm... then tomarrow i have to get up early at like 6 30 and head over to vanessa's for "Big run"... yeah were gunna run like 10 miles.. from her house to mine.. lol well i'll update you later.. cya

~Celeste 

I think i might go out and play some b-ball with Vanessa and Kiki... we are the.....V.I.X.E.N.S.!!! haha..you gotta love it

~Celeste

Okay, today was the "Big Run"....lol it was so crazy... i still cant believe that we ran that far... OMG... haha it wasnt 10 miles... i measured it and it came to 6...lol but man.. that was the longest i've ever ran in my life. I was so proud of myself though... lol  Well i woke up at like 6 45 and then headed over to vanessa's. When i got there i let her dogs out and then woke her up...lol I'm sure she was glad that i was the first thing to see in the moring.. haha past the fact that i looked like crap... (she wants me...lol) Then after she was up we planted like 25 trees... man.. that was some good stuff.. i would def. say we make a good team... i mean of course we do .. were the V.I.X.E.N.S.! ooooook... anyways... we had a good ol' time running.. haha i almost tripped like 5 times...lol but i was on a roll... vanessa had to keep telling me to slow down... I'M A SPEED DEMON!! I seriously cant get over it... and we only stopped once.. and it was a pretty good reason to stop..haha one of the hottest guys stopped and asked if we wanted a ride..(Deven) i think he likes vanessa...lol most likly.

Later....Me and Vanessa came to my house and chilled... Then we decided, hey lets go tan on the roof... lol All of a sudden we hear this voice.. lol and there was kiki... haha it kinda scared me but i didnt want to pull a "leaky faucet" so i tryed to stay calm....lol and if you know kiki.. kiki's kinda feaky...lol jkin... well we all chilled.... The V.I.X.E.N.S., the Three Amigos, Harry, Curly and Moe. lol Then we hit up Mckenzie and chilled with her....then we became "Eeny, meeny,miny and moe." (yeah vanessa i think thats right) yes... and i found out my punk rocker name... The Freaky Toilet Paper Roll...lol Vanessa's The Happy Thumb Tac's... McKenzie's The Optomistic Spork and Kiki... The Grumpy Stapler... ROCK ON! ok anyways, it was fun i had a pretty good time.. it was so nice out too...tomarrow its not gunna be as nice. (sad face)  We went to the movies too.."Guess Who" that was such a good movie... you should def. see it. White guys crack me up.. haha Well i'm gunna stop writting bc its like i'm rambling on.. my day just went so good that i cant out it into words... KIKI I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU LIKE! DAMN IT!

~Celeste

Its so nice out side... YES! I just thought i should let you know....

~Celeste

I was thinking.. what if we were invaded by aliens?? I mean seriously.. take this into deep thought...how would you react?

Today wasnt the best, but it was ok... i ended up cleaning all day... BLAH! My legs kinda hurt from our run... not that bad but they still hurt. I want to do somthing really bad... i'm not in the mood to be alone...hmmm...BANANAS this shhh is BANANAS B-A-N-A-N-A-S... lol sry ADD... it happens..I wish that i could just see corey to find out if i really am over him. like its easier to when he's not around me, but i want to see the progress i made.. lol prolly not much.. but i mean this isnt as easy as it seems... i just need to talk to him first. he wont be home for another week or so ( did i mentioned he emailed me...lol)... anyways... in a way i want to say i like some other ppl but then again i dont want to bc i feel like it would just cause problems and things are going good right now i dont want to screw anything up...yet...lol Don't you just hate it when like everything is going good and then theres this long ass thing of drama? OMG i hate it... i know it happens but it just makes me mad bc it messes everything up. Some ppl in our school just cause drama on purpose. Its so stupid... just so they can have somthing to talk about... anyways... i dont want to get to much into this bc i might get in a bad mood... lol

Me Vanessa and Kiki have a dance... its really good so far...lol we think we might do it for the talent show...i'm kinda scared bc i suck.. lol o well i've imbarressed myself many of times... i dont think anything could top half the things i've done b4...lol well i'm gunna go....cya

~Celeste

Romeo: She speaks.

O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art

As glorious to this night, being o'er my head,

As is a winged messenger of heacen

Unto the white-upturned wond'ring eyes

Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him

When he bestrides the lazy puffing clouds

And sails upon the bosom of the air.

Juliet: O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefor art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name;

Or, if thou wit nor, be but sworn my loce, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

Romeo: Shall I hear more, or shall i speak at this?

Juliet: 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy.

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's a Montague? It is nor hang, nor foot,

Nor arm, nor Face. O, be some other name

Belonging to a man.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose

by any other word would smell as sweet.

So Romeo would, were he nor Romeo called,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name;

And for thy name, which is no part of thee,

Take all myself.

I have to remeber all of that .. blah.. wish me luck!

~Celeste

Sometimes do you ever feel unwanted? Or like you dont really matter and like realize that you dont really have alot of friends? Like you do but not as much as some ppl. Like i know its bad to compare, but like i really have put alot of thought into it. Like i love the friends i have, but i mean its always better to have more of a variety. Like idk i just wish i was better then i am... omg i've said like, like so many times.. lmao... wow...Anyways, i just wish i could be better then i am, i want to change my appearence and be a better person and stuff,like i know i can change myself but its weird... like when i'm doing somthing, i catch myself and i'm like... Celeste what the heck are you doing...idk.. its hard to explain....exspecaily when you have ADD and then have to read it again to remember what you were talking about.. lol its taken me about an hour to write this..lol...

~Celeste  

Have you ever cryed so hard that you forgot to breath?.....

I'm not in any sad mood or anything its just one of those things that came to me... But now that i think about it.. i have done that b4...Its like all your consitration was hooked on what you were crying about. I've cryed many times... like a major cry. Its so crazy how certian things make you cry so hard. Some times its good to have like a big cry instead of just holding it in... but theres others when you dont...like somtimes its a sign of weakness. It depends on your time and place... or the way you see things...Like i know its sounds wierd but i enjoy crying sometimes.. it makes me feel alot better....lol idk even know why i'm talking abotu crying.. i'm in a good mood.. lol but i was thinking about how my frineds hurt my feelings.. like i know that they were just joking around and stuff but saying it constantly really hurt my feelings...i kinda felt like crap the things they were saying to me. Like idk... i just didnt want to say anything though.. i kinda just wanted to cry but i'm really hard on myself.. like i dont think that anyone understands how hard i am on myself and then having ppl that mean alot to me tell me that i suck at singing or w/e i mean i just was imbarressed and felt like a loser. Like they didnt say it like that but thats what they were getting too.. and other things they would say... and like they kinda ganged up on me.. not even realizing it and kept putting me down.. its like getting smaked in the face... even if its an acsident it still hurts and pisses you off...well i'm gunna go i'll prolly just write another blog with a diffrent subject...lol cya

~Celeste

OMG i'm so happy right now lol i dont know why, i cant stop smiling...lol Wow... maybe its the person i'm talking to..lol its so wierd

~Celeste

Wow... still in that good mood.... lol. I've been talking to Cody lacomby (Spelling?) but i think he might like me... aww he was so sweet... we were talking forever...but it only seemed like for a lil... i think i might really start to like him... i kept smiling..lol i really liked talking to him... he put me in a really good mood..i seriously couldnt stop smiling...i loved it...lol like omg you should hear some of the things he said like he was asking me about myself and stuff and we are starting to get to know eachother... ok here are some....

Cody: well i like girls that are out going cuz i am  i love rideing i have been ridin for 13 years i like to work with my hands i like to lisein  to ppl just ask katie and i love my dog and i would love to get to now you a lot better

Cody: my uncle said when i got it youll never need a women (he's talking about a dirt bike)
Me: haha
Cody: hes been right so far
Me: lol...
Me: hmm...
Me: so far?
Cody: as in since i got it i have not needed a girl friend
Me: lol
Me: i got that
cody: but i think its werein off
me: o really?
Cody: ya

Cody: i am so sleepy
Me: then go to bed
Me: lol
Cody: but then i cant talk to you
Me: thats true
Me: you really want to talk to me that bad
Me: ??
Cody: ya its better than sleeping
Me: awww.. thanks
Me: you just made me smile
Me: i needed that
Cody: well i wish i could of seen it

lol... i think he MIGHT like me... lol what do you think....?

Anrt those so sweet!?? i havent had a guy say anything like that to me in a long time... wow...lol...well we'll just have to get to know eachother a lil better and we'll just have to see what gose on from there....

JASON... THIS IS YOUR SHOUT OUT... YOUR SO AWESOME!!!..lol

~Celeste

Well today was kind of a pissy day... My brother is SOOOO annyoing... omg... i cant stand him... and he has his friend spending the night. I swear to god, somthing bad is gunna go down in this house if he keeps it up... lol I'm just kiddin i wouldnt do anything to him.. but i sure wish i could... He trys to act so cool infront of his friend... AHHH! Sry... anyways... lets change the subject.. lol

I was thinking...you know the baseball feilds for the pros? Well like whoever mowes them prolly gets paid like so much money. I mean isnt the field mowed a certain way? Like... i was thinking.. how do they mow it and stuff.. like i know it sounds pretty gay, like who would care about who mowes the baseball feild, but it really got me thinking...lol anyways... haha well i'm gunna go...

~Celeste

Wow, cody read what i said.. lol i didnt think he would ever read it... now i feel like a big fag...lol The things i siad were so corny... lol o well, i guess i'm just gunna have to deal... lol He's so sweet though... man, i'm kinda scared though... i mean what if this crashes in my face like everything else dose? I am known to screw up alot of good things.. lol i think i just worrie too much sometimes..lol but thats me... o well what can ya do...

Hum.. somtimes i wounder... who am i? like what kind of person? I'm sure to like every person i'm some one totaly diffrent.. like i wounder how other ppl see me.. hmm...i guess i'll never know... Maybe you can leave a comment and tell me how you see me.. what kind of person you think i am...i hope i'm not a bad person. Like i'm sure theres ppl out there who really dont like me, for some reason or another...i hope not though.. i dont think i didnt do anything to make them dislike me...hmm..

I was reading some ones mindsay thing and i was thinking...i wish i was so much more then i am now...i know i cant change who i am but i sure wish i could... i just dont seem good enough. Its like i try so hard and i am no where near my goal...In a way i dont think i should care bc like i know it sounds wierd but i dont think i even know who i am... like when ppl tell me that i'm not actingmyself... well if i'm not acting myself then who am i acting like and what do i act like... like.. idk... its wierd... somthin else that relates to that is like..i feel like i've been trying too hard to be someone that i'm not that i dont even know who i am... maybe thats why i've changed or "dont act myself"... hmm..i guess i get so lost in  trying to be that someone i want to be, when maybe i am what i want to be already... lol wow i'm confusing myself.. normally this happens.. lol like when i used to write in my journals when i had problems i would write and write until i figured it out myself... lol wierd huh?

Wow, i was just talking to jason and we were talking about how i'm a loner.. lol and he said that i make myself that way... and he's so right.. i could be hanging out with like a big group of ppl if i wanted to, but its funny how i chose not to... like i want to but.. it just dosnt happen...lol.. weird... i guess thats just who i am... i wouldnt mind hanging out with a few ppl right now too..lol well i'm gunna go its getting late... Jason.. this is your shout out again bc you werent satisfied..lol but you have been good to talk to so i'll give ya this shout out... JASON YOUR THE BOOM DIGITY... there.. now you cant complain... sry codys shout out is better then yours...lol

~Celeste 

man, today has been such a lonly... tiering ... lazy day... i want to do something out of the blue... i'm just waiting for somthing crazy to happen... lol did i mention my brothers bikes got stolen? lol i think its kinda funny... seriously who would want to steal a lil kids bike... i mean come on what is this world coming to... stupid fags...lol wow... anyways... its the last day of spring break and nothin is happening... WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO!..lol anyways... i'm gunna go and do somthing... i'll write later

~Celeste

Today was pretty good...lol for some reason i was nerves the entire time... haha... i had butterflys..lol dont know why..I had to do that romeo and juliet thing and i think i did pretty good... lol i went first so i could get it done and over with...i tryed to get all into it... but i was so nerves i was afriad that if i moved from where i was standing then i would shake like... so bad...lol but later into it i got into it.....lol... After school i had a game... it was to awsome! WE WON!!! yeah, lol its like the 2nd game we won out of like 5, but that is pretty good when half the team has never played b4. Willis did so good... i was so jealious... lol and my sammy sosa... and of course hillary!... lol i was so proud!...lol i got a double out! yes i was soooo  happy!! o and i hit the ball pretty damn far...omg the game was so intense though... like first innning it was 0 to 3 then they got nothin from there...lol...ended 5 to 3...the pitcher last game hit our pitcher(steph) and she hit her again this game... so steph got so pissed... i mean i would to that girl was fricken laughing at her...so steph pitched a ball and hit her... haha i wanted to laugh so bad..lol but i didnt... ooo lol omg the funniest thing happened too...lol i went to slide into 2nd... haha me slide(funny sight) and like i didnt slide right and my head went right into the girls stomach.. lol all i hear is AHHHGG... lol...oops...lol it was some dirty play... but i didnt mean to do it.. haha o well... i guess i could say today was a pretty good day..yepp... lol

~Celeste

#11 (double 1 baby)

DirtyGerman004: my hands tast like dandy lions
NYChica1379: lol haha awe....yay!
DirtyGerman004: thats not a good thing
NYChica1379: lol oh...well then nvm

^lol... what a dork...i love her though

So today was pretty good.. lol started off good too.. lol This morning i went to set my bags down at esteys then took my bags to my locker and then went to hang out with cody...lol We talked about nothin really important but i still had a good convo with him... i told him about my whole softball game.. again.. lol i didnt know that i already had until he told me.. i felt like a fag... all i could think is wow celeste do yourself a favor and stop talking.. lol well anyways that was like the highlight of my day.. lol i'm kinda really starting to feel like i fit in...lol i dont hate it... like idk i guess i'm more open now...hmmm... today went by really fast too.. holy crap...i had softball practice and then i waited until like 5 for my mom...while i was waiting and being soooo increditably bored i picked some flowers for willis.. ok they were weeds.. same dif... then i was like hey.. .i'm crafty and have so much time on my hands.. i think i'll make a flower/weed crown... lol so i did... i did a pretty good job..lol took some pics of myself ( i have a self-picture-taking issue). i was gunna put it on here but it wont let me!lol... well i'm gunna go HOUSE IS ON!!! love that show!

~Celeste

OMG... I had the worst fricken day... AHHHHH, i'm so mad and fusterated and i want to cry. WHY ME!?? Ok, well it started out ok besides i was not as early as i usually am whiched caused me to be behind schedual a lil.. lol and then today we had a test 1st and secound period... i def failed that one... i suck at vocab. Anyways, then around 4th period i had a like blister type thing on my foot.. eww... i know.. lol like it took off the skin after rubbing up against my toe and then 5th period i stepped on my toe(same foot) with my heels lol how... i have no idea... lol its me i mean, what do you expect? Then the next 3 periods were fine.. lol then we had our softball game... i dont even want to go there... i guess you could say i had an off night..grrr omg.. sry if i swear.. just so  ya know in advance..lol But it was fucking bull shit AHH... ok as soon as the game started i didnt want to play i knew it was gunna be a sucky game.. I KNEW IT!! Ok wait.. hold up i forgot to mention what happened B4 the game.. lol ok well we took infeild and so i went to run up on the ball and it skipped and jumped up and hit me right in the throat.. omg it hurt so bad.. but i didnt cry i was proud of myself that i didnt..lol and then we did some soft tossing.. some one chucked the ball at my fricken leg...like i know it was an acsident but that fucking hurt like hell.. i think its gunna leave a welt... the i got hit with another.. O and then when i went into the bathroom b4 the game started... (had to use the porter pottys...eww...lol) and like jesse and them started rocking it... omg... lol hey they had a mirror in them too isnt that crazy? next thing you know there gunna have sinks... haha anways... the game started... and the first hit was made so i went to get the grounder..and i was afriad of the ball... omg i cant believe myself like instead of like watching it go into my glove i kinda pulled my head back... RETARD... and then i went to throw it and i didnt have alot of time to place my feet and like overthrew it... AHHH then that happened a secound time.. i was like are you KIDDING ME! GOD DAMN! i was really feeling the love tonight.. and the the next hit comes to me and i throw it too low this time.. ahhh i seriously so hard on myself i dont think anyone understands how hard i am on myself... i was kinda brought up that way. Then when it was time for our turn to hit... i got hit! WHAT THE HELL... GOD HATES ME! i swear! And then the rest of the game was kinda good but they hit some good ones.. i missed some balls which really ticked me off i wanted to scream...but i kept it cool.. ya know did the whole "breathing" tecnique...lol i prolly looked like a faget... haha...i dont know why i laughted to that.. it wasnt funny, but anyways... the rest of the game sucked so bad.. i was so mad and.. thank god i have lil bros to come home to and pick on, jkin! O just so ya know... if you havent already guessed.. we lost.. like 3-18? somthing like that... the mercy rule.. yeah...can you believe that? AHH... damnit i know youcant win them all but it soo ended bad...i had 2 fouls so that equaled to strickes and like 2 balls and then she threw a fricken ball that was like all the way on the other side of the plate and then i hear ... "STRIKE"... WHAT THE HELL?? then when one of our ppl slid home ... so safe.. they called her out... i think that the refes just wanted to go home.. damn jerks.... ooo to add to this i come home right? already pissed off  bc we lost and i sucked ass... and then i started to remeber that my dad was gunna take me riding... Yeah well that didnt work out... its like its never gunna happen... i swear... i'm just not gunna get my hopes up anymore bc its like everytime my dad tells me we are, then we end up not.. he said that we will all day sat. but i have plans.. not until late... so i'll get to ride.. not gunng get my hopes up though... nothing ever seems to go good for me.. everything expect  cody... he made my day better.. lol i got to see him more today..lol yeah i guess corey found out and was mad that i didnt tell him bc were suppose to be "best firends" and i was mad at him for not telling me about the girl he is like 'with". so lol o well but i was so happy to joke around with cody today.. "east coast".. lol in a way i'm afriad to like him because i dont want to get hurt.. like i've been really hurt and i dont know if i can put myself threw it again.. i've been like hurt really bad like twice...i just cant seem to do it anymore.. ya know... like i said earlier i'm really hard on myself and so if somthing gose wrong i blame myself and i ended up thinking something is wrong with me.. and it just really gets me down... i'm just really scared bc i...............................................................i just..............idk anymore. well i'm gunna go and scream in my pillow... i'll talk to you later maybe or write... w/e...lol

~Celeste

OMG... i forgot to add some stuff... lol I GREW A WHOLE INCH!!!... I'm 5'2 and 1/8th isnt that ficken awesome? I'm so happy! ok well thats about all the excitment i got.. lol

~Celeste

hmm... theres like so many things to say, and so many words that are gunna be left unsaid. I feel so caught up in the middle of everything. Its like all these hands are reaching to grab me and are tuggin me in all different directions. I feel lost and unable to speak. So many thoughts passing me by that i dont have time to grab just one and hold on to it to resolve it.  Time is the problem... everything is about timing. I dont have time to do anything or make anything better. I try to get it out of my head and be the person that i am... i'm normaly really hiper and energetic. I want to be that again... happy and full or energy. hmmm but what can i do? i'm useless.. its useless. Its like everytime i think i'm there i get shot down again and have to work my way back up time after time. God i cant wait till i go to florida....i need a break away from this...fustration, misplacementd....

Anyways, change of subject... we won our games... 2 wins in one day...lol YES! i was so happy... i sucked so bad... ok maybe not sucked but omg i missed 3 fricken balls... and they were grounders... man... i was like.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! but then the rest of the time i did ok... lol i caught a few pop flys.. haha 2 of them were amazing catches.. i was so proud of myself... YES!.. haha... the first one was in the 2nd game like 2nd to last inning... it was all the way on like the other side of the feild toward 2nd... (i play short) and i knew she wasnt gunna catch it so i jumped in and caught it.. haha then the last good catch was freakishly amazing.. lol i still cant believe i caught it... it was the winning catch.. HELLS YES.. lol sry... getting to cocky.. lol but damn... it was out by the bleachers behind 3rd and i ran so hard and jumped up and caught it.. lol i cant even remeber what i was thinking then.. lol i was zooned out... haha i was soo happy... then after the game i chaced after cody to tell him thanks bc he actually came to my game.. lol and then i gave him a hug... lol well thats about were my day ends... i have a really bad head ech that hasnt gone away since like saterday my mom thinks it might be somthing but i'm sure its nothin... if it still hurts by sunday then she's talking me to prymary care(spelling?)...well cya

~Celeste

My dad is thinking on moving!.... I DONT WANNA MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Celeste

Hum... today was pretty interesting... lets see i went to my lil cuz's birthday party... lol that was crazy...this lil kid was sooo high on life i'm not even kidding! Then i came home and talked online. I talked to corey and were cool now... just friends. I'm so glad bc i didnt want to lose him, he's a really good freind. Then i went to cravers soccer game... we won 1-7 lol After the game we headed over to Krista's house and playes spoons... i did pretty damn good in the begining.. then i started to suck.. lol everyone loved the brownies i made... lol well thats all that really happened today, it was better then it sounded... i'm just really bummed right now bc i have so much to say but i just cant... i have to keep it all inside bc i dont want anyone to know. This is so hard for me.  i'm confused and fusterated... AHHH this really sucks ass! you have no idea. its tearing me apart... i need to get it out sooner or later

~Celeste

hmm... today was... ok.. lol i had a very happy fun interesting day.. lol everything was just like there and i was just being a fag (bc thats me!)...lol We had a game today and found out that the pitcher had tendenitus (<~spelling?) and i had to pitch.. omg .. lol i hate to be the center of attention, but it really wasnt that bad... i def. wasnt the greatest... i want to play short soo bad! but theres no one else that can really pitch. I might have to finish the season...eeekkk! lol i struck 2 ppl out so i was kinda happy. Omg craver dropped me on my fricken head.. lol it hurt soo bad she was like bending me backwards and then dropped me and my head hit first...lol but i'm all good i mean its not like it can really do anymore damage...lol  Well anyways... everythin has been going pretty good for me. I wish it could always be this good... the only bad thing about my day was when Dale and James took my note that i ripped up in the garbage and taped it back together... omg i was sooo pissed and like i said somthing so personal on it it was out 3 ppl and they gave it to sam (it involved her) and when they did i snatched it out of her hand... i dont care if that was mean.. i mean i promised i would keep it a secret and i always keep my promises... somthings are just better left unknown anyways... hopefully she will understand... i was just being a loyal friend... anyways... lol i think i'm really gettin over corey which makes me so happy like when i told him that like i felt all this tention go away.. i'm seriously so happy for corey i really am i'm i'm happy for myself bc i'm moving on... this is so neat!...lol Like i'm starting to like cody but i dont want to rush into anything too fast...i think we should hang out more and then i think i would be more comfortable with the idea. Well that about wraps everything up... o i'm going to fl in 11 days!!! HELLS YA!....Cant wait!

~Celeste

MAN!!!!!!! ahhh... i'm sooo flustered! i mean i know i act as everything is ok but its just not... i want school to be my happy place.. lol  but yeah things arnt really going my way at home...I have taken the role as mom at home and i dont want to be i'm 15 i'm still a fricken kid! Now that my mom isnt coming home early anymore (comes home about 9 now).  Its just hard bc i'm close with my mom... and i miss her! I feel so caught up in so much stuff... My parents thinking on moving and this and softball now that i'm the fricken pitcher which really makes me mad bc i dont want to pitch bc i know i could be soo much better somewhere else! AHH! i just feel like things are falling apart and i'm just putting on a happy face and hoping everything is just gunna get better...MMAHH!!.. and some ppl are just really gettin on my nerves i'm really not gunna say any names but holy fricken shit!.. i'm sry but ppl need to open there eyes and see what there doing and how they are acting... god! but w/e they do what they want to its cool let they will find out eventually and its not gunna be pretty. Well i'm gunna go.. i so mad and blah!... i'm just so flustered i want to cry... i'm so close to but i'm holding the tears back

~Celeste

I'm soo mad right now... i had a good day and a good game and stuff but like omg... ok we won like 24-7 the first game... i pitched the first 2 innings... leaving up 11-7... then steph started pitching.. lol man, coach was like steph take pitcher celeste... take short... i was like FUCK YA!..lol we were both like yes!.. lol it was soo funny everyone was laughing...i felt so free.. lol when i was pitching i felt so restricted...well sry i'll finish later my dad is being an ass and could care less about me and wants me to get off... cya...

~Celeste

Wow.. i didnt get to finish last night but last night sucked... when i got home i just sat up in my room and cryed. I feel like whatever i do is just not good enough! All i ever wanted was for my dad to be proud, but i guess thats never gunna happen...Anyways, today was ok i guess lol we had the renaissance festival thinger... lol fun fun. I really think i'm starting to like cody... like idk i guess the reason why nothing really has happened is bc i'm just waiting for somthign to go wrong... there has to be somthing wrong. Idk...i really dont want to get hurt and it would just suck ass for somthing to happen... blah... i've been so busy latly... but i dont hate it...lol i like not sitting around and being bored. I really want to go hang out with cody b4 i leave. Just me and him hangin out watching a scary movie which will prolly scare the shit out of me so bad that i will prolly piss my pants.. lol i get scared so easily...lol well i'm gunna go.. 8 more days till i go to fl... YES! that makes tomarrow 7!...lol well i'm gunna go... the oc was the bes! cya

~Celeste 

well today has just started so i'm not such how its gunna turn out... lol but its pretty good... its nice out and i'm trying to get my tan on!... lol i'm not too wierd if i dont get one bc i will be leaving for fl in 6 days!!!... HELLS YES!... you dont know how bad i need this break... alot of other need it too... i really wish vanessa could come with me but she can't which sucks :-( Well yesterday was our last home game... double header. wow did we have a come back the second game... the first one we lost 16-0..and then we played to same ppl again and lost only 1-2... and they were like the best of the best... no joke... there pitcher was fricken amazing! i hit off her though.. lol oo and i caught this amazing catch.. again... lol my mom said i like jumped 2 feet off the ground!...lol thats pretty good for being 5' 2"...lol Cody came and so did Corey.. but i had to bribe corey..lol i guess i owe him like 7 brownies.. there gunna be small too.. lmao... haha yeah but cody is better bc i didnt need to bribe him.. lol I hope he's coming to my OM game! were soo gunna kick ass! no joke!lol I felt so bad at the game bc corey and cody were sitting next to eachother and when my bros came they were talking to corey and sat next to him and stuff.. lol My bros are such fags though...lol but i love them... OMG...my didnt sell my bike.. but he still hasnt finished putting it together so i was gunna ride the 65 since by other brother can't bc he broke his leg and zach is... well...how do i put this in a nice way.. he's just not capable for somthin so fast...lol but i guess my dad's friend is comeing and is gunna bring his bike so i can ride it... isnt that SWEET!... i'm so excited... YES! wow... maybe i shouldnt get soo exsited.. its polly gunna rain or somthign... somthing has to go wrong! i swear.. but w/e i'll get over it... maybe. I was just thinking... cody and his crew were suppose to go tomarrow too so maybe i'll see them there... unless Jim (the owner) dosnt allow them... bc he sponsors my bro so thats why we get to race...its not open for practice yet.. but he's a nice guy i'm sure he'll let them. I'm kinda pissed.. i was talking to amy and stuff and she was like ya me and sam wanted to go up to codys like sneak up there and hang out.. i was thinking.. YOU DONT EVEN FRICKEN TALK TO THEM!... YOU DONT KNOW THEM!! what the hell.. it just pisses me off... but i'm over it..lol i get over things pretty quickly...lol thats the good part of ADD...lol Man the whole idea of moving really got to me...like i guess it just made me relizes how important some ppl are to me... like i would cry for like a year... prolly more... ok i'm over exagerating but still like everyday now i tell vanessa that i lover her soo much and that i dont know what i would do without her... i mean vanessa has been my best firned since 6th grade! We do everything together and tell eachother everything.. and like even if we were to grow apart like our fazes that we have we always  know that the other one is there to back the other one up... And it just means so much to me...i think she might be the only person i feel this way about bc in the past year everyone has changed... ppl have become either sluts, done crazy shit that i dont even want to talk about or think there better then everyone and exclude ppl that arnt "cool enough".... but w/e once again i'm over it... as long as i have my vinnie.. and kiki.. i love kiki too, she has done nothing of what i have just named... oo and margie she's some one i can trust with my life... were just not as close...but yea... anways.. lol i'm gunna go and tan... i'm so white so.. lol i'll write more later bc its not even noon and there is gunna be more to say..lol

~Celeste

oooook... i just finished the first part of reading the book called "A Tale Of Two Cities" its ok... but kinda hard to understand. I still have to write the rest of my essay and wrtie two book reports... wish me luck... lol i'm gunna get this all done today!... its my mission!...lol

When your bored you become destructive.. lol its sad but true half the time you dont know what your doing until its done.. lol yep... thats meeee!...lol ok i'm gunna get back to my homework..lol i'll update later..

~Celeste

wow..i've really have been in this weird mood for the past week.. like dont get me wrong.. i dont hate it... but its just so... i love it!...lol i feel like theres nothing holdning me back from anything and that i have total controll over whatever i do... i feel powerful...kinda like the great god Zues!...lol juuuuust kidding...but idk... some wierd feeling.. like change i like change but man... its just wow... crazy shiot! (ha i didnt swear!) anyways, i feel like i can handle just about anything right now...i feel stonge... like not physicaly.. but mentaly too...

I ran the mile the other day! i beat my score from last year i got 7 mins. and 28 secs. i could have done better though... i could have sprinted the last lap... i like got nothin out of it...lol it wierd bc i dont really run... hmm.. maybe i should do track next year......nahhhhh! Well i'm gunna go get back to the essay... blah! i should be done soon so...yeah...ok cya

~Celeste

*i'm really in the mood for ice cream!*

*man i just noticed how gay i am with all my fricken lol's...wow..haha that will be my new goal.. not as many lol's

ok... i'm breaking my goal... i've worked my ass off today... i need a break! I have my essay pretty much put together... i'll prolly end up finishing it tomarrow... i can do things better under pressure.. i'm gunna finish my book reports later today at like 9 or 10...lol well do at lest one...but what do you care right?...lol anyways, i'm kinda excited about tomarrow i get to go riding and my mom is gunna come watch!...its mothers day tomarrow so i think i'm gunna make her a poem... hmm... what to put...

Wow, i'm extremly bored... i really need to talk to vanessa and i was hoping cody would get on so i could talk to him, but its just not turning out that way. o well its all good... i got pretty tan today not like extremly tan but tanner then i was...like toned... i cant wait to fl!... MAN O MAN! its gunna be a blast... my g-ma might take to to disney world!...lol i know its for little kids but hey, screw what all ya'll say i cant wait to see mickey!..lol juuuuuuust kidding! but i really do want to go like on all the rides that i couldnt go on when i was little...omg.. i for got to say well i have scoliocose(spelling?) its like the curve of the spine and like its gotten really bad my moms gunna take me to the docs. she said i might have to wear a brace or do exersices or i might have to get surgery!!! i dont want fricken surgery! WHY!!! my dad's all like yeah, you'll this scar all on your back and i'll have to wear a cast type thing for like a year!.. imagin that!! i dont want to do that... so since then i've been like very cautious with how my posture is...lol well thats enought of rambling on for now.. maybe i'll ramble somemore later

~Celeste 

Well, i'm procrasinating... as long as i'm aware i'm doing it i'm fine.. i finished my essay i just have to type it and fill out the thinger for the book report, but... w/e i'll do it tomarrow.. maybe... lol i had a really good day it was crazy... i went riding at motorx with my family and rode for my first time... just my luck... cody was there.. lol yeah and i got all like nerves and stuff and i crashed.. haha yeah it was sooo embarressing... i feel pretty hard too.. like all i had on was a helmet so when i crashed i didnt have much to protect me... I fell like head first too with the bike like i gased it to much did a pop wheelie then instead of grabing the cluch to slow down i grabed the throttle and gassed it more and feel like ontop of it... well it feel on me too sorta...i hit my head on the handle bars and my arm as well... the brim of my nose hurt soo bad but its fun now... i think i have a brus on my harm from that like that one hurts like a mo fo! It's like a bump on my bone!... ahhhh but w/e i'm over it... as soon as ai crashed i was like SHIOT!! got up bc my mom was flipping out.. lol and threw up my hands and was like I'M OK!!...lol i was kinda laughing about it... then the secound time i got on it... i was dooing soo good! Like its soo hard..i have just got total respect for the riders now... the gears just mess me all up! i get soo confused!..lol but anyways... i got to see cody ride.. he was pretty good...i guess i kinda destracted him though..lol at lest thats what he said..lol well he made me wreck!!..lol jkin... i was all shaking too it was crazy stuff! Cody is sooo hott.. expecaily in his motorcross stuff.. haha ahhh.... i have just become soo speechless...O and yes... me and cody are gunna hang out at his house... well cabin and watch saw with some popcorn.. lol he said it will be our "first date"...YAY!!! wow i'm so happy and excited everything is gooing soo good!.. YAY!... and like my family is getting along and i'm just soo  happy and anxiouse and excited and feeling kinda crazy!.but hey... i'm celeste i'm always feeling crazy!...lol oook well i'm gunna go b4 i make a fag out of myself and ramble on about cody..lol not like thats a bad thing ;)

~Celeste

wow.. i'm feeling really fusterated right now...like i want to be friends with corey but he's soo fricken stubborn and takes crap soo seriously.. but w/e i'm over it... i have other things to look toward...like friday!!! i get to hang out with cody!! YAY!... i'm sooo excited... lol its gunna be sooo much fun! 4 more days till florida... and i'll be sure to update bc my grandma had a computer so i'll be able to come on here and do my thing... lol i'm really hoping it dosnt suck... lol I think i'm really starting to like cody.. like he's soo... is just more than i could ask for.. but its too good to be true... lol so i'm just gunna hold on to it for a while and see if i'm missing anything, bc we learned in ela that love is blind... meaning that when you fall inlove you miss all the bad things.. but later into the relationship that block fades away and you can see more clearly... i dont want anything to fade away but i'm just soo scared... like if i were to date him... which i have given soo much thought like everyday... 24/7 things would just change... i would change and i dont want to change bc i like who i am right now and i would hate to change and mess everything up... everything that i have now... like nothing extrem has really happed only the fact about corey being gay... i just wanna be his fricken freind bc i hate having enemys... idk thats just how i am i guess the thought of some one talking about me just really gets to me.. bc i mean if you dont like someone of course your gunna talk about the its like a proven fact. O and i found out that cody thinks i like corey, but i really dont. I knew he thought that, but its really nothing like that... i talked to cody about it too... and he trusts me and that really means ALOT to me.. like.. trust means so much to me..wow i couldnt even begin to discribe how that made me feel about him after he said that...like cody is not like any other guy... they would get all into it, but he dosnt i guess thats somthign that i really like about him....ooo and the fact that he makes me smile 24/7...lol Yeah well i dont want to keep going on about cody so i dont sound like a freak..lol well more than the one i already am. I had a pretty good day, latly i've been in the mood to just get everything done and finished. I think thats just bc i have problems amoung the many... but hey.. I'M OVER IT!.. lol good i love saying that it puts me in a good mood!...ok well yeah... i'm gunna go.. i'm soo excited right now and happier then i was when i first wrote this... bc vanessa's dog just had puppies!!! awww yay! i'm so happy well i need some sleep to big game tomarrow... against odessa... ok nvm not a big game bc were gunna beat them soooo bad...just like last time!...lol ok g'night

*everything is how you make it out to be*

~Celeste

ooook... where do i start?? Ok well this morning was pretty interesting i hung out with cody and his crew.... i felt so weird hanging out with all guys, but its alllllll good. Wow, cody stoped by my locker and like i brought coffee to school this morning bc i had a late night and i like ended up spilling it all over myself... lol like i was smelling it and then BAM... i'm not quite sure it all happen but it was kinda funny but embarrassing... o well ya you guessed it... I'm over it... lol then i had studyhall well that was interesting... it was really nice out and so miss rogers let us go outside so i took my book that i was reading and layed out and was reading... the entire time they guys were picking on me being all like... hey we should be like celeste and try to tan with our pants on...lol wow... how gay and then jay(he's my cuz) like was chuking a bouncy ball at me...that kid is sooo lucky it didnt hit me and so i stole it from him haha... then he was still being gay...lol but anyways yeah and then Brandon picked me a flower haha..i still have it as my book mark. what can i say... i'm loved.  Yeah and i was also yelling at corey for being gay and for saying something that he "thought" happend so by the end of the class everyone was on my side... but hey its not like i was trying to get that to happen he had to be an ass and keep it going so i told everyone the truth that he wont even listen to and they were all for me!..lol yeah poor me though...i was just laying out trying to read my book... thats what you get... haha well i'm sure you guys want to know what the thing is... well i went to swain (its a skiing place) with jesse my firend and we went skiing and stuff and like these 2 guys were hitting on me and stuff and i like avoided them and stuff... haha i dont really like getting hit on by random ppl... but i mean they werent ugly...but the thing is corey thought that it was when we were going out and that i cheated on him... It pisses me off bc i would never cheat on ANY ONE!.. i'm not like that.. and for him to think that pissed me off!... yeah i go around screwing random ppl past the fact that i'm still a virgin!... but w/e let him believe what ever he wants its cool.. but i dont want shit going around that i'm like that... and i was like why would you think that and he said it was the image that i give off!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME!???  You should see have the ppl in our school i'm def. nothing like that!... i dress like skater and shiot and i havent done crap... what the hell?? ok... i'm really over it..but i dont want a rep for crap like that! thats fricken crap!!!! ok changing subject....

Sry cody but i have to ebarress you...lol but man i like felt cody stomach and it was Nice!..lol ok.. i'm done i wont go any further... haha

New subject...haha

we had a softball game!!! yeah against odessa... last game of the season... yepp sad i know! ok well lets start off with... WE WON! yeah... breath it all in!!! it was like 18-8?? somthing like that yeah well it was awesome!! i have a good story and then a bad one.. ok...lol well the first inning they got three outs on us... then we were out on the feild and this girl made a home run... yeah... A HOME RUN!! Welll so its 1-0 were losing... and so its our turn to bat... we got 2 ppl on base and then its my turn up to bat.... yepp... me... and i hit a triple!! agian!!! i was sooo happy so i got 2 RBI's and then when i made it home it made 1-3 Yeah... thats right!! and then ok... bad thing... i over threw 2 balls in a row...i got sooo fusterated!!!  i wanted to be like wow.. i'm done! i was so ebarressed ...like i felt like i threw away the game...but we won... so i guess i'm ok... just so ya know i'm really hard on myself so thats why i was gunna flip... lol i hate it when i mess up... and it being my last game.. but hey i have to remeber i'm not perfect...haha ooook now yeah..i'm procrastinating ... again and my writing is going no where and is boring so i'll just write later

~Celeste

YAY...i finished both of my book reports... i was suppose to do my vocab.. but oops!...ok well i think i'm gunna go to bed!

Just some random thoughts:

*Everything is just getting to be too much, i'm not sure i can handle it or myself... what to do??

*People are really starting to get to me!

*I'm strong, i can handle this... COME GET ME BABY!

*Dont try too hard... it just make things that you had soo close become so far from you

*Be who you want to be dont change for someone else

*BLAH.....

~Celeste

ooo i had to put in that me and corey are good now... were friends haha...yeah i'll give it a day.. haha... but we talked about it and now he believes me..ok... so i'm feeling better that i'm not gunna have crap going around about me.. thats reasuring!... ok well good night i'm pooped..lol

~Celeste

Ooook.... well today was pretty much sucky... yep def. Okay, so we have this vocab thing thats due every week and this vocab thing is like EXTREMLY LONG, BORING, AND HARD!... normaly i dont do it i just have Amy check like an old paper and i do the same... well today i desided well i'm gunna just do it... and so i copied off sophie... lol well i never finished coping and it was due 2nd period... so amy like "checked" it and stuff and then miss lam asks for our grades then tells us to hand in the papers... yeah well...half the class got 0's for cheating....and i was one of them...fun fun....i thought this is just great... oo and we had a test so b4 she handed us back our papers we had to take this test so the enitre time i was shaking like mad crazy....i didnt even notice it until i stoped shaking my foot (habit) and then looked at my hand... crazy so i prolly bombed the test... it was soo fusterating and stressful bc the whole time she was yelling at us about the papers and i was all stressed and stuff... i have so much to worrie about right now...its insane. But anyways yeah... that was a good way to start off my day...and then what next... oook lets see o yes and like i prodicted coreys mad at me again.. haha go figure... i didnt even do anything this time... i sit next to vanessa in living enviornment and corey sits behind us and they fight like the entire time... so since i was sitting next to her i get acused of taking her side... haha w/e this is getting soooo old were in high school grow up!

I looked like crap today... :'(

ooo and i'm leaving in 2 days... i got all packed and stuff... theres like soo much oo and i found out that i'm going to go to Epcot!... i'm sooo excited... this is gunna be sweet.. and i get to party with seniors... haha YES! i'm sooo excited!... hehe ok..... anyways today did suck i had to walk home and stuff and it was hot and blah.... as soon as i came home all i did was clean!...i'm like the only one that dose stuff around here besides my mom....AHH!!...damn i'm stressed!!! i have this HORRIABLE headech... well i'm gunna go life being gay so yeah

~Celeste

Heyy there, tomarrows my last day here for the next 9 days!! YES... i need this soo bad... i need to get out of here! its been soo long... i apologized to Lam for cheating and stuff and she was ok with it.. she really isnt all that mad ooo and did i tell you... she wrote everyone up!!! yepp like only 5 ppl didnt get wrote up in a class of like what 23?? yeah...lol so sad... but like we did deserve it...we cheated. And like she talked to us and told us that we are only cheating our selves and she is soo right. i mean what are we gunna do in the future?? I totaly get her side....I wrote her a comment thing on the write up saying that "I did lie and i had no excuse to. All i can say is sorry and that an excuse was unnessary" like i dont deserve to give her an excuse...yeah but i'm gunna do my work now..lol i learned my lesson. I love Lam... i really do she is one of the most inspirational teachers i know... like just listening to what she has to say. She really gets me thinking and i like that..lol like every day we learn somthing new about life and new ways to put things in prospective. i wish i could just give her as much as she has given me.  Wow, i'm blabbing about my teacher..lol anyways i'm not gunna cheat anymore bc what my actions are present as in NOW effect not only my image but what my future will be...like if you get caught cheating all that respect that that person had for you is gone... you lose so much! and i cant afford to lose that. I want ppl to see me as some one they can trust, some one they can come to, someone that ppl have repect for... i dont want to be anything less...

*Go big or go home*

Do you ever look in the mirror and feel like you are looking at a totaly diffrent person then you feel? like i feel that way all the time... Like i look in there mirror and think wow...the way i look doesnt fit in with the way i act...like what do you call them sterotypes?? yeah...like i think i look stuck up some times... and thats just not me! i actually act like a lil kid..lol its kinda sad... but like if i just saw myself and didnt know anything about me i would be like wow...and thats it... i would be afaid to approach myself. Its kinda weird. i just cant get over how stuck up i look! like ok... this is the real me... i love having fun and just hanging out but i am still cautious on certian things...i'm level headed, meaning i think b4 i act....most of the time. I'm not mean, like i kid around by picking on ppl, but not to an extent. I like acting like a fag.. lol its soo fun and i love corny things and doing corny stuff lol..thats mostly bc i love laughing. OMG i just had this sudden moment of thought of how i used to only be firends with ppl that i thought were pretty..lol i would be like ooo she's pretty and try too make friends..lol wow...little kids i swear. ok but back on task (damn ADD) i like picking on myself..lol (like what's exotic? or just recently when i found out congo was africa...lol <<def felt retard there) like i think if you can laught at yourself and stuff and can joke around that makes you a more approachable person and a more likable person to be around. I'm not quite such if that is who i am but thaty is how i feel i am... ppl just now me a totaly diffrent way...i wish everyone cord really get to know me...ooook... i have to admit this and i'm only gunna admit to this once... i think i'm pretty good looking.. lol ok i said it and its never gunna be said again only somtimes thought i have my days...i think everyone dose...the ony thing i dont like about myself is my legs...lol that it...lol there not bad but i mean i wish they were thinner. I wish had convidence in myself... oo any by the way... if you havent noticed i'm not the kind of person who is gunna flant themselves and i'm not the kinda person that brags like DAMN I'M GOOD LOOKING! thats just not me..i'm strict and hard on myself..but if you've read my blogs you prolly have heard me say it numorous amounts of times... well i'm gunna go i'll write latter i have more to say on thing... leave me a comment!!! PLEASE!<magic ward now you have to!...lol

~Celeste

You know what pisses me off the most?? When ppl think that there problems are bad enought that they have to do somthing... and half the time that stupid crap is destrutive. Like they can do somthing and think its gunna solve all there problmes... well its not! it dosnt solve anything... it just leaves you with regret! Like i here ppl say stuff like... oo i'll just go kill myself and make things better, i know there not being serious but there are ppl out there that are.... Like i was talking to someone the other day and they were telling me that they had no purpose and that they shoud just go die... and then theres others that have diffrent destructive ways.... and it just bugs me.... i mean what the hell!! When i said it leaves you in regret it leaves you in regret... My grandpa thought that his problems were soo bad too and guess what... he killed himself... yeah and just hearing ppl say crap like that latly just really gets to me...i've never really cared this much about it until now.. until i began to hear it soo much.  And like i was extremly close to my grandpa... he was my only grandpa... and now i can never see him again... and i'm sure if he could have changed what he did i'm sure he would... i know he never ment to hurt anyone other then himself and if he were here he would tell me that... That just gose to show you that when you act to somthing like that, that your not just hurting yourself but your hurtings the ppl that love you as well and even if your not feeling loved at that time dosnt mean that someone out there dosnt care for you. So hey, if your reading this and if you ever feel that way... please think b4 you act...i know you may feel like your letting out all the pain but your not... your scaring yourself with a memorie a memoire that you will soon want to forget and will never be able to.

Thanks,

Celeste

I'm leaving tomarrow!!! I'm soo happy yet sad that i cant bring all my firends with me... ;-( Its gunna be fricken saweet! I'm gunna go to universal ehhhhh yay! But man, i'm really gunna miss alot of ppl! I'm gunna try and keep in touch...if i can! i know its just a week but still i love my friends so much... OMG Vanessa made me a huge poster that said i love you and then had all these cut outs and inside jokes on it...it was sooo cute ooo and she wrote me 50 reasons why she loves me.. lol awww i was like YES!!! i felt so loved.. now you can see why i love my ness so much, she makes me feel specail...lol I wanted to spend time with her after school but she had a meet, but its all good i got to hang out with cody!... he's such a stud...lol i had a good time just talking to him... :) ! It was wierd bc i did somthing i cant remeber what and then we were both like... hmmm... what ya gunna do..at the same time...lol then we just looked at eachother and laught..lol it was soo weird i mean...it wouldnt be as weird if i hung out with him all the time but see the thing is we dont really hang out so that was the weird part about it... lol i wounder if it was a sign....Well anyways i gave him a great big hug b4 i left to go home and then cassie gave me a ride...on the way home we were talking about cody..lol...why dose that not surpise me...lol and how i think his mom dosnt like me..lol and i guess she asked cassie about me and of course she put in a good word for me.. :) O and another thing that was weird was like when i got home i was eating and then i was like humm... i wounder what codys doing.. as soon as i finished thinking that the phone rings and its him...weird.  O and in Math today Cody came in to barrow a calculator and he said somthing funny and as soon as he left everyone in the class just turned and looked at me... and i was like.. why are you looking at me for?? lol and alan gose i wounder why... i'm still trying to figure that one out...juuuuuuuust kidding. Wow i've really talked alot about cody... its just that idk i think i really might like him... maybe....theres a posibility in there...But anyways... What an interesting day...no ones mad at me i feel like everyone has my back and that i belong... like idk it hard to explain...i guess what i mean by that is that where ever i turn i always have a friend near by...weather it be a close one or a not so close one...Everything is just so great right now... Florida is gunna be fricken awesome!! i cant wait.. only 12 hours away and i'll be on my way to Florida baby!... watch out orlando, her comes celeste! haha... yeah right...well i think i'm gunna go to bed i'm not really tierd but as soon as i do the faster i can get out of here!....(cody told me he loved me!!)

*I'm soo happy*

*C.L.L.

~Celeste

Hey guys i made it to florida in one piece!!! I was soo scared at first with the whole 9-11 thing, but i'm good now. I would have to say its been a pretty crazy experience for me....lol When i got here my grandma gave me a phone that i could use while i was here so that i could call my parents and firends and they can call me! She gave me like $100 too so all together i have like 120... wish i had more, but its all good! As soon as i arrived we headed over to my aunts and uncels house and then we had dinner with them at the Texas somthing somthing... (idk) and our waitresses name was Celeste... lol it was soo wierd for both of us bc we never really get to meet other ppl names celeste...haha yeah but anyways it was weird bc the thing i ordered was her favorite... so that was kinda irronic...lol Wow i have to tell you about the air plane thinger.. ok... like taking off was like a roller coaster....and landing as well... i've been on an air plane b4 but omg.. i love it!...lol ok anyways but like it was soo beautiful... like we were flying into the clouds and you could look out the window and see the cloads above you and below you... it was just soo nice oo and when he hit fl. i took pics out the window... yes pretty sweet doggie...I'm like soo tierd and cody should be calling soon soo i'm gunna go i'll write later!

I almost cryed when i left my mom at the gate with securty.... i love her soo much!

~Celeste

Hey, i'm in florida.. YAY i know..lol ok last night i stayed up and talked to cody untill like 11 40 somthing and we were talking about who ever wakes up first calls the other one...ok... so i wake up at like 6 and my phone rings... lol and yeah it cody... but its wierd bc i didnt call him and he didnt call me..hmm... that wierd i was so confused... well i still am but wow.. wierd...If i didnt call him and he didnt call me then?? what happened?? is it a sign?? lol no idea.  So anyways that was pretty interesing way to start off my day.. then i went back to be and got you around 8 and then layed out to tan!! we headed over to the pool and me and my grandma went swimmin while Bob(step grandpa) watched...yeah i was smoking my grandma at swimmin.. she didnt know what past her...lmao juuuust kidding...Then we got out and tanned and i got some color finaly..lol Omg the pool is heated haha it was sweet.. haha yeah that was pretty interesting.. oo and then as soon as we got home it started to rain.. like really hard nowits nice out again and i think i might tan again... i dont want to get burnt though so i might not..plus i havent unpacked...yeah i'm just a lil lazy... i should be doing some home work so then i dont have to deal with it later bc my week is booked.. you'll figure out when the day comes i'll give ya the full 411... dont i always?? ok yeah well thats enough for now...its only lunch time and i'm having a blast.. oo and i had to tell ya haha the best part...Bob bought me some wine coolers!!! i was like SHYEAH... there like mararita ones.. yeah and when i read it i was like... awww margie!!! lol (shot out to margie..lol i love you my horny devil you...lol... juuuuuust kidding)(ok no i'm not) (yes i am) (juuust kidding again) (ok i'll stop) But anyways...i need to get to stuff and i'll write later!!!.. cya!

~Celeste

Hey there! I just got home not to long ago and i'm burnt... well not really burnt i'm just red and when i wake up i'll be tan!..lol tomarrow i wont be able to go out much bc its not gunna be as nice as today... well ok... i went to the pool earlier and went swimming.. then i came home and tanned... when i was outside these guys went by and were like hey baby..lol what fags..i just ignored them and worked on some homework... i have lots of it. Yeah but hey "whats ya gunna go?"..lol anyways...When grandma and bob got home we headed for the beach and had a lil pic-nic!!! it was soo much fun..lol i was eating and watching the lil birdys run back infort.. toward the water and then away...then.....i chased them..lol i got all sandy and stuff from the ocean.. but it was worth it! i was looking for shells and stuff for my mother... i went in like not too deep like not even up to my knees  so that i could rinse off the sand and then this HUGE WAVE comes and knocks me over.. lol i was laughing soo hard...We took some pics which i would share but i'm not sure exactly how to...lol well i guess that sucks for you!!..lol juuust kidding...Well i'm like extremely tierd and my writings kinda sucky bc i'm sleepy..lol but i'll write later... love all my Glenians and miss you guys oo so much!!! I hope yall have fun in school tomarrow!!! haha

~Celeste

HELLO PEOPLE!!!

Today was pretty good... i layed out for a bit and then went shopping!! I spent like $130. I got 2 pairs of shorts,2 shirts and capris...then i got flip flops,post cards, and a fake tatto thing from spencers...lol (the tatoo is for a prank..lol) I didnt have to pay a thing, my grandma payed for it... so i still have like $120..hehe like in a way i feel bad but then again theres more too it then that bc when my grandpa died everything went to her and his buiness was like a million dollor buiness and so she got like soo much... so i dont really feel that bad...but see she buys me like everything and like anything so then i feel bad bc she dose it all the time.. but hey.. guess what... I"M OVER IT!!..lol ok i feel better now...hehe.. i went for a walk after we got back and had dinner... man my grandma is a speed demon!.. no joke! she was like half way down the street and i was trying to catch up...haha.. we walked like 2 miles?? somthing like that..it felt like 6....lol well we came back here and chilled and watched bob fix up the house..lol See where i am is were that big tornado/hurrican thing was and like it took out a whole bunch of houses and stuff... its crazy! anyways...my grandma and bob went in to get tickets for the Universal thing today and well...i desided to stay in the car... yeah i was waitng for them for like an hour.. by myself... so i was thinking of ways to amuse myself... then i remeberd hey..i brought my camera with me...lol so i ended up takeing all these retared pics of myself and recorded myself.. lmao.. i'm just a fag! annyways... some of you will get the joke bc they know me better.. haha...lets just say i'm know for taking pics of myself...lol anyways.. well i'm gunna go hit the sac.. (the sac.. hahah) G'night

~Celeste 

OK... well today wasnt that exciting , but tomarrow will make up for that bc were going to universal!!! HELLS YA!!! I swallowed some florid this morning (lol)so my stomach has been killing me all day...omg it was nasty thouh.. dont ever do it.. its like one of those "dont try this at home" things.. my mouth got all numb and i couldnt feel it..lol it was wierd.. but anyways...We headed over to Subway to pick up my grandma (my uncle owns it and my grandma helps out) then we headed over to Hollywood. I used to live there so that was kinda cool and we past my old school and my old house.. and it was just idk ...it brought back alot of old memories...not that i would like to remeber them or anything...but hey, what ya gunna do?? So we went to Hollywood bc my cuzin' is graduating(thats why i came to FL) and omg did that take forever!! She had 600 ppl in her class!!!! i was sitting there for like ever!!!! its like this privit school so everyone is all like stuck up and spoiled lil rich kids...but hey.. what ya gunna do... anyways...then we headed home and didnt get back till 11 30... i called my mom and talked to everyone.. everyone misses me besides steven (my lil bro) so i was kinda sad... oo well at lest the other one was about to cry bc he misses me!!.. When i talked to him i was gunna cry! omg.. i didnt want to talk to them bc i knew this would happen!! I MISS HOME!!! but like its soo awsome here.. i'm not really homesick yet... i called cody too...i miss him so much!! i cant wait to see him when i get back... i miss everyone!!! Vanessa hasnt called me so i'm not quite sure whats going on anymore...its ok though.. i'm over it...i guess.. still kinda sad...Well i'm gunna go to bed now bc its 11 37 and  i have to wake up and be out of here by 7 30-8 to head on over to universal!!!! YES!! G'night!!! I'll write about it tomarrow if i get home intime!

                                                             ***!!!SHOUT OUTS!!!***

*Margie~I MISS YOU!!! I'll bring you some coffee from starbucks for you!! lmao or maybe some nightquil! haha ..juuuuuuust kidding i miss ya marge!!! I cant wait to come back to we can screw around in french!!

*Vanessa~ WHY THE HELL ARNT YOU CALLING ME!!! i'm like.. soo sad! I miss you but i guess your lil songs you left me on my phone will just have to deal for now....i miss you!!! I LOVE YA!!!

*KIKI~ I MISSED HOUSE!!!! You'll have to give me the full report on monday!!..i love you and miss you!!!

*Sophie~I MISS YOU SOPHIE AND THE GAY THINGS THAT WE LAUGH AT!!! (tear)

*Cody~Well of course you know i miss you.. i talk to you everynight! i cant wait to come back!! I cant wait to get my hug thats waiting for me at home!!! We have to hang out b4 you leave! :-*

GGGGGGGGGG       ''''''''     NNN         N  IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  GGGGGGGGGG  HHHH      HHHH  TTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

G                             '''''''''     N    N       N         III         G                            H            H                 TT

G                                      N      N      N         III         G                            H            H                 TT

G        GGGG G                 N       N    N         III         G        GGGGGG     HHHHHH H                 TT

G                   G                 N        N   N         III         G                    G      H           H                  TT

GGGGGGGGGG               N           NN   IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  GGGGGGGGGG   HHHH    HHHH              TT

~Celeste

Hey there again.... it like 7 in the morning but i left somthing out last night so i just had to tell you! OOOK... me and my cuzin were at the Irish American Pub (resterant) and so were sitting in the car waiting for everyone to get there and then i see this lady....she was like in the road and we think she had like obcessive compolsive (Sp??) bc she would like walk a certian amount of steps then turn around and walk those same steps again and then she would walk a lil more further and then do the same things... at first i was like... what the hell is she doing... like i've never seen this b4...i was laughing soo hard.. i know i shoulnt have been but seriously it was just soo funny...i felt bad that i laughted bc she couldnt help it bc i think its like a mental disorder soooo...idk but i like sunk into my chair and just laughted... i mean i just couldnt help myself...it was somthing diffrent so.. but what ya gunna do?? well i though you should know that... i found it rather interesting...haha well i'm gunna hope in the shower and head to UNIVERSAL BABY!!!! cya!

~Celeste

You know what hurts so bad?? when ppl talk behind your back...and whats even worse is that they say stuff that isnt true... that pisses me off... bc then no one belivies you and its like what the heck!... ahhh i really hope no one is talking about me in school exspecaily if its crap.... i mean i'm not sure but i hurd somthing... i'm not mad over it yet bc i dont know if its true or not.... like i dont think i could trust my sourse.... but anyways.. yeah that makes me really mad and like i'm not saying about but since were on this subject, half the time ppl say that kinda stuff is to ppl will let up on them... like what they did or somthing so they dont sound as bad... but hey... ppl are like that... what are you gunna do.... just soo ya know this isnt about anything that happened to me its just a thought that i had so i thought hey why not talk about it.....lol but anyways.... my day was pretty interesting i guess.. i got ALL my math done!!! HEYEAH! and like some reading done too omg ... i lost my vocab book! i have no idea where it is... i hope i didnt leave it on the plane!!!! THAT WOULD SUCK BIG ONES!! yeah but hopefully i'll find it.. i'm gunna go all out tomarrow and look threw everything....but ya today was as nice day.. i got roasted! my back is like white lol and my front is bronze..lol i'm such a retard!...lo. yeah but we didnt end up going to the beach bc my grandma said i had to do my homework and theres still lost to do... so were not going to my aunts tomarrow but we on on sat. Thats my last day here! i'm kinda said but then again i'm happy bc i want to see everyone!! well i'm gunna go i'll cya

P.S. the title has nothing to do with the entry...lol

~Celeste

Ok... i'm so i'm sitting outside laying on the lawn chair talking to cody right? and then i hear this scream so i'm like "cody, hold on i think i heard somthing" and so i get up and look down the street and i see this guy riding like full speed down the road toward me!! and its not like just some guy this guy had a black mask on and he started yelling stuff like..."I"M CRAZY!!!!" and it was in this voice.. .omg and then saying stuff like "I'M A POT HEAD" and so i start to get up and i'm flippin out saying omg omg omg omg omg and so i start sprinting into the house and slamed the door and like duked... like he looked at me.. like it felt like he looked into my eyes ya know?... so thats just plan freaky! And damn i'm already paranoid as it is! i dont know how many times i said omg.. lol i couldnt say like anything besides that... it was just.. omg!...lol and cody was flippin out bc he thought something was happening to me.. haha it took me like 10 mins. to recooperate....i've never been that scared in my life.. like it felt like a movie!... i thought i was already gunna get obducted in the parking lot and then this!... OMG... i should have known as soon as i spilt my orange juice...lol  yeah but anyways... it was kinda funny but now i cant sleep bc i'm scared shitless!

~Celeste

Ok.... well today was ok i guess nothing great happened... i did some homework and stuff like reading but it gets soo hard bc i need glasses so i get these really bad headechs....but yeah.. and so i layed out today... it was soo hot out wow!... it was hotter yesterday though. my  butt got burnt too....lol i think i'm still kinda white... but o well what ya gunna do?? So i lost my vocab book!!!... darn it! i'm screwed... this is cool...lol but i'm kinda over it... yeah...lol today we went to the pool and stuff and i layed out... omg my hair looks like so much lighter! i hate it... the ends are all blonde... so when i get home i'm getting my hair cut...yeah i'm on a role i got this all worked out.. lol ok tomarrow were going to the beach (Hollywood boulavard board walk) yeah thats gunna be fun and then were heading to my aunts to party for graduation!!! jonny on the back nine like HELLS YA! ok well yes i need some sleep, i'm like sooo tierd like you wouldnt believe these old ppl are wearing me out!!!

*going home in 2 days!.. tomarrows my last day!

~Celeste

oooook well its only like 9 30 so nothing big is happenin...i was suppose to go to the beach today (the board walk) with my grandma but now my cuz is taking me...sooo i not that excited anymore...(you dont know my cuz) but anyways yeah..lol i got woken up last night at like 2 am bc some one forgot to say good night haha... isnt that cute?? i was like out of it so i'm not sure if i said anything gay or what not or slured my words...haha...probably...but yeah...i had a feeling he would call back so i kept my phone next to me... hmmm maybe that tells ya somthing.....maybe it dont.....who knows?? yeah well todays my last day and i'm leavin tomarrow morning!!!! i'm sooooo excited to come home i miss my mom sooooooo much and i miss all my firends. I'm sure no one misses me but its cool...lol i'm not much of a "part animal" even though kiki thinks so...grrr baby reall grrrrrrr....(vanessa... haha) anyways i'm a faget and i say dumb things...lol yepp i know... but ya gotta love it! so i'm mostly all packed... i'm sooooooooo mad bc i have no idea where my vocab book is!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!IIIIIIIIIIIIII  <~ it looks like a latter!!! haha  wow i'm sry i'm like wooho right now so i'm just gunna go b4 a make more of a retard out of myself....o and yes i think i gained like 5 pounds... no joke! BLAH!

*Shorty you dont know me!* 

~Celeste

Well today i went to hollywood and my cuz kourtney (the cuz that i like) took me to the beach instead.... well first we went to her firends grad. party for like a half hour and then we went to the beach and i got a t-shirt and a shot glass for some one... i'm not sure who i'm gunna give it to... i think i'm gunna give it to either vanessa or kiki...lol hmmm... we'll see....i might keep it!..lol i dont have one yet! well after we went to the beach we headed over to another grads. party... that was fun and interesting... the first one was kinda better be we were playing volleyball...lol everyone was surpised with me bc i'm a freshman and there all like seniors and stuff..lol but yeah and then after the 2nd grads party we went back to kourtneys and washed up... i got a lil tan....lol i'm like getting easier and easier tanned...lol another week and i would be black!... lol  so my cuz had her grads party....which was cool i guess my lil cuz came... calab.. he's so cute he's like 1 or 2? not sure but awww he's so adorable! my anut let me have some pucker stuff (alcohol) and it was kinda gross bc i could tast the alcohol to much.... maybe if i mixed it with like sprite or somthing... sure.. now i think of this... but anyways...i ended up playing pool and stuff and i didnt really know anymore... well some ppl but idk... there were like these 4 guys that i had no idea who they were i think they were all like sophmores??idk... maybe... but yeah they were there i kinda avoided them...lol well i think i'm gunna go my flight leaves at 11 and i need to get up at 6 30 and its 12 15.... soooo yeah peace out homies!!! haha i'm not white anymore so i can say it!!!!!

~Celeste

Heyy ppl!!! i'm home from fl. It was amazing! i loved it! my g-ma said we should make it a yearly thing! YES!...lol On the plan i met 4 new ppl... lol there from SU. I think they were like in there 20's?? yeah but this one girl i was sitting with we like talked the entire time..lol she is so funny...i cant remember her name but she was pretty cool...and this guy names matt... yeah i only know him bc he interduced himself bc i was sitting next to him in the first place and then i switched and then they switched (age requirment thing) and so we were all kinda together... lol but anyways... b4 i got on the plan my grandma took me to this place and was like get whatever you want... i felt bad...lol i was sooo spoiled.... i was. i got like 2 mags. a pic fram and 2 shot glasses...yeah i was sad to leave her... she looked like she was gunna cry... awww... and then when i arrived home my family was at the door waiting for me... the got me a rose.... oo and my daddy cried! awww!! i feel loved now! He looks like a tuff cookie but he has a good hart. i love my daddy!...o and i found out steven the one that said he didnt miss me really did miss me but he was hidding it... i was like awwww....but yeah anyways...i'm home and i'm tierd and i'm sick of plans and driving!!!...lol i have such a horriable head ech and i'm soo worried about school!!! i'm gunna be sooo behind... but i'm gunna work my ass off to get back on track! well cya ppl!

~Celeste

Heyyy... i havent written in a while so here it is...ya ready?? oook...

Well on my first day back to school i went to my locker and was putting stuff away...then i see cody and he had flowers in his hand... i was like AWWWW!!! i gave him a biiiiiiiiigggg hug...lol in the roses was a note and it said "If you have noticed there are onlu 9 roses. One for everyday that i missed you"(i was gone for nine days"...i know it sounds corny but it was soooooooo cute.... i loved it! well.... anyways Cody asked me out this morning while given me a BIG hug... lol i said yes... of course... thats a no brainer... lol i had sooo many tests... omg... i wanted to cry when i had one in math...i mean i've never felt this much hate toward a test in my life!!!!! Well i'm gunna go i'm soooo tierd!!! like you have no idea... G'night... i'll right you later!!!!!!

~Celeste 

Hey, well ok today is gunna be a good day!... i hope...lol i've been cleaning all morning for the last 3 hours and 1 to go...uuugh...but thats ok... i'm taking my bros to the movies at 2pm to see kicking and screamin(i'll tell you how that goes) and then i'm prolly gunna come back here and then get ready for my date!! YAY! i've never been on a date b4...so this is fricken awesome! But anyways... i had a chorus concert yesterday... omg it was sooo embarrasing.. lol its not that we couldnt sing its that we had to dance! and some songs that we sang were just plain GAY!....like go granny go granny go granny go! what kinda song it that!? seriously!...lol and during the song one of the guys dressed up as a granny and was riding around the stage on a scooter... i was laughting the whole time...haha what a dork!...and then after we came home and i watched mr.deeds... sorta.. kinda feel asleep on that one... but w/e i've been so tierd lately... like my mom works 2 jobs so she isnt really home anymore and my dad goes to work then comes home either gets on the computer or watches tv and then goes to sleep... so i have to play mom... its so hard and fusterating bc i have to balance that with school and my social life and it just wears me out....Being with cody is kind of a relief from everything...he tells me that i'm beautiful all the time so... that makes me happy!!!..lol wont it make you? Speaking of calling me beautiful.... ever since i've been back ppl have been telling me that i'm beautiful...um... i dont get it does that mean that i was ugly b4 i left?? lol i guess so... well i'm glad i'm pretty now...haha..i dont think i'm GORGOUSE... but i'm not ugly...i hope! and i'm def far from perfect! yepp DEF!...lol i dont have much to say... well i do but i cant write it...lol its not bad... its just that its not somthing for the world to know...even though i should be writing how i feel like all out... i just cant... i'm straning myself....lol but i have to go.. the boys are prolly gunna set something on fire or break somthing...lol i'll write later!

~Celeste

Yeah, well we walked down to the theater to find out that the movie dosnt play until 7 pm but it says that it plays at 2 and 430 pm today online... what the hell i'm mad now!... ahhh all that work and then .. nothin....lol o well i'm over it! Omg ok well in the house across from us there are like partys all the time... like mad parties... and well the ppl that lived there moved to England... and then last summer they came back.... and then they went to England again.... i dont get it but w/e but see its like this bad house.... for a while it was like the drug house.... like ok.. there have been so many busts in there that i cant even keep track... like drug busts and alcohol busts and then the person that lived in there last like molested a girl soooo yeah... well anyways... i'm walking back from the movies with my brothers and i notice that there is some guy sitting on the porch watching me... i'm like oooooo shit...lol the ppl from england moved back and there the teed's and this kids name is micheal... yeah but anyways... he's like 16 or 17 and he is like this REALLY bad kid....i'm like afriad now...Like these ppl are assholes too and like all you hear is screaming and music playing and cops comeing... wow...oo and there dog barks 24/7 so i guess i'm not gunna get much sleep anymore... YAY fun fun...lol well yeah this is a bummer...I wish i could talk to cody but he's at work so thats not gunna happen...lol well i think i'm gunna go i'll write later... again

~Celeste

Do you ever have those times that you feel helpless and have no one to turn to bc no one is there for you.... or that the ppl that are just stab you in the back??

There are so many ppl in our school that are just so fake... like they will be your firend to your face but then talk behind your back... whats up with that??  I wish i had alot of close friends that i know would not talk about me behind my back... like i've had it happen to me so many times that its become so hard for me to trust anyone anymore... like trust is a big step for me... i dont think i can even really trust my bestfriend... i guess i just have a trust issue... but its cool though bc i have one person that i know will always be there no matter what... some one i can always talk to and tell anything....i know it sounds corny but my mom is like the only person i can trust.. not even my dad... i cant trust him... he's let me down too many times... so many ppl have let me down too many times.. and when that happens continuously you just lose faith in them and what they might say to you and just stop trusting them... i wish ppl would stop being so fake... i mean look at the world around you... everywhere you turn you see somthing or some one fake...like plasitc surgery...i know ppl want to look pretty and stuff... but thats not you.. some ppl do it to make them feel better... and it just makes them feel worse... and like ppl act fake too.... they act like thier your friends but there not... they go behind your back and start talking smake.... thats just not cool... i mean i have done that a few times.. but i mean i feel bad afterwards ...i think its bc i'm jealious and i'll admit it... i'm jealious of amost everyone in my school... i wish i had made for me... like margie... she has it made for herself.. she is so much fun to just be around.. .but i am sure she has her shares of problems... and like ppl like sam she is very pretty and has a great body... i wish i had that... and amy... she has a great body too... and she dosnt relize it... i wish she could just see it... and vanessa... where do i begin? she is just gorgouse! she's not fake at all...like she wears like no make up and stuff... and she acts the same all the time... at lest that i know of... well around guys thats a diffrent storie but i think that gose for all of us...lol (girls that is) but my point is that ppl are fake and some times they dont have to be, and ppl that talk behind others backs is bc there jealious... its a true fact.. why else would you talk behind somones back?? to make them sound better? no to put them down and make yourself seem better... i dont get it anymore... life is just one big blur....i just wish there ppl dont or didnt or never talk behind my back again or ever....

P.S. i have never talked behind margies back... (just so ya know marge) but i will have to admit i have about some others... either bc i was mad at them or just jealiouse... this not being resently

~Celeste

I went on my first date EVER!!!!!! It was the best.. i soo needed it!! I met cody and we walked over to jerlando's and then headed over to the movies... we were kinda late bc no one thought of ordering it b4 so we had to wait 20 mins. lol nice... so yeah we were late...haha... during the entire movie cody was whispering in my ear and telling me that i was so beautiful.. lol i was like awww.. he's so sweet... i dont think i could ask for more...YAY!!! and then after the movie we had time to spare so we walked over to the peir it was the best!!! haha.... we sat in the pavillion type thing and then we walked down the rocks things and he gave me a piggy back ride... hehe... and then we just sat at the end of the rocks and talked and stuff... it was so perfect... so romantic... wow i cant even begin to believe that it was real! After that he walked me home!! yay!! i had sooo much and it was just... awww... amazing!!! i cuddled with him... yay!!!it was cold outside so we were trying to warm up by cuddling... cody is like buff...lol and like when he holds me or hugs me he makes it seem like he never wants to let go... i love that!!! lol well it was such an amazing night!!!! I hope to have one like it again some time soon!!! well i'm gunna go i'll write tomarrow

~Celeste

I kinda am feeling really sucky...there are so many things that i wish i could do right now! I feel so excluded...i feel like i'm just not good enough...like i wish i had friends to go hang out with every weekend... but i dont... no one wants to hang out with me.. i guess i'm just not "cool enough".... god this just sucks! And if i ever do plan to hang out with some one they always blow me off! You know what i hate the most.. when ppl choose other ppl over some one bc some ppl arent "cool enough" i cant stand it! AHHH!... Every weekend i just sit at home... hanging out with... myself... ok i think i'm good with the self time...like everyone just has there own lil "clicks" and if your not part of that then you mean like nothing to them...i'm just one of those ppl who are part of nothin.. bc i am nothing.. at lest nothing good i guess...this just kinda sucks... i dont even really have a best friend....and it sucks so bad... bc i mean everyone needs some one... and i dont really have that some one.....and i really wish i did... a firend i could tell everything to and wouldnt pick on me or laugh at me when i get into it...i know this sounds pathetic but i'm crying right now... it hurts... just knowing that you dont have anyfirends to lean on...idk... thats just how i feel.. alone and abandaned...i guess i'm just gunna stop trying bc all it is doing is killing myself... maybe i should be mean and not give a shit...it wouldnt make much diffrence...its not like anyone would notice...just stop trying to be a fun person...bc its just not working...i'm just not "cool enough" i'm just ahhh... i wish i was something, someone or somebody.... but i guess it just wasnt ment to be that way... we all live for a purpose and i guess for me thats just not included.. i am gunna live alone a die alone..............................................................................

~Celeste

OK these are just some things that are running through my head...

I feel like i'm drowning in a pool, helpless and everyone's just watching me....

I'm so mad bc the thing wont let me put on a picture!!! damn thing!

I want to talk to cody real bad, but i cant....thats what sucks the most. To not be able to do somthing you want...It's been bugging me all day and i'm fusterated and i'm just not having a good day!BLAH!... ok yeah well i'm kind of addicted to this whole mindsay stuff.. its sucking me in and making me type!!!...lol sry well i'm gunna go... most likely i'll type more later!

~Celeste

I have somthing to type... but i'm not sure if i should type it on here... lets just say my bad day just got worse.... soooooo....ya... i'm just gunna say my parents are really getting along...yeah.......and i get stuck in the middle...if they leave i have the boys so... yeah this is just cool!!

~Celeste

OK... today is gunna be a good day!!! You know why?? BC I FOUND MY FRICKEN VOCAB BOOK!!!HELLS YA!! I'm so excited... it was like underneath this big pile of clean clothes which were sitting on my floor for like ever..lol oooooops! Well i'm just so happy and relieved right now!...lol SCORE! I am suppose to do somthing with cody today... buuuuuuuuuut i'm not sure if thats gunna happen... hmmm... idk i just have my doubts about everything... haha but w/e i'm over it...yeah so i guess sophies birthday is today...he's my big shout out.....HAPPY FRICKEN BIRTHDAY SOPHIE!!!!!!!!!  i love you my lil sex kitten!!!...lol i hope you have a awesome day!

Well its about 2 30 so mostly what my day has consisted of so far is.....

well i woke up at about 8 and then went back to bed bc thats just too early...lol i went to bad at like 1...soo... and then i woke up again at like 11 30... i smelt food thats the only reason why i desided to come down stairs...lol sad but true... and then i cleaned my room and found my way cool vocab book and then watched some disney sing along songs....lol i love those fricken movie thinger!! I sing to them and everything...haha my dad was on the computer and heard me singing and just started to burst out laughing at me... haha i would have to admit it is a funny site... the things i do when i'm bored...yeah.... soo i'm sooo bored and have NOTHING to do... but idk...w/e....its cool... i'm used to it i guess... i have a lot of retarded moments with myself.... haha.... dont we all?? i hope i'm not the only one!!....lol yeah but i think i'm gunna go bc i dont have much to write and i'm just kinda bored so i will mostlikly ramble on like i am doing right now just bc i have nothing to do and i'm bored... soooo i'm just gunna go and sing some more disney songs....cya!

~Celeste

*I'm more of a giving person...*

^dont be sick minded... margie!...lol

Want to get to know me better... Read.....

General stuff

*Whats your name? Celeste

*Whats your D.0.B? Janurary 8th

*Boy or girl? girl

*Straight or gay? straight

*Hair color? A light brown... (natrual highlights)

*do you like your hair color? some times...

*Do you have a tattoo? nope

*Do you wish you did? hmm... no bc i hate needles

*What about peircings? Yepp...ears

*Do you want any more peircings then you have? um...idk... once again i hate needles... but my belly button would be cool

*Do you have a girl friend or boy friend? Yes

*Do you smoke? Nope.

*Is smoking bad? Yes... very

*DO you drink and get drunk? Only once...

*Is that bad? Idk... i dont think so as long as its not all the time and in public making an ass of yourself

*Do you have a favorite color? Sure...

*What is it? Green

*Whats your favorit movie? Meet the Fockers

*Whats your favorite band? Um...i dont have a favorite but i like Green Day and Simple Plan and other stuff like that...

*Have you been to any of your favorite bands concerts? Um... simple plan

*Whats your favorite car? Corvette Baby!

*Do you own your favorite car? hahaha... i wish! 

*Whats your favorite food? hmm...grilled chicken with mushroom sause on it and cheese!!!...mmmm

For girls:

*girly girl? i can be...lol

*do you have a boyfriend? Yes, i do. 

*how far would you go for a guy? um...idk if they like me then they like me if not then... i'm just out of luck... i cant change someones mind

*How often do you go shopping? not often at all...

*What do you notice in a guy? Eyes, Teeth, body...(appearence) personality

*Whats the farthest you gone for a guy? for um..idk... with... thats none of your business (and i dont do things like that FOR a guy)

*Have you ever stayed on the phone for more then an hour? yes... tons of times

*how bought 3 hours? Yepp

*what about all night? Haha... almost

*do you ever save AIM convos? haha... yeah i do

*do you giggle alot? yeah.. with my firends and stuff not just out of no where..lol that would just be silly...haha

*have you ever been on a diet? yes... i've tryed slimfast...eating right...eating less...lol (not like eating nothing)

*How long were you on it? um....they didnt last long...lol

*do you wear make-up? Yes.

*have you ever got in trouble by an older person on what you were wearing? haha.. yeah... it was a fricken white-beater (white...wife.. somthin)

*do you ever play with your hair and not relize it? somtimes

*have you ever got together with a guy and made out with him in the same day? Nope...

*have you gotten your first kiss? Yeppers

*do you have a crush?who? Ooo yes...lol Cody Lakomy

*who's the weaker sex? boys duh (i'm with kiki)

 *are you cool with lesbians..or not..? I'm cool with them...there ppl too

*are you cool with gay people or not? yeah...REAL cool...lol jkin jkin

*do you ever get called a slut? Yeah...only bc ppl are assholes

*do you ever get called a bitch? Um...yeah.. somtimes(jkin most the time)

*do you ever get called a geek? haha...only by like sam

*do you ever get called a blond? HAHA... yeah!! all the time!

* do you ever get called a goth? haha... no

*do you ever get called a punk? Yeep all the time...but not latly

**FILL IN THE BLANK (random stuff)

*coke or pepsi? pepsi

*Sprite or 7 up? hm.....7 up

*girls or guys? guys

*flowers or candy? hm... hard one...it depends... i love flowers.. but i could go for candy somtimes... only like once a month.. haha

*Scruff or clean shave? clean...i dont want to get pricked...haha

*blonds or brunettes? brunettes

*sluty or bitchy? bitchy

*tall or short?  short (thats the best way to be)

*pants or shorts? pants straight up!

*night or day? night

*sex or make out? Make out...i havnt hit that stage of sex...that is gunna have to wait!

*romantic or shallow? Romantic...of course

*drinking is...Fun.. with friends!

*smoking is.. Just gay

*drugs are... A sign of weekness

*boys are... hard to understand

*slowdancing or freak dancing? Slow dancing...i like the romatic type

*surfing or skatebording? surfing...(even though i hate sharks)

*soccer or football?  football

*ice hockey or feild hockey? Ice hockey

*track or swimming? Swimming

*baseball or basketball? Baseball...

*tennis or golf? Tennis... haha sry (even thought i suck)

*dance or cheerleading? Hm... i dont know... i guess i'll pick cheerleading

*ping pong or bandmintion? Bandmintion...haha

*computer or football? football

*partys are...fun

*people who use the word like in every sentence are...slow (THATS ME)

*skipping classes..good..or..bad...umm... i would never do it!

*politics are....i dont know.. there liers

*malls are...full of clothes!..lol

*crushes are... Fun... untill somthing bad happens

*blue eyes or brown? Blue...

*long hair or short? it dosnt matter

*Intelligence is sexy or gay? SEXY

*skinny or muscles? Muscles

*family or friends? Family

*friends or computer? Friends...duh

**FRIENDS: who is.....

*who is always making good grades: Sophie, Margie, Katie,Hilary

*failing school...i dont think my friends are failing school...lol (cassie?)

*laughing...Sam

*crying...Idk

*annoying..why would you be friends with someone annoying?

*patient..sophie

*blond...Kiki, Sam, Amy, Vanessa, Margie, Sophie, Kaite... just about all of them...haha

*hooking up...Margret

*hooking people up...hmmm... idk

*hiting on people: Vanessa..lol

*having people hit on them...Vanessa and Margie Sunnie

*who is caring.. We are all caring!

*spoild but nice...Margie...lol

Yeah.. well that was fun....cya ppl!

~Celeste

I just got back from hangin' out with cody... we went to the movies and  watched the longest yard... he hasnt seen it yet... and we saw kiki and them and they came to sit with us...lol what a time.. yeah but anyways... after the movie we walked to the peir again... lots of ppl were there..lol so we walked down the railroad tracks by the senaca harbor... yeah then he walked me home....awwwwwwww... ooook but it was a good day... my dad and the boys are gunna go to the races tomarrow... we (me and my mom)were gunna go but i guess not anymore so me and my mom are just gunna chill here... prolly redue the floor?? doonoo....

ok i know this may sound like so gay... but who cares... this is my journal... i can say what i want!...lol ok... well i was just thinking... when me and cody are together, like how we act towards eachother... like if i were a person watching us i would think... wow... i dont think i could see anyone look more inlove... idk i guess its just the way we look at eachother.. it gives me chills like i have butterflies in my stomach its so crazy...ooook yeah well i think i'm gunna go i'll talk to you later! cya!

~Celeste

Haha...sooo... i went to Ithaca today... wow some interesting pplt there... lol me and my mom were just drivin and waiting for the light and we have the sun ruff open and stuff and then all of a sudden i hear this music over ours...so i turn the music down and look back... haha i see this funny lookin old man in his convertable blaring some classical music singing... lmao.. i just started bursting out laughting.. haha... what a site... and then we were waiting again at the light and i look over to the right of me...(i have a tendency of observing lots of things) and then i see this lady and then somthing else... and i didnt notice what that somthing else was so i did that lil double look thing and the lady was holding a fricken huge green snake!!! i was like holy shit...lol and didnt look at it... i was like mom... look.... and she started flippin out to... how the hell can you take care of a humoungo snake like that while trying to drive??? what if it bits and then your just screwed! i could see taking like a lil puppy or cat... but a snake!!! AHH!! ok... i'm good..lol yeah so then we went shoppin and i got these really cute yellow capris and this really cute shirt to go with it... its like lacey and stuff... yeah and i got some new shoes... their sooo comfortable!! but yeah... today has been pretty good...i got to see where cody lives... his house is fricken nice!... i was like... oo great... i have to live up to that?? nnnnnnniiiiiiiceeee... i'm screwed... haha yeah... but hey... what are ya gunna do? well i'm not sure of all of what i'm gunna do today... i was planning on helping my mom with a few things and maybe hangin out with cody and then sam...i'll write to ya later about how everything goes...planting time!!!...lol cya

~Celeste

*i think i'm falling, but are you gunna catch me?*

oooooooook... well today was a good day.. .ok it was a GREAT day! you already know what happened earlier so i'll inform you on what happened after... ok well... i planted some flowers with my mom and then shot some hoops... lol fun fun!... cody called me and asked i would like to come up for a lil bit bc he was having some of the guys up for camping....i said ya of course...lol i was gunna bring sam but i had to ask travis...so yeah... it took a while to get ahold of him and then it just got to late so that didnt work out...yeah but cody came and picked me up at my house around 8 30 and then we went to pick up sammy and then headed over to wal*mart to pick up some stuff...and then to codys...OMG i went on this thinger like i dont know how to explain it but it was so much fun!!Like idk... like you hold onto this bar handle type thing thats attached to a rop and to like shoot across it and well your suppose to land in the cabin but... yeah... that didnt work out too good for me...lol but it was fun... i was kinda scared but it was fun...and then me and cody watched like this movie type thing.. it kinda reminded me of Jackass...yeah.. like it had stunts and stuff like that in it...and we just hang out and cuddled.. it was so much fun... i love cuddling...And then it was about that time... yeah... time to leave, so he gave me a ride in his samuri... that was fricken awesome!!..lol i got all this mud on me..and when i got home my mom picked some out of my hair...haha....yeah i had so much fun... and when we were waiting for my mom we just sat in the samuri and looked at the stars... it was just so perfect and amazing....i love being with him... i have so much fun!  He's like... everything i've wanted and all i need...i'm seriously so lucky...i cant believe he's not taken and mine! Its crazy how life works like that...gotta love it though......YES!! i'm in such a happy mood....well i'm gunna get going... i'll write tomarrow...cya!

~Celeste

*I just keep falling deeper*

ok... well lol... this morning i woke up bc the phone kept ringing and no one would answer it... so then i was like ooooooook...i cant sleep like this...so i got up and answered it...it was travis.. haha cody wanted to hang out so i was like... ok call me in like 15 mins.... so i hopped in the shower and got dressed real quick...then i ran down stairs and just was walking around for no apparent reason and i looked out the door to see if anyone was home bc i hadnt seen anyone and so i glance over and saw that codys truck was here... at first i was like... noooooo... haha so i when outside and met him and travis.. haha i looked like crap too...so yeah then i had to get all pretty and stuff and then the three of us headed over to aarons...Sam came over and so did megan orbin and we all just hung out and watched the movie...somthing american and like everyone fell asleep... except me and cody... lol and then travis started companing that he was hungry and was yell for cody to wake up.. haha me and cody were under the covers pretending to sleep...lol then i got up and made everyone peanut butter and jelly sandwiches... haha.. i made aaron this humungo one...lol packed that baby full!!..lol and then travis and then me and cody shared one...sam had already left and megan ate somthing else...so yeah... i made lunch for them and then we just kinda layed around and talked... haha well we kinda just listened to travis...he was talking out of his ass...lol yeah then we tryed lifting cody and travis like had him literly up in the air... and i'm like dragging codys head... haha yeah then we eventually all got up...and i was hugging cody and i stepped on his feet and he started walking.. lol we were doing good too until cody like bift it..lol yeah....so cody dropped me off home and when ridding and thats about were it ends... i talked to ebony today though...we were just livin in old memories... yeah of like the movies that we used to make...omg good stuff...i dont think an adam sandle movie is better then it...like i'm not even over aggagerating! i dont know how we came up with that stuff...ok yeah.. so when she comes up to visit were gunna try finishing are video that we started 5 years ago... or i think were just gunna make a new one!! haha its gunna be sweet!!!well i'm gunna go peel some potatoes for dinner while watching an adam sandler movie...i love adam sandler!!!

*wow...i cant even begin to believe this is real*

~Celeste

Ok well my day ended pretty good...cody came up and we went for a walk to the gorge and just sat there and talked....it was so much fun... lol yeah...I've been studieing for like ever trying to get this vocab down bc i have to take that test tomarrow and i'm readin some sparknotes bc i have no idea what the book we are reading is about... its like sooo hard... for like college ppl...i'm only a freshman in high school... i cant read this and understand this shit!!its seriously soooo boring and long...yeah so well i think i'm gunna get back to studieing... long day tomarrow...cya!!

~Celeste

Allllllllllllllllll right... i had a pretty bad day yesterday...i got a write up.. AGAIN... bc i let some one copy my homework...BLAH... yeah... so thats 2 detetions...but i'm really not a bad kid!!! i'm not!! i dont get it... what is up with this?? Ok... but w/e...yeah so that happened and i didnt get to see cody that much that day... oo and corey was being an ass to me...like reeeeaaally mean....i was gunna cry...i dont see what i do to him to make him so mean to me...i wish he would just go away and leave me alone!!!  oooo yeah... ok well at the end of the day... cody met me at my locker and took me up to show me the waterfalls... it was so awesome.. he brought a blanket and layed it out for me to sit on and we just had a good ol' time....lol i have so much fun with him...yeah and then it was time to come home... ooo i had a doc. appointment and i have to get a catskan and my blood drawn and a shot! OMG i HHHAAAATTTEEE needles!! you have like no idea! ooo and awards... at the awards assmbley thing for sports...they give out three plaques(spelling??) per sport... ok well i did softball, volleyball, and cheerleading... sooo i got Most Improved in softball, Sportsmanship in volleyball, and Most Improved for cheerleading....pretty good eh? oook well on to today...today was ok i guess... we had another awards assembly thing... but not for sports and i didnt get anything... like all the seniors got the awards!..but w/e i'm over it! We got our year books too.. but i didnt get one bc i never paid for it so i'm gunna buy one tomarrow... there like what $40?...yeah so i have to remeber that...and after school cody met me at my locker and we sat and talked outside and then we went for a walk and talked and stuff bc i had to talk to him about stuff...like... i wanted to know what exactly he wants from me... and like we were talking about somthing and he said somthing about how he dosnt have freedom or w/e like cant flirt with other ppl...but i guess i just missunderstood him... he said he thought that maybe that is what i was thinking... hmm....seriously... flirting with other ppl was the last thing ever on my mind... it shouldnt matter at all ya know? yeah, but anyways... its all good know...i feel so... whats the word... idk like set...like somthing could go wrong and i can handle it... at lest with cody...i feel stronger and more capable of things when i'm around him...its the best feeling in the world!

~Celeste

*please dont hurt me now*

oook... well yesterday was so much fun... haha omg so much to tell you!!! ok...i'm gunna try and detail it as best as possible... ok here it is....

*In living Environment vanessa told off corey for me... haha it was fricken halarious....like vanessa and kiki and like everyone was yelling at corey or w/e and i didnt say anything i was just sitting there doing my work and corey gose... miss estey can i give it right back to them... and then he starts complaining about me when i wasnt even talking so vanessa was like corey wtf....celeste didnt even say anything about you and all you do is be an ass to her...me and kiki were yelling at you and you put celeste down and make her feel like shit... and then everyone else was like... ya corey you do... haha it was the best...what an ass!

*After school me vanessa and cody worked out and stuff... well cody was in the back doing all the hard heavy lifting and me and vanessa mostly ran the whole time..

*Cody came and picked us up around 5 15 somthing like that and like me and vanessa were playing with my bros and their friend like monkey in the middle thinger and it was with a basket ball and so it was like 3 on 2 and cody pulls up so i'm like ok...were done and i pass it to vanessa and then vanessa passed it to me and then i had it and went to go make a basket so i like went to run and i slid and fell and then got right back up and made a basket... haha it was fricken halarious!

*So were riding in cody's truck listening to some tunes that me and vanessa put in and just started singing and stuff and he was laughing at us...haha

*  Ok so we get there and stuff and i wanted to try the zipper thinger again... lol and vanessa wanted to try it... haha... ok soo i'm first... i was like vanessa it so much fun you wont get hurt i promise...just watch me... haha... ok...well i go and i'm holding on to the bar and i'm going fine until all of a sudden the rope goes inbetween my legs and i get all stuck haha...i'm like WHOLY SHIT!!!...and i just started laughing...cody had to get me down and then he just started laughing at me and vanessa was crackin jokes about it... and then was like... ook thats it ...i'm not doing it... haha ya... but eventually she ended up doing it but when she did it... she was going but then her rope got caught on the root of a tree...so she was just like dangling there and i was laughting so hard... omg i almost wet myself... so matt had to get her down haha...

*Ok... well me and cody were in the cabin and we were watching a movie and like you could here the guys outside like... "hey cody, can i start this..." and so they were trying and i was like... ok thats it ... i got this...so i go out and i try to start it and like i guess my legs just arnt "long enough" lol so i was trying to do it and stuff.. and i scrapped the side of my leg and its all bruised now... haha the first layer of skin came off  but its fine.. it dosnt hurt to bad... i'm a warrior!

*Cody starts up the back and shows off of course.. lol it was pretty sweet though... i love the sound of a dirtbike... its so soothing.. i dont know why...lol but ya so he did this fricken awsome hill type thinger and so he takes aaron on it and rides with him... ok so after aaron comes back he askes me if i wannted to ride i was like noo noo noo.... ok...lol so he gave me his helmet and took me for a ride... well i guess i leaned the wrong way and so we were turning and we fell.. like it feel on my leg and i got a lil cut..nothing serious haha i was fine though.. i'm a tuff girl...it was funny though i was flippin out bc cody didnt have a helmet on... i was like omg are you ok....so we get ok and stuff and he makes me ride in the front.. lol so yeah...that was pretty interesting...

*Then later he wanted to show me the water falls...so me vanessa matt and cody all went to the waterfalls...but cody was being so cauious of me bc he didnt want me to get hurt...so he helped me down the entire way....it was really fun and he showed me this view that was soo pretty... you could see senaca lake and the lights were all on in the houses... it was just so pretty...

*omg i forgot to tell you... oooook haha... cody and matt had to go up to the house to get matts bike out and stuff... or w/e and steven was just riding around in the samuri and we were just talking to matts dad and we bet cody $10 that we could get the tree choped down by the time he got back... yeah so were like wacken at the fricken thing... matts dad started a little bit of it for us... haha...so we were taking shifs and stuff... and i got this big red blister type thing on my hand from choppin.. o and yes... we got TWO trees down.. yaah... thats right TWO!!!  so i think thats ... $20??? haha...  yah.. but we were wakin at those suckers and when it feel we were like timber and steven was just standing there right were the tree was falling and i'm like STEVEN MOVE!!! lol.. wow... yeah so that was fun...i got really hurt yesterday... i'm so clumbsy! haha... it was funny though

*and yes... we had a lil chit chat with travis... haha he's a good kid...

Well thats about all lol i think i covered everything.. it was so much fun...just hanging out with the guys and of course cody! ;-)

>>**i get chills**<<

~Celeste

Today was a gooooood day! My mom came home this morning around 11 and then she went to bed bc she had to work from 11pm to 11am... so yeah my morning consisted of nothin much but mooping around...lol around 3 30 my mom woke up and then made brunch... lol and then cody came over around 4 and we walked the gorge and then we walked to my house and so since i was all shaking and stuff bc i hadnt really had anything to eat... omg i felt like i was dieing...lol cody took me out to get ice cream...mmm it was good! i felt alot better after that and then he took me home...aww what a day... i got to spend about 4,5,6,7,8,9......6 hours with him... not to bad... lol i had so much fun... yay! well i think i'm gunna go watch spy kids 2 with my brother... he looks lonly...cya and g'night!

~Celeste

*One Slow Dance*

ok... well my legs hurt... Real bad! I think it might be from when i worked out after school on friday...i havent gone to the gym in a while.  It just hurts so bad and my arms from chopping the tree down...lol i cant even walk straight... no joke...Well so i guess were gunna redo the living rook this green color and a grey type color and a mellow white type color...idk i think thats right..hmm... yeah so we have to go get stuff to match the room and paint and we are gunna redo the floor(its hard wood)... yah.. and my mom wants to do rubber duckies in the upstairs bathroom...lol dont ask...i want to redo my room too bc the whole cheeta tiger type thing is getting kinda old... i want like... BRIGHT coolers! like orange yellow and green....hmm... idk... i highly dought that is gunna happen...but i cant wait till we redo the living room... i hate it...lol i hate my house period!...i mean its not ugly... i guess i'm just so used to it that it just dosnt seem as nice to me....yeah... ooo and were gunna take up the carpet in the computer room and the breakfast room and kitchen and put tile...but thats gunna be a while...yepp... sooo i'm kind of excited.... ok well i will write later...i think i'm gunna get some sun with my mother...leave me comments and all that wounderful stuff...just so i know that i'm loved!!!

~Celeste

*All i can think of is you*

ooook... well i was just thinking(arnt i always??) i feel like i have a mental problem...lol no joke... like i black out or somthing and do somthing crazy and dont relize it...lol like mentally challanged ppl dont know there disabled... so i mean i could not know...hmm its always somthing i woundered... like do i black out and freak out on ppl and then i'm all good...and no one reacts bc there used to it...hmm.. wow.. i put way to much thought into this.. lol i'm just gunna stop now...lol Leave me a comment...sil'vous plait??!!!(means please in french)

~Celeste

*dangerous you are*

ok... well i havent been updating this latly bc there hasnt been much to say...Finals are coming up and i'm kinda freaked out!!! i'm gunna try and studie like i've never studied b4...i never studie... lol but first i must get some ice cream... so i'll write later...ttly!!!

~Celeste

*S-A-WEET

OK so school is almost over...i'm kinda relieved but kinda flippin out bc we have the finals and stuff and i really dont want to take any finals... my head feels like its gunna explode!...I dont think i really learned much this year i really dont...Nothin really interests me so i dont remeber it and i normally whatever we do is review of what we did the year b4 and then toward the end is when we actually start to learn things...i want to study... i need to study but omg.. i just cant consentrate and it would be just a waste of time to try bc i have to wait till i have "one of my moments" where like i cant read somthing and really get into learning.. otherwise i get nothing out of it...maybe i'm the only one..lol dont know.. i'm just weird like that.  So yeah today was just a regular day... nothin great...well i got my year book in it and margie wrote the word wrinkly penith.. haha wow... that was the highlight of my day...isnt that just so pathetic?? lol i'm tellin' ya... but the summer is gunna be crazy...just you wait.. things are just slow right bc of the finals coming up and just all the cramming is just really getting to everyone... but its ok.. this is the last week of school... then we have 3 days of finals...and then were done!!!! HELLS YA!!! omg i overly excited....lol I was thinking about running for secutary or treasure for the class next year, but i took too much time figuring out if i should or shouldnt and missed out so... idk.. maybe next year... i think i would be a good secutary...hmmm... o well theres always next year.. i have all these goals for next year...i really want to get into everything.. it would look soo great on my applications and stuff... sooo yeah.. well thats about it... do me a GREAT BIG favor and.........put a fricken lime in the fricken coconut!....please??

~Celeste

*i can tell how you feel threw your eyes*

Oook... well i'm in word processing right now... ahhh... i hate school!!...its really starting to tick me off!!... I need to study and i have so much homework to do... this big essay thats 5 paragraphs long is due tomarrow... gayness....soo anyways um... i'm bored and kiki is getting attacked threw her computer by estelow...lol she thinks its a email...lol funny stuff... but anyways... back to my day...its been going kinda gay so far...ahhhh its just one of those days ya know??? I'm like sad and fusterated and i just want to go away and get away from all this...Cody has been meeting me at my locker every period and i kinda feel bad... like this morning i felt bad bc i feel like i'm taking him from his friends... like i'm nothin to be all yippy about... seriously!  He should be with his friends and do his thing...i just wish he would...i love him so much but i cant be his everything and i would just kill myself trying to be...I want him to have fun frolick with his friends...lol...sry ok back to my mood... i'm having really had mood swings latly...to some ppl i just wanna go and bit their heads off!!!!  I wish i would get out of this stage... right now i'm like zoning out and i'm just typing bc i feel the need to be telling you all this...lol i'm just thinking of how... maybe i was a disterbance in codys life... idk... i hate it that he's not really with his friends that often... but i do want to be with him... its just that...idk.. he has a life too...but its so wierd bc i get mad that he isnt there with me... lol i'm telling you somthing is wrong with me... there always is... well i'm gunna go i think i should work on some homework since i finished all my work in this class and that way i wont have as much at home.... oook well i'll write how my day went later... put a lime in the coconut....if you read it you must!!...its just not far!!!

~Celeste

*Helpless inside*

Omg... ok.. well today started off bad... it was only 8 in the morning and i had already got a stain on my shirt, hurt myself, left my purse outside and lost my year book... lol... but then everything gradually got better...i got my purse and found my year book... and then after school a whole bunch of us went to go swimming up at "the third Dam"...?? i think thats what its called So ya... me, amy, sam, travis, and cody all when there... so yeah...its like in the woods and so you have to park the truck a bit away from it and so we walked to it and its like a clif and a swing type thing  so yeah.. you have to jump off to get down... omg ok so cody went first... then amy went and then i went...and then travis and then sam...lol omg sam did like idk how to explain it... it was like a bacck flopper... lol... poor girl...i wounder what i looked like! so yeah then we all got out to do it again... well yeah cody went first off the swing.. then i was gunna try going off the swing... so its my turn and i'm like all ready... and so then we hear some one yelling at us from across the water... it was like this state park girl...and she was like... get over here and were like... um... how... and she was like...however you came and cody goes.. we walked and so were like can we get our stuff?? and she's like yeah get your stuff and get over here... so were gathering up our stuff right?? and then travis is like you guys run ok?? and codys like.. you guys just go hide and we'll take the blame... so were like ok...so we grab all of our stuff and and like walk so we dont look like were running and like i here the girl nd she's like... dont try to hide in the woods... i was think... hell no were not gunna hide..lol so me sam and amy are like running to to truck...ok well it was just me.. i was sprinting my lil ass off... i was sooo scared, i was the first one to the truck...lol and so we all got in the truck and cody was gunna head over to talk to her and then he came back and was like... fuck it lets just go... so we left...lol omg it was so scaring and we had to look out to see if anyone would see us leaving or like cops were waiting for us...lol they think we walked so haha... yeah... i was flippin out.. like shaking sooo bad... but omg it was so fun! i've never actually been introuble like that... haha and we ran!!! omg... that was halarious...it was fun though... ok anyways yeah so we took travis to practice and then sam and amy to sam's house and then cody came over for a lil bit...and we played some b-ball then got into like a water fight type thing lol...so funny...i'm still soaked... haha so yes... my day got so much better! i love cody! He is so much fun to be with... i hope he never gets bored of me... and i hope he feels the same way i feel about him toward me...but some times...i feel like i'm losing him... and i dont want to...he's just sooo......great!!!! i love him!

*Will you love me forever?*

~Celeste

I'm kinda pissed off right now... i cant really say why mostly bc i dont want to sound selfish or anything... like have you ever felt like so pissed off but know that you shouldnt be... bc its a dumb reason to be but yet you still seem to be? Yeah well thats me...lol i am soooo pissed and sad right now but i know i shouldnt be...but hey... what are you gunna do??

*somtimes i feel like i'm losing you*

~Celeste

Some times i wish i could just scream...

-Celeste-

Today is gunna be a great day... an awesome day...i have the whole day to myself and can do w/e i want!!! Lets hope its gunna go as awesome as i plan... ;)

*Speachless*

~Celeste

ok... well i guess i was suppose to be keeping a list of things i eat and how many fait spell type things i have for the doctor to find out maybe whats up with me... ok so this is what i got so far....

• 2 faint spells
• Mac & Cheese around 12:40
• Yesterday: medication around 8 that are 600miligrams
• Today: 600 miligrams of medication at 1:00 p.m.

ok soo thats all i've got so far.. i guess i have to keep this updated... so you can just skip over this stuff if your reading bc its just somthing i need....

My lil update on the food and stuff

• 2 chimmi changas (good stuff)
• 1 faint spell
• 2 dizziness

Ok well thats it for that....lol

b4 i forget... JASON...THIS IS YOUR SHOUT OUT!!!...AHHHHHH!!!

ok anyways... back to reatlity, lol

today was an AWESOME day... just so... perfect..so cody and i hung out and walked to the gorge....it was raining so we ended up getting all soaked and when we kissed it just seemed so perfect like in a movie... but real...everything with him just seems soo perfect and unreal... somtimes i have to just stop and look at it and think ... wow... am i dreaming? I could never have pictured anything better. After that i was just so wet (dont be gross guys) that i went home and changed and then me and cody went and got a movie "the notebook".... good movie ;)

Well i think i'm gunna hit the books... well papers.. i dont have any books with me... Big global final tomarrow morning... yippy!!!

*Think of me*

~Celeste

Update:

• pinapple (a can)
• Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
• no faint spells
• no medicine

ok... well here we go now... onto my day,

Well i woke up and got ready for school like always...I had a final 1st period. (global) yeah... i think i did pretty sucky...lol i just kept getting off task... i swear i have ADD its getting bad... i was even thinking that too... i tryed to consintrate like seriously sooo hard and i couldnt...lol ooo and at the end you have to write an essay... yeah well i just wrote a whole bunch of bull... lol no joke.. i just made stuff up as i went along...oo well i'm not too worried about it... i'm mostly weird about LE and Math....mostly math bc i dont get any of the work...i have a 91 in that class but i seriously dont know anything... theres gunna be proofs on it too...AHH!!! Proofs are the hardest thing in the world and should rot in hell!!! i hate them!!!! OK but anyways, yeah today was good... after my final i had a  2 hour review with lam and then i was allowed to leave... SHYEAH!!... me travis sam and cody all went to Arby's and they got somthing to eat... i wasnt really hungry...yeah so we meet jay there and omg... travis and cody were being so mean to him... i would cry if ppl treated me like that!! i would make a horriable guy! lol i'm hoping thats a good thing... yeah so we gave jay a ride home and i was sticking up for him... poor boy! In a way it really makes me think... hmm...would they treat me like that when there mad at me?? i hope not... i would cry myself to sleep every night for the rest of my life....Well so we dropped jay and travis off at school and then sam at her house and cody came over and we waited for travis to call... yeah... sooooooooooo travis called and so we went to pick him and sam up... then we went to aarons and picked up sammy, aaron t, aaron m and cullen.... oook so were in a 5 seater car... theres what...1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ppl??? lol yeah... aaron and aaron were put in the trunk lol and we put cullen sam and sammy and travis in the back...lol  yeah soo we went to cullens and went out on his boat (i fell when i was in it...lol it was halarious)  and then went swimming... lol ok i cant even begin to explain how cold it was...lol not even joking!!!... THO's in a instant...lol the whole entire time aaron, aaron and sammy were flooting on this bed thing...lol and cullen was upstairs... with himself...lol (dont wanna know)and it was soo nice outside so me and cody layed out and tryed to get some sun...Yeah... well unfortunatly it was... "about that time" so we had to leave....aaron, aaron and sammy wanted a ride home and cody just left them...lol i would never do that...lol but it was so funny... so yeah... we had to go home and thats about where it ends... hmmm...no more excitement...just a lil studying.. LE final and Math final tomarrow....BLAH!! Wish me luck... pllleeeeaassee... just put in a lime!

*mocho mocho man....i want to be a mocho man!*

~Celeste

Update:

• Arby's curly fries and chicken fingers.

OOk.. Today was a good day i guess... the last day of school!! I am so excited! NO MORE SCHOOL!! I cant even believe it like i still feel like i have school and its just the weekend...its gunna be a awesome summer... I had my English final today... omg i'm so glad its over with and all i have to finish is Living Enviornment Regents... so scared!...sooo thats not untill next wed.... Yeah soo it was a good day... Ebony IS HERE!!! YAYAYAYA!!!! I'm here at kiki's right now with Ebony, kiki, Vanessa, Margie, Katie, and hilary.... o and yes... you'll never guess who else... Lindsay.. cody's sister... lol just awesome...lol i feel like i have to act all good around her..just so she can be like... yeah... she's a cool girl...lol hmm... yeah i think cody's mad at me... idk why...maybe we are drifting.. idk who knows? no one does....hmmmm....yeah... but i talked to him i guess he's not mad but idk... he is acting weird... i hope its nothin i'm not gunna make it a big deal... its prolly just me overthinking things again...lol but anyways... yeah...so cody dropped me off at kikis after hangin out and  so when i got here there was Vanessa, Kiki, Margie, Andy, Zach, Katie, Sophie, Hilary, Christain, Sam and Amy were all here and we chilled...then a few of us went to jerlandos....OMG... i was walking and just you know minding my own business and then all of a sudden... out of nowhere gimbar gives me a frickin weggie.. like omg... my shorts and just everything when right up there...lol ooo and yes... the best part... to make everything so much better a truck driver saw me and honked at me... lol YAY!...lol just what i needed!!!...lol ok well were gunna have just a lil drinking...lol ok well peace out!!!

~Celeste

*You surprise me*

Ok... so were all drunk right now... yeah... and all i can think about is cody... i love him so much!! He's the only one i want to be with for a very long time... i'm typeing straight so i guess thats a good sign...lol But cody is all i can think about...hi celeste i lovo you yuour the olbieiautrirfbh baeutifulset and i love my penis for you...lol that was magie..lol she's a lil... lets just say... typsi celecstw...I .ove uy dososo much yea her IO ;lgvedr...lol that was hilary as you can see i'm the only one able person to talk...i love clest sio much she is my fucking lover

mother fuckers

i can type right! look at this

mother bitches

lol that was margie... ok...lol well i love you cody your  the most person in the world to me... and drinkin words are sober thought so this is true and cody you are so good to me and your everything i need and more...I love you and i always will... i cant even begin to explain how much you mean to... you mean the world to me!!! i love you!!!

~Celeste

*Your my one and only*

Yesterday was a good day...i came home from kiki's and hung out with cody... ;) I missed him so much!!!  I know it was only a day... but still idk what it was or exactly why i missed him so much... i was all nerves to see him..lol yeah so... he came here and we just were standing for like 10 minutes hugging eachother lol and then hung out till my dad got home and then we just drove around and then we were gunna see a movie and so cody dropped me off and went home and i just came home and crashed on the couch... i was soo tierd from last night...my head was driving me crazy! So yeah... i woke up and cody called....We went to jerlandos and got somthing to eat...the entire time i was laughting...lol i cant exacly remeber why...lol but yeah... so we headed over to the movies and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith (good movie)  yeah so i had a pretty good day... i hope i can see him or hang out with him today... but for now i have nothing else to write... and i have an doc. appt. in a hour.. my mom should be here any minute and i still have to eat and get dressed....i hope everything goes well bc i really dont want surgery or have to wear a brace....that would suck so bad...yes and i have a really bad feeling about going to the doc....i hope i'm just going crazy...but yeah... i'll i write later... put a lime in the coconut!

~Celeste

*I love to make you smile*

ook sry guys i havent written in a while so here it goes....

OK....well cody came over and we made some cookies!!...lol yeah we acsidently melted the butter a lil too long..lol but the cookies turned out pretty good...Then Vanessa came over and inhaled like the rest of the cookies...lol i'm juuuuuuust kidding she only ate 5...sooo yeah cody had to leave and so me and vinnie went to kiki's hotel and hung out with Kiki, Ebony, and Zach...then later we walked up to margies and stayed till about 10 30...it was so much fun... Margies basement is amazing... her bathroom has a fricken urinal in it...lol i really wanted to use it but i just didnt have to go...lol so we hung out with Margie, Gimbar, Jon Nash, Chris, and John michael...We played some pool and lost like... terriably...lol... yeah then we just sat around and watched some tv...ooo and yes... i got to see the famous whores gone wild film... awesome job girls...lmao...Margie (Do the chicken wing)...lmao... Yeah so then we came home and just crashed... we were pretty tierd......

ok next day... being today...lol

Well so Vanessa stayed the night and this morning...Cody woke me up... it was so cute...i was kind of already awake...lol but it was still cute...then he had to go... that made me sad but then me and vanessa went down to the boat ragotta (spell?) and just hung out for a while and cody met up with us there...we got some fried dough and me wearing my black sweatshirt got the powdered sugar all over me... lol...then eb, kt, soph, and kiki came over and then we left...Then ness whent home and then me and cody headed over to this race thinger... We had to stop and pick up sylas and then went there...and then went to the thing.. it was pretty good but i kind of expected more.. the freestyle thing was awesome.. they did a suiside and a superman...heel klicker and then the tail grab... pretty sweet yeah so that was fun...tomarrow me and vanessa are gunna flag... easy 40 bucks...lol puls if its nice i will get pretty tan!... well i'm gunna go..i will write later... PROMISE!!... only if you put a lime in a coconut!

~Celeste

*Lovin' is what i got*

Today is fathers day! I had Vanessa and Ebony over last night and so today Me and Vanessa went up to the track to work (Flaging for Moto-x) it was pretty fun...i got burnt on my face and it kinda hurts but o well... i thought cody was gunna come but he didnt so i was kinda bumbed...OMG this one guy #654 jumped the new table top... omg it was amazing bc he cleared it...CRAZY... i love the races!! The sound is the best sound in the world!...Yea so that was my easy $40.00 i kinda feel asleep when i was flaging...lol ooops!...Its about 6 o'clock and i have a chorus thing i have to go to that counts as my final at 6:30...i have no idea what to wear...hmmm.....i'll have to think on that one....speaking of thinking... (i had so much time to think) i was thinking about you know how you feel a certain way around certain ppl?? i wounder if they feel the same way around you that you feel around them..?? good question... but see the thing is you'll never really know exactly how anyone feels bc ppl hide things and dif. ppl have been through diff. things and situations so everyone see everything so differently...like sometimes i really wish i could knew the truth about how everyone thinks of me or sees me... without them lieing...i mean sometimes its good to lie.. but then again it just sucks when there thinking.."wow...what a fag!" ya know? ya ... i also wish i knew how cody saw me... and i wounder if he looks at other girls... and if he does, does he compare them to me? Does he think of me often?...What exactly are the reasons he likes me? Does he even really like me at all?? hmmm.. ya never know...well i have to go... leave me some comments please!!!

~Celeste

*WHERE ARE YOU!?*

ok well so far my day is going pretty good... This morning i woke up, took a shower and then me and cody headed over to the waterfalls and just layed out and talked...lol fun stuff...and then we went up to his house bc his sister called and wanted to make sure her door was shut so the dog wouldnt get out... the dog is so cute...its like the size of my foot and if you know me... thats pretty small...lol but yeah we let it go outside for a but and then cody made me ride in a subaru... YUCK!...lol but it was fun.. i have to admit it..lol we got in it and like...just tore it up...lol i hate subarus so that was fun for me... like he rode through the woods with it and just like swerved and just omg.. it was fun...lol i thought i was gunna die!!! he was going so fast too! lol yeah... so cody left and now i'm just waiting for my mother to come home...i think i was suppose to give the dog her medicine... i'm not sure... hmm... oops...so yes... i'm burnt ... my face hurts so bad...lol i think i might hang out with kiki and ebony down at the hotel... i just have to check with my mom...maybe if i clean up a lil i'll be able to...yeah so... i'm gunna go i'll write later... cya!

~Celeste

*Baby...*

Today was def. not a good day... not a good day at all...i woke up this morning, got some ceral... and then sat out on the porch...next thing i know my dad comes out and says to me..."Do you know somthing i dont?".... "What?".....and then he didnt say anything...then i see that he's crying..."Dad?"........."Your mom wants a divorce".......Instant tears hit me...omg this cant be happening i said to myself i get and give my dad a great big hug and just start balling...so many questions started hitting me...i didnt know what to do... how to handle it...We couldnt stay home... so we went and got some ice cream at the winners circle and then headed over to the mall....I got a shirt and a bra...then we headed home... its weird bc i had a dream i got a shirt and i woke up b4 i could try it on...and then today i got a shirt... which would have been the last thing i would think of happening...but its weird bc i saw all this coming... but i didnt see the biggest thing...oo yes and we went to time out and i beat my dad at this game...the whole day my dad has been crying... i dont know what to say to him...i feel the lose of words...then on the way home he says to me..."Today was the day i met your mom... 17 years ago".... i couldnt help but cry... WHY???...and then the enitre way back... i just looked out the window and woundered...and whenever i saw someone... it seemed like they were crying to...idk... it was so weird...i'm so conguesed and fusterated...i feel like i have no control over anything...and i hate that... i hate not being able to have control...but its not just that i dont understand it either... how can some one thats been with some one for 17 years just break it all off??? i dont get it...and in a way i feel like i'm stuck inbetween the two.....like...theres sides...i cant be mad at my mom... and i cant be mad at my dad...i just want to leave and get away... let them figure everything out... and to make everything so much better  i have a living environment regents tomarrow...awesome!

~Celeste

*I need you*

I just wanted to say thanks guys for being there for me...  I love you all so much...i'm not exactly sure whats all happinging... but my parents went for a walk and stuff so hopfully this will get better.... but i just wanted to say thanks....

ok... on to today... i had my regents for Living Environment...it was kinda hard but o well... it over... YAY!!!... this summer is just not gunna be long enough at all!....i will write later... cya!!!

~Celeste

Ok...i'm updating now....so yeah today was ok... regents then home...my mom brought home a boobie!!!...lol its called a "mini breast"...lol our doc. gave it to us so we can know how to check for breast cancer....i'm like inlove with it! Me and my boobie have a connection...Yeah... sooo i went putt putting with cody... i started off really bad but then i got really good..but like it was so hard bc ok... the putt putt place is at the peir so... its off the side where the lake is... and so yeah the waves got really bad and when we went to hit we would get spashed with cold water... so i was tryin to hide behind cody...and this guy was laughing at us..lol yeah so that was a good time... then i finally made it to my appointment to get my x-rays done... my mom is such a procrastinator... and i guess i should find out soon if i'm good or bad...i'm hoping i'm good!...but yeah then i went over you sosa's (samantha Johnson) and she had a whole bunch of ppl there...Vinnie, Sophie, Katie, Emily, Amy, Hilary, and Ebony...FUN... then i had to come home bc tomarrow i have to get my bros on the bus....i should def. be getting to bed i have to wake up at 8!!! this sucks!... i hope my girls are having fun... HEY MARGIE... I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!....well i'm out... early wakings tomarrow!

*Will you take a picture of me with my shirt off?*

~Celeste

So.... this morning Cody woke me up... awww... he's so cute.. and then we took the boys the the bus stop....then we just hung out until 10 then he had to leave me....:'(.... i got my tan on and tryed to tan on my roof... but i didnt get much sun... i but i bashed my leg on the fricken window!!!... damn!....Then i watched The Stepford Wives... that is a good movie...."I'm gunna stick a pine cone on the end of my vibrater and a have  VERY merry chrismas"...lol i love that part.... cracks me up...yeah then Cody came back down and then we hung out untill around 3:30...then he had to leave me... again... i was so sad....:'(.....yes and now....i'm just sitting here, eating oyster crackers (god i love them things) and trying to figure what to do... hmmm... well call me if you want to make plans... cya!

~Celeste

Today was good i spent most of it with Cody...We hung out here and then we went to Clute Park and went swimming...Yah.. that didnt last long bc it was like below 0... i'm not even over exagerating...so we just layed out in the sun and talked till about 7....Its so awesome that we can talk for that long... like i've never really been in such a good relationship like this....like it's so hard to explain...I mean he loves me so much and cares so much about me and i do to him too...I can tell him anything... i can be myself around him and not worrie if he thinks i'm a retard or anything.... i think for once in my life i've found some one who can love me for who i am... and tell me anything and some one that makes me fell good about myself...he makes me feel specail and like i'm somthing and that i matter.. what i think matters... its just so... awesome.. its perfect ...This relationship is just everything...nothing could be better.. and i've never been so sure about anything in my life...i hope nothing ever changes... Well ppl please leave me somthing... its kinda sad that no one leaves me anything... i should just stop saying it bc no one does...

*You wear me out!*

~Celeste

Well today was Me and Cody's one month anniversary!...He got me a dozen roses... awww it was so cute... i told him not to get me anything... but he just doesnt listen...lol its ok though... i love the flowers..lol Yeah so i hung out with cody From about 1- about 5.....My bros had there birthday party today from 1-3 at the clute park... i had to make 3 cakes.... lol i'm the next betty crocker!!.. ya.. you know it... dont hate me bc you ant me!...lol i'm juuuuuuuuuust kidding... but anyways me and cody got some ice cream and when swimming.. omg this lady was so funny... she was like going in and she goes... omg hunny... my butts sinking...AHHH AHHH hunny!!! AHHHH... lmao i was laughing so hard... bc she kept talking and me and cody just looked at eachother and walked away... lmao... i couldnt help but laught...awww. qould would you do with out ppl like that?? 

Today was a pretty good day thought... i just liked looking at cody and just thinking  of everything that we have done together in just a month... all the memories that we already have...just everything...i looked so deep into his eyes and feel inlove with him again... as i did a month ago...its si amazing that ppl can be so inlove... with just everything...After i came home i went to kiki's and hung out with vanessa, ebony and kiki...i really wanted to go to Aaron's party up at joes... omg i'm so pissed that my mom wont let me go... but idk...she did say she had a bad feeling about it... but i'm sure everything would be fine... like alot of ppl i know are going... including my boyfriend... i think theres gunna be drinking.. not sure... but i'm kind of afraid that somthing is gunna happen between cody and some one else... hopefully not... i really hope my feeling isnt correct...but i mean i know cody loves me so much... it just that... i trust him and all i just dont trust other girls... expesaily drunk girls... and i have seen my girls drunk... and its not pretty...HORMONS...I mean i dont get bad when i'm drunk i really dont... Well i'm gunna go i cant keep talking about this its getting me upset... well i'll write later.. please leave me a comment...

*Your my one and only... my everything*

~Celeste

Ook... so yes...Yesterday...mmm... yesterday...um... yeah...nothin really exciting happened... i hung out with my mom and then cody came over and we went for a walk to the peir and just talked....omg i wanted to get in the water... SO BAD...lol then we came back to my house and just chilled till cody had to leave... then i hit up ebony and told her i was bored so then i headed down to the hotel and we chilled... then kiki came home and we all just chilled and joked around... then margie came!!!  We all had a grand ol' time...then i hade to leave...(sad face)...Thats about where my day ends..

Today.. hmmm today has been pretty good i guess...cody woke me up... again... and then left... and then came back and brought me fries with gravy... but my brother stole them and ate them all...lol ooo yes and we had a water fight with my lil nieghbor shaun... lol he's sooo cute... he's like Islamic and he has a lil sister and they call her baby...she's so cute... lol i forgot what her name is...lol but yeah...so cody left and i'm here just being bored and talking to my sienor friend craver!!! i'm so sad... i only have her for one more year!!... this sucks ass... i wanna be a lil kid again and have no loses....so sad....i'm a sophmore.... AHHH... i cant belive it... i feel so old...the school year went by so fast like...i cant even belive its over...i'm in denial!...I DONT WANNA GROW UP... BC I"M A TOYS 'R US KID!!!...lol idk what i'm talking about...i'm a crazy mofo...i think i've drank myself retard... in the words of ebony...lol sooo i am going on the teen cruise later with all my girls... i'll write about it later!! CYA!!... leave me something....you know you wanna

*Amazing*

~Celeste

oook well... the teen cruise was fun...I love my girls...we rocked the floor...dont we always... i'm tierd... i'm out... good night!!!

~Celeste

*What is this?*

This morning i got up at 10 and then came down stairs... Cody came over and the we made breakfast and then hung out until 5....then i came down to the hotel and chilled with Kiki and Ebony... as soon as megan and her friends come in i get questioned.... "so...cody made you pancakes?".... lol he didnt but i guess someone said he did and then so all night megan (kiki's sister) has been saying "No sex in the pancake house"...lol yeah... then i saw cody's sister and talked to her about it too...lol yeah...this was at like 11 30 and me ebony and emily and zach were all leaving from Burger King...lol Now were here chillin out... playin a fun ol' game of monopoly... fun... HAHAHA... yea for ebony " Chump Change"...lol i had to morgage all my money and still didnt have enough!!!... Yeah... well were gunna play another round... its like 3 14 and were just getting started...i have a feeling i'm not going to sleep tonight...lol i am thinking of pulling and all nighter....omg that reminds me... when cody was over we like feel asleep on the couch and like he was jotling... awww... he had a bad dream too... poor thing... i love him so much with all my heart....i know how corny that sounds but it's true....I want to tell him sry.. but i dont know what for... i feel like idk...i just have to say sry...i guess its bc he trys to be my everything but he has no idea that he already is... and i feel bad bc i feel like i dont make him feel like he is my everything and i wish i could... ok... back to monopoly.... put a lime in the coconut

*Never change bc what you are now is what i want... and if you change, you'll just be somthing fake to me... nothin real and not the same person i dated.. even if you think it's for the best... please dont*

~Celeste

Ok... so yesterday was fun....lol but today is so slow and confusing and cluttered at the last sec.... i woke up at 12... that all nighter didnt work bc we finished and went to bed at 5....sooooo yeah i'm sitting here being bored... i tryed to call cody but he is working with his dad so i guess i'm not gunna be hanging out with him today... and vanessa called so were gunna chill and maybe go down to kiki's and chill with ebony and them.... i wanted to go to the movies with craver bc she asked me like last week soooo... yes then i'm just gunna chill with vinnie... well i'll write later and see how this all turns out...

~Celeste

*Whats happening?*

^Thats my Great Grandpa...he was a funny lil irish man...lol him and his scooter...lol...i'm sure gunna miss him...

~Celeste

*Things just dont seem to turn out the way we plan*

ok... so the whole thing about hanging out with vanessa didnt work... it never works...So i give up... screw it... She could care less...Its just she was all like...We need to hang out i havent seen in you in so long.. well you wanna know why you dont see me??? Its bc you dont have time for me... yeah... it just gets me... i'm sry but this makes me so mad!...Like the other day vanessa and i were gunna chill... then i find out she's at sophie's....then today she was gunna come over... she called me and was like we should do somthing... so she had to go and said she would call back... didnt call...then i was on my way to BK and then i saw her with these guys  and Ebony and Kiki....i dont even know what to say....whatever

~Celeste

Wholy crap... alot of ppl read my blog but no one leaves me anything!!!... although margie left me a message!!! thank you margie!! But please feel free to leave me anything... ask a question and i wont lie... promise!

Today was ok i guess...i hung out with Cody most of the day bc it was just a lazy day... i'm making dinner too... i'm so proud of myself...i really suck at cooking.. so we'll see how this turns out... My mom has to work till 9 and i havent seen her all day... so this kinda sucks i only got to see her for like 1 hour in the past 2 days...(sad face) so...i'm kinda bummed... i miss her alot...I'm thinking on what i can do tomarrow... i need to do somthing bc i'm not gunna be hanging out with cody much so... i was hoping to hang out with my girls...that would be fun!! So hey you guys read this... if you want to hang out tomarrow tell me... leave me somthing...LOVE YOU GIRLS!!! you guys are awesome and me so much to me!... i dont know what i would do without you!... well this is it... i'm done... dinners burning...lol cya!

~Celeste

*(SMILE FACE)*

Ok today was pretty good... me and cody had a very deep converstation and i let him know just how i have been feeling for the past week....i love him so much and i dont ever want to lose him...were gunna be positve for now on so we dont have any sad moments...he is my one and only my everything...

So i'm at Aaron tompson's and i'm just chillin with vanessa aaron and aaron watchin the bet awards...i'm stayin the night at kiki's tonight and ebony left with zach and she's leaving tomarrow morning!!! Well i'm gunna get going and chill a lil more for now then headin back to kiki's...leave me somthing good!

~Celeste

*Every lil thing that you do*

ooook... so we stayed at aarons until 5 am....i only got one hour of sleep...we came back to the hotel and ebony packed all her stuff while the rest of us watched full house(me and vinnie fell asleep)...then it was about 7 kiki woke us up and we saw ebony off....i'm not gunna see her till next year!!! its crazy....but so we went back into kiki's house and went to sleep till about 9? yeah so the total amount of sleep we got was 3... we'll vanessa 2...so were pooped...lol I'm not exactly sure whats goin on today i think i might be going home and getting my bathing suit on then laying outside and fall asleep....isnt that an awesome plan?? thought of it myself....well me and vinnie are gunna chill untill are parents pick us up....ok... well now i know what i'm doing today... vanessa reminded me that i am going camping... ooook... yeah well i'll write later...leave me somthing

~Celeste

OK... so yes...the whole tanning idea is out of the question it's extremly cold outside and i have to go camping with my family up at moto-x.....I have a horrible head ech and i'm sooo hungry!!!...i think i'm getting fat though... omg... i hate it... i think i'm gunna go on a diet.....tomarrow of course...lol but i'm gunna do crunches and stuff too...i need to get into shape for volleyball....ooo and yes i need to read... but i have a feeling thats not gunna work out...ebony left this morning...i wish she could have stayed longer i miss her already!!...Well i'm gunna get goin and get my stuff around for campin' (i'm gunna get eatin alive)....CYA! leave me somthing good...everyones doing it...peer pressure

~Celeste

*he loves me*

Ok... so today has been good so far....i had one of the best days with cody today...it was simple but i loved it...we played some b-ball and then went to the peir and then on our way back picked some black tops and then we came to my house and just talked and ate them....it just seemed so... perfect...i love being with him...so yes today was a good day...and now i'm off to go camping... me and my mom picked up a whole bunch of food...i guess its gunna be like 50 tonight so i brought my big blanket...lol maybe i'll have to sleep with my bros to keep warm bc i get cold REALLY easily...and there nine so dont be getting sick minded... but yes...its gunna be fun i got my bug spray, food and a pillow....i'm set to go! i'm going to bed EARLY...i need sleep so bad...i'm up on 3 hours of sleepi shouldnt be home until like 5?? bc i have to flag and make my easy $40....put a lime in the coconut....

*amazing*

~Celeste

Ok...so i went camping yesterday with my family...it was fun i guess... i havent really spent time with my family so this was a good change...ok... so i didnt get any bug bits... thats mostly bc i went a lil' bug spray happy.  So i helped with the fire and stuff and had to carrie wood to the fire place...blah... that was hard...but good for me...and we roasted marshmellows and made smores...i make a mean smore....so like i had to go pick out sticks and carve the ends so that you could stiff the marshmellow at the end of it...it got sooo cold at night too... and i was all cuddled up in my blankets that were drenched in bug repellent...lol then this morning i just didnt want to wake up...my neck muscles hurt either from the blow up bed or from lifting all that wood...but anyways...they called the flagers up to the tower and me and my mom headed out... and we flaged for like...4-5-6 hours then it was intermission...omg i came in and i was BURNT...like... Farmers tan! i was mad...but its ok.. i'm over it...my face is like red and my mom looks like a tomatoe.. lmao... poor thing...haha...oo and how i said i didnt get bit by any bugs... yeah well i got bit by like three bee type thingers... and they hurt so bad... one on my armpit, the other on my but and the last on my palm... they were in some random places...so anyways... i had fun... got tan... spent time with my family and got an easy $40....lol ok... now its time to brag about how awesome my brother did....omg.. you have no idea how proud i am of him!!... he was amazing...like...ok the first race he got the whole shot and won... and then the next race i hear his name... and i dont see him anywhere coming from the straight away from the gate...and so i'm like what the hell? wheres steven?? All these kids go by and i'm lookin for him and then he comes up and the kids are like so far down the track... so stevens in last place and then he like slowly reals them all in and then BOOM.... takes the lead... i was soo proud of him i was like jumpin up and down bein like... "thats my baby brother!!!" screamin for him with his nickname (t-bone) he's was so cute i was gunna cry thats how happy i was.. he really made me proud, but i mean you had to see it, it was just AMAZING!!! it got me all pumped up... and if your woundering what happened he got caught in the gate and then hit bike stalled so he had to restart it and everything... oo and in practice i thought "wow...he's gunna get screwed over today" bc i guess my dad did somthing to it and the gas wasnt on and stuff and so he got to the first turn and then ...... nothing.. it just stopped and we couldnt figure out what was wrong with it for a while...lol poor thing... i would have just givin up then and there, but nope not t-bone... he's like the train..."i think i can i think i can"...yeah the i think i can train...lol so yes were home now... i only got to see cody for like a half hour... not even...ok... so put this in the record book that i did not let go!!... this is the first time i wasnt the first to let go!...SHYEAH!... sry... but anyways...i had a good day i guess...i'm kinda grumpy bc i hurt and didnt get a good sleep... my family fell asleep watchin tv... my mom and dad on the coach and the boys on the floor....i guess i'm gunna be the only one in my bed tonight...lol its so cute though... ok yes i'm gunna go bc i talk WAY too much... i have soo much more to say but i'm tierd and you prolly wouldnt even be able to understand what i'm talking about... tomarrows july 4th and i dont have anything good planned...o well... i guess i'll just be a loner... well leave me somthing good!!!

~Celeste

*Every little thing that you do*

I'm upset...like i shouldnt be but i am... like i think about it and if i were to tell someone then they would just explain to me all the reasons why i shouldnt be... but i mean that still isnt gunna change how i feel....like idk...i'm kinda "upset" that i didnt get to see Cody very much on the 2nd.... then yesterday i only got to see him for less than half an hour....and now i'm not gunna be able to hang out with him at all today! This sucks ass... idk what to think... like so many things come to mind but i know they may not be on track and i also dont want to sound negitive... its just that... idk...i kinda feel like he doesnt want to be with me... or idk... i'm not so great anymore...or idk... i know it may not be true but thats just how i feel... i have absolutly nothing good to do today!... and i'm just so overly pissed that i dont get to see my boyfriend and just be bored... when i could be doing somthing....i guess i'm just gunna go  to my aunts and just sit around and listen to all the older ppl talk and watch the lil kids... awesome... then i guess i'm gunna come home and be bored and then go watch the fire works with my family...i know it doesnt sound bad but for me it is... i mean i had all this planned out in my head...how awesome it was gunna be... but i guess things just dont turn out the way you want them to...everything gets shot down...all my friends are going on the kayouga (spelling?) boat thing and so i planned not to go bc i wanted to spend time with cody... but that blew up in my face so i'm just gunna go scream in my pillow...leave me somthing

~Celeste

Ok...so today was ok i guess everything slowly came together and worked out at the end...I went down to the clute park and hung out with Hilary, Amy, and Kiki then we came here and hung out till about 730 and then we headed over to the clute park and i met cody there and then got somthing to eat....speaking of eating... i had hand caught fresh shrimp and Shark... like my uncle's parents or w/e went to florida and caught shrimp and shark... i think tasting shark would be the most amazing thing bc not alot of ppl eat it... and it wasnt bad... like it kinda tasted like chicken...lol i dont normally like fish but this stuff was good...so anyways... i saw the fireworks with a few friends and stuff and so were all here at kiki's chillin doin whatever...I'm in a really good mood right now like all day i was in a horriable mood.. but now i'm good... like idk... i guess i'm going through a phaze or PMS... either or... but i think thats why i've been so mad and pissy so easily... o well what are you gunna do?? Well put a lime in the coconut...

---HEY, Tell me what you think about michael jackson and if you think he really is guilty---

*You say it best when you say nothing at all*

~Celeste

Ok... today was a good day... i stayed at kiki's last night with Amy and Hilary... omg you guys are halarious!!!...I love hanging out with you guys!...So we all stayed up till 5 30 just talking about random stuff..."Are lips arn't sealed" "burrow" and more crazy stuff... o yes..."You cant trust someone you dont know" ...so yes... good times... and yes... the whole spider insident was descusting...lol i flipped out and like smaked my face like 20 times... no joke... lol... then i flicked it on kiki...lol o well... no worries...haha...So that was a good time and then this morning cody called me at like 8 and then i called him back to pick me up at the hotel so we could hang out at like 10 30...then i came home put some work out clothes on and then went to the gym with him but the gym was closed so me and cody went to the playground and just hung out like on the swings and stuff and talked... that was fun... then cody wanted to go to the movies at the mall...lol so we went to the mall and i got a corsett and a black dress for 31 dollars... thats pretty good...o and i got a pair of earings... so we went to the movies and watched Bewitched... it was good... not like OMG but it was good... i liked it...omg it rained so hard!... yeah... i like the rain... i really do... its so much fun to just play in...ok... that makes me sounds like a fag... but really...its so much fun...so yes...i had a good day...i wish i could spend more time with him but... ya...i cant always get what i want...

OK... idk why but i feel like bashing myself... just totaly putting myself down... ok so anyways..... I'm fat... i hate my stomach... its like buggin the hell out of me... i really want to be so beautiful...i know this sounds like totaly selfish or somthing ... but i want him to like... idk... give me all this attention...i need attention... and somtimes i feel like i'm just not good enought for attention..idk...i'm just like that...i think so unhighly of myself... i just think i can always be better...i hate my face!... i HATE IT... and i HATE my tummy... like idk...like i've been having fat days...like BLAH!...i cant stand how i look...i'm fed up with myself..and i'm feed up with so many things...i need to get this all out and i hope this makes me feel better...but ok... here it goes...i'm feed up not being able to go out as much...like idk..it bugs me... i got and award for each of my sports as well as keeping up my grades with at lest and 90 average all yeaar... and i am here for my family... i clean, i watch my bros...if i'm told to do somthing i do it... but when i want somthing... NO!... we blow up about it...like when i wanted to go to the mall today my dad was just like... w/e celeste..do w.e you want its your life... ya.... it is my fucking life...i'm a kid...you cant expect me to stay home every fucking day and watch YOUR kids....NO!... i didnt decide to have these kids and i didnt decide to have this resposibility...if your gunna have kids you need to watch them yourself and not have your DAUGHTER.... give up her life to take care of them...ok maybe i'm over exagerating with the life thing but i mean come on...my summer gets ruined every year bc i have to watch them...AHHHHH!!! Its like i'm getting punished and just screwed over for being the oldest!... I try so hard to keep what i have... to be what i am... to have the best and be then best... i cant even explain how hard i have worked to make me who i am today...i was seriously nothing...i have grown up and become sothing so much better somthing i should be proud of... but how can i be proud of myself when i feel like i'm getting punished for doing such things...i was in interact and the music club and all this stuff... and no... i'm older so i have all these responsibilitys...its just not far on me... i'm gunna be away  to college for 8 years and i have 3 years left of school...i need these 3 years to grow and do what normal teenagers do...ya know?? it just sucks ass so much that i get so much shit put on my shoulders... and i have to be the stroung one...i have to be the one to hold everything together...see all this had just make me think that i'm not enough...that nothing is good enough... and i cant be happy this way...this is all not fair to me at all!!!...AHHH!! And you know what else i cant stanf... my dad being an ass... he is the worst complainer in the fucking world...i want to yell at him... omg i feel it one of these days... OMG... last time i told him fuck you and he choked me up against the wall and board and the board broke... yeah... see i get treated like shit...i cant stand it!... I know i was sad about my parents splitting up... but you know what... my house just doesnt seem happy... i think thats effecting why i'm not happy... my dad needs to leave... he is a worthless picece of shit... i'm not kidding....my mom works 2 fucking jobs bc my dad cant keep a joke for 6 months... not even over exgagerating... he's a fucking screw up... and i am a good kid i really am and i dont deserve this...i need a father who is gunna be there for me and i need a father i can talk to... i need a father i can spend time with... i need a father that is worth somthing...he doesnt even work now... and its not that he gets fired its that he quites....AHHH!!!...DAMN IT!... And i just cant stand him anymore... his out burst to the tiniest things and his rude comments...like if we are watching a show and it has gay ppl in it or somthing he's like turn that shit off... or then if some one is being obnoxious...like as in that being there character he just says whatever is on his mind... what an ass....and then i'll be like dad...i'm trying to watch this...can you stop... and he'll just flip out and be like... no.. this is my house and my tv... FUCK YOU ITS YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR TV....your just freeloading off my mom!!....YA ASS HOEL DAMNIT!!!...i want to scream and tell him how worthless he is... but no...if i  say anything he'll just get up and leave and be like...ooo my children hate me... i'm just gunna leave...i'm a horrible father... i mean its cool he understands but then... a week later... ASSHOLE!!!... he doesnt change! ...well i think thats enough... i'll write later... i prolly spelt like so many things wrong... but hey... i'm over it... put a lime in the coconut

~Celeste

*Ha*

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart

Without saying a word, you can light up the dark

 Try as I may I could never explain

What I hear when you don't say a thing.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me

There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall

You say it best, When you say nothing at all.

All day long I can hear people talking outloud

But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd

Old Mr. Webster could never define

What's being said between your heart and mine.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me

 There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall

You say it best, when you say nothing at all.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me

 There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall

You say it best, when you say nothing at all...

^Look cody... its our song!!!... i love you

40 Things guys should know about girls...

1) You have to tell a girl how you feel because we never think positively

2) It never hurts to work out...no girl likes to hold on to fat.

3) Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.

4) Most of us like porn too.

5) Saying something sweet might get you off the hook but Doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

6) Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive.

7) We think about you ALOT more then you think we do.

8) Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.

10) We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis. (haha )

11) Hold our hands as much a possible.

12) Girls don't always hate giving head, but you better be thankful if and when you get it.

13) We are not your all-night restaurant.

14) Anything we say or do during that 4-7days each month cannot be held against us.

15) If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...

16) We also think about having threesomes!

17) You look hot in hoodies...its just a fact...

18) Having us over while you and your friends play video games does not count as "quality time".

19) Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis does not mean we're "high maintenance".

20) Never comment on how much a girl eats...ever.

21) Keep in mind that we withhold sex when we're mad at you, so you might wanna get around to apologizing...

22) A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

23) The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid.

24) We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot...get over it...

25) Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.

26) If you're developing such good finger skills playing your video games...you better put them to good use.

27) Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about we will always find out!!!

28) If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.

29) The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable...we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying. (practice at home boys!)

30) On that note: if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them.

31) Not all girls kiss on the first date...we're creatures of mystery.

32) We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer every once in a while.

33) Tell us we're beautiful everyday

34) The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest.

35) Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...its a given

36) Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you.

37) No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits."

38) We're sensitive ...be gentle (and we're not just talking about our hearts here guys).

39) One word when it comes to smoking = quit.

40) We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.

wow..cody has all this already down....he amazes me!!!...I mean... Almost everything!...we 32 he overdoes...lol i love you baby!...i'm so fricken lucky...and so happy to have you!

~Celeste

There's nothing really to say bc like idk.. nothin big has happened. Just little things ya know... like goin to the waterfalls with cody, playin 2 on 1 with my lil bros... (there both 9... and i won!!...3 to 4) you have no idea how hard it is to play with them on you...lol my house is so messy... ewww...lol i think i should go pick up... its so hard to keep the house clean with twin boys... blah...and it really doesnt help with having a house as big as mine...mmmmm well i'm over it... i think i'm gunna get to cleaning.. ooo and i had to say...lol i got this new stuff for my hair so that its not frizzy... and like idk...i'm really hoping it works bc... well just bc.... lol i do like to look good somtimes....lol leave somthing good... i'm gunna try putting quizzes on this thing and try to really keep it updated bc i have SO much time on my hands now that everyone is away working, at camp...or on vacation...(I'll be on vacation next month!)... ok i'm done

~Celeste

*Hunny you, are my shinning star*

lol i'm such a retard!... how do you deal with me?!

Just gunna see if i got this... dont mind my screw-up-ness....

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wow... my pics are huge!!!

OK since i got this down... i'll put some pics from my trip to fl. in here... enjoy!

Ok... so... i would put more pics. on but my computer is just full of gayness right now... and extremly slow...so your just gunna have to hold your breath.....i'm juuuuuuuuuuuust kidding... you'd die doin that...but you can cross your fingers for me...thats always nice(wink face)... ooo and i cant seem to have my faces come up like they do on everyelses thinger so i'm gunna take the easy way out and do the perenctheses, and i'm sure i spelt that totaly wrong and i'm to laxy to correct it so i'll just show you.... ( ) those thingers... so yes... have fun with my blog... madiuqdeifitnedi: bloggin is addictive ...haha... so true craver!...thats why i'm writing..instead of being addicited to tv or drugs or w/e...i'm addicted to bloggage...lol but thats just me... so we know thats a lil wierd... and if you havent noticed i'm talking out of my ass so bad...lol but hey... its working for me... so anyways...i went to the movies to see batman and it was fricken awesome...very good movie... and i'm like a movie critic bc i've seen like all the movies so... i'm tellin ya this ones 2 thumbs up...if i had more i put them up but i'm only human...some ppl dont agree with that... but hey...i'm over it... ok well I love cody and he is so amazing and all that really good stuff... leave me somthing good...sil vous plait!...aka... please...to all the nonfrenchise ppl "its gunna be fun!"

*Cody your amazing...i cant even explain the feelings i have for you and i have a awesome feeling were gunna be together for a VERY VERY long LONG long time!....*

~Celeste

oook... so i havent spent alot of time with my friends latly...i havent even heard from them...i miss them!!!... but hey...i'm over it...i guess there just doin other things...i wont be able to hang out much this week bc i will be off the hookly busy starting monday....i'm going to a volleyball camp in horseheads...it should be alot of fun...i guess Sheena,Michaela, Sarah,and them are all goin too so thats gunna be pretty interesting...its from 5-9 and starts monday in horseheads....sooo i'm gunna be well occupied...lol today will prolly be the last day i can spend the night some where for a while...o well...i love volleyball...it's the fricken bitch... no joke...i may be short... but i can ALMOST touch the net... and i dont think i'm too bad...ya theres ppl better then me but i dont suck...i think i'm just...ok... but i want to be the bomb...lol...Well thats enough of that...i think i'm gunna get going and try to gather up things to fill up my day....ooo and i had to show you my cat... i thought this was the most halarious thing.... isnt my kitty so cute?? lol she's a retard but i love her... i mean i'm a retard too and you know what they say....ya know...lol well i'm gunna go and do somthing... if you wanna do anything call me ... PLEASE!!!!...i'm SOOO BORED!...i mean i can deal but it would be nice to see you guys..the ones i havent hung out with in forever!

~Celeste

*YOU R SOMTHIN'*

Tell me... do i have chinese lookin eyes?? ppl say i do... but i dont see it....

Ok...so today was pretty good...i got to spend time with cody...i really love just laying with him and just talking about everything...were both such crack heads so we just have random convo's...lol but its all good...i never get bored...its so nice to have someone like him...someone who i can talk to about anything bc seriously...i cant trust anyone...i really cant...no one is real anymore...like there are some ppl i know are real...but i dont know them enough to trust them... ya know? Like i kinda wish i had a girl that i could talk to about things...ya know?? Tell secrets and trust her...idk... i guess i'm gunna have to wait and find someone...o well...it just kinda sucks to have to hold all the things in and not be able to share it with someone...i just really wish i could find some one to trust...but hey...i'm over it...at lest i'll know for sure ppl wont be gossiping about me if they dont know anything...all they can do is asssume...lol w/e... there is alot of things i tell cody...and i really trust him...i dont think i've ever trusted anyone as much as i do him...thats good i'm hoping...so anyways... i hung out with cody and he brought me black caps!!!...there like those black rasberries...lol i call them black caps...lol anyways... so yes i thought that was really sweet bc i love those and then we went to cullens and cullen was sleeping...lol so we all just went swimming anyways at his house....i just think its so funny bc he complained to me yesterday that his friends hate him and then they come over and just go swimmin and the whole time this is going on he's sleeping..lol it was Me, Cody, Sammy, Aaron, Aaron, Steven, and Sharaff(dont know his first name... think its josh)...so anyways... yeah that was fun...the water was sooo nice me and cody swam out really far on this lil blow up thinger and i kept falling off bc i'm a retared and i do stuff like that...then we had to come in bc cody was cold and a pussy....i'm kidding....well about the cold part...lol juuuuuuuust kidding...i was kidding about the pussy part...so anyways...we dropped them all off at aarons and then me and cody went to his house and watched a movie and cuddled and talked...i already mentioned that...it was fun...lol so yes...then he brought me home and i slammed my fricken camera in the fricken car door!...lol i bent it...but hey... it still works...ok... well thats enough i'm done...answer my first question bc i would really like to take a poll on this...lol

~Celeste

*You....yes...you!*

Ok...today was very long!!!...ok just kidding....i went to bed at 2 somthing last night...and then this morning i wake up to my dad screaming... celeste get you your appointment is at 8 30...yeah...guess what time it was... 8 30...so i got up and walked out of the door...didnt even change...lol...so yeah...then i came home and just sat on the couch and stared at some random things and then got on the computer and the cody surprised me...omg i was sooo happy to see him!! i like ran to him and like jumped...lol yeah...like a rabbit bitch...lol jkin...lol well sorta so yes...then we hung out and then he left and i got ready for volleyball...then he surprised me again lol and then i headed over to horseheads and did my thing for 4 hours...lol i didnt come home till about 9 30...aaaahhh...so i'm tierd...it was so much fun though...i kinda made new friends...lol so yes...omg i'm gunna hurt so bad tomarrow...you wait...i feel it!! You'll be hearin about it tomarrow...ok well i'm out...i have to talk to my baby and then go to bed...leave me an awesome comment!!!

~Celeste

*bbbbaaabbbyyyy*

OOO man...i'm tierd...i woke this morning again to my dad...celeste,cody's here...awesome..lol i was excited to see cody...but i was in my sports bra and shorts...haha...i wok up at like what? 10...and went to bed at what? 12...last night... or shall i say this morning..yeah... so i have like and hour and 30 mins till i have to go to volleyball camp and i'm tierd and i hurt...I TOLD YOU!!...lol yeah my serving arm hurts so bad...we did these jump serves...that was mad hard..i tell you...and oo we had to set... haha you have no idea what i look like when i set...its rather funny...but i didnt do to bad..and like you had to set three times like middle, outside and then setter and past it over to the other side and then they do it and as there doin that we have to rotate and on the thrid set the person that sets it 3rd has to jump set...so...yah...i did pretty good for how horrible i set...i was kinda proud of myself...so anyways...it was fun..but omg...its sooo tiering...i want to just pass out right now...i'm exhasted!!!..blah...yeah so... anyways...i got bad news...AARON HAD SEX WITH CODY!!!...lol so that sucks..haha...i always new it was like that...yeah...i'm so weak...i really am..i cant really hold myself up...so...this practice is gunna be torcher so i dont think i'm gunna be getting on later...just call cody and talk to him and then go straight to bed...i need sleep!..it's so damn hot outside!!...i want to go swimming...buuuut i cant...so that sucks lol...o well i'm over it...i think i'm just gunna go lie on the couch for a lil bit and wait for my ride...but hey...i still feel like writing...i'm bored...and i want to see all my firends...i feel like i have so much to do and so lil time...i have barly seen my mom at all...i saw her for only 2 mins. today...and yesterday i saw her for an hour...and when i get home i MIGHT see her for an hour if she stays up and tomarrow i wont only see her for an hour...thats if she stays up...like...she goes to work till 5 and sometimes she has 2 jobs. and so if she works twice i wont even see her until the next night...so she works till 5 and i leave at 4 15, and i come home at 9 and she goes to bed around there... and sometimes... she works till 5 then 5-9 or others till 5 and then 11pm to 11 am...so she will be sleeping all day... so i barly get to see her.. this sucks ass!!!..i love you my mom!...i can barly see cody either...bc he works in the mornings and thats when i i can see him... so i only get to see him for like an hour all together...and i have to plan my b-day party...and i have to watch my bros...till i leave and clean and stuff and omg i'm so full and then after this on friday i have to go to the movies with craver to see a movie..i think its charlie and the chocolate factory...(whats the difference between willy wonka and charlie?..i mean the movie names?) and then me vanessa and cody and matt are gunna chill prolly sat. and then sunday...i'll sleep forever...lol then monday i wanted to chill with margie or somthing bc i havent seen her in forever... and i wanted to chill with a few other ppl...so wow...i've got things to look forward to...o on sunday i'm prolly gunna have to help my bros paint there room...and i might have vinnie up on sat. so yes... fun filled week...hmmm...what else to write... not sure...ok these are my ideas for me and margies sweet 16!

• Ok...we were gunna have it at logan ridge but i was thinking we should do it somewhere with like water and stuff...so maybe idk...clute park...rent out that pavilian...and stuff... bc its gunna be hot and i'm sure ppl would like to play some b-ball and go swimming...so i'm not sure...
• Food...cant forget food!... lots and lots of food!...like coolers of soda and bags of chips and a few cases of pizza...and more...idk..just a whole bunch
• music loud loud music
• and like a whole bunch of ppl... like even random ppl that we barly know...i mean that we know but i mean even if they arent like close friends...i want it to be huge!!!!!
• The cake...oooo the cake....A HUGE FRICKEN CAKE!...like as big as you can get it....lol i really want to go all out!... everything has to be BIG!....lol
• Decorations....LOTS AND LOTS OF DECORATIONS!!!...i was thinking maybe have like a theme to it...ya know?? have like streamers and stuff....hmmmmm....yeah
• and still thinking....

If you have any ideas or whatever tell me... ok?? O and i'm not exactly sure what day i'm gunna put it on... like...i'm goin on vac in august bc i dont know when...maybe at the end of this month...but it seems to short of notice bc like to get everything and deck everything out......and still plan it...so yes... tell me what you think...i dont have much time to think myself and it would be awesome to have some input...

~Celeste

*I miss you so bad!!!*

So, Today is the last day of volleyball camp...i'm kinda sad but happy at the same time....it just really takes up alot of my time...i mean 5-9?? come on!...thats like the time to do stuff....so anyways...my days have just been about the same do w/e until about 4 and then come home after v-ball and call cody...so i need to do something diffrent soon... it kinda seems like alot has changed...not as in a good way either...i've been kind of grumpy...i think i really just need to get away from this house and do SOMETHING FUN!!!! well i hope next week will be better.....

Relient k, Be my escape

I’ve given up on giving up slowly
I’m blending in so you won’t even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention
It’s my one last shot at redemption
Cause I know to live you must give your life away

And I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m going because…

I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape

I’ve given up on doing this alone now
Guess I failed and I’m ready to shown now
You told me the way and now I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m going because…

I gotta get out of here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake (yeah)
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can’t ask you to give what you already gave.

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
That might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m going because…

I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here

*Cody, i love you so much i'm sry if i've been acting like a bitch to you i dont mean to. And i hate to do that to you and you take it so well, i love you for that . Just the fact that you put up with me. You are my everything and more than i ever deserve...Dont ever think you are not good enough and dont blam my actions on yourself...its not worth it and it just makes it worse...i know you try to help but its somthing i have to figure out and deal with myself...i love you so much cody and i miss you! Your my one and only, baby!*

~Celeste

Pretty damn pissed... its funny how someone can say...ooo i miss you so much but then when you have somthing planned they just blow it off... so screw it i'm gunna go chill with vanessa!

~Celeste

*I wish*

hello fellow readers,

my name is celeste shaffer and i am writing this entry to express my undying love for my dear friend vanessa. thank you come again

~Celeste

Ok...so i havent really wrote much latly....so here it goes

Friday, Me, Cody, Vanessa, and Matt all went to the movies to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"...omg the ompas are so funny! We saw Amy, Hilary, Katie, Margie, Craver and them....then we all headed up to my house and then drove down to get some ice cream...lol we all got cotton candy besides vanessa bc she is abnormal and got chocolate! what a loser!...lol i'm juuuuuuuust kidding... yeah so then we came home and me and vinnie chilled and talked about stuff...ya know.. i lil catching up....(in bed)(Just kidding)(or am i?)

Today, well me and vanessa woke up a lil early and then cody came over and we all hung out...we got to drive cody's truck...haha...well ya know...so anyways cody had to leave... duh... and then me and vanessa went for a walk...omg that was the most interesting walk i've ever been on....lol as soon as we walk like down the street we get whisled at....then we saw 3 lotus's...NICE CARS! then we this like face thing suctioned to the window...lol funny stuff... then we saw a boob!... not even kidding.... like we were walking and like there was this girl in her car on the passangers seat and so were like oo haha... and vanessa goes... omg did you see that... and i was like... A BOOB!? and she goes haha omg... ithis girl like took off her shirt or w/e in the  car and was sitting in the passangers seat and you could just see her boob like near the window... omg... lmao i was like i looked like she was cold...haha it was just.. omg not somthing you see everyday while taking a stroll threw town...i guess i learned my lesson... never look into cars while walking...lol naaaaaa...its too much fun....yeah so anyways... we came back here and vanessa went to brads party and then she's gunna come to my house tomarrow at 7 and were gunna go "running"...lol..wish us luck! then cody came over to my house and surprised me!!!... aww... i love him!...then after that me and my mom sat down and watched a movie together..."Murder by number"... it think thats what its called... but it was good!...i liked it... so anyways... yes it was good to spend time with my mom... i mean we really havnt had time for it...i really love you mom... and it just sucks not being able to see her...well i think i'm gunna go and do somthing... put a lime in the coconut..."its gunna be fun"

*I'm stund with amazment*

~Celeste

Man, i think i'm getting fat!!!...yeah, and i say this while eating...maybe i should just stop

Wow....its so crazy how many accsidents i can recall that have happened here in watkins...with our teenagers...so much...its like every year some one in our school has to die...or at lest get hurt...i wounder if i'm gunna have to put up with a loss of someone i was so close with... like these are ppl i knew but not extremly close with...i just couldnt imaging it happening...i dont think i would be able to take it...death is just such a horriable thing. Why does it have to be that way? ya know? why is death so full of sadness and just everything bad?...i know that came out dumb but i dont know how to put it...its just hard to say my question... like in a way we make death what it is...we see it as this thing...this horriable thing... painful thing... and really... we dont even know what its like...no one can describe it...all we can do is assume...i'm sure it hurts... but why does it have to hurt...why does it have to turn out this way?idk...i just think its wierd...one of those things...and i mean no one deserves to die...and no one can be alive forever...but i mean... why not... why are things what they are? i know we all see things totaly different... and like death can be seen diffrenetly to diffrent ppl...i think its wierd how ppl see things diffrently also...but i know everyone see's things differntly, hears things diffrently, understands things diffrently (my assumsion is that we have been through diffrent things at dif. points) so tell me how you see it...everyone is diffrent

^i said differnt/differntly 10 times...lol wow

*I had so much fun today!...i love you*

~Celeste

>>I'm craving chinese!<<

Everything seems to be coming back to haunt me again!...what the hell... can't i do anything right?

~Celeste

*Sry, its just i want to get it right this time*

I am a wierd person... like i get into these moods when i'm just talking right out of my ass...i get like a burst of energy...like you really have no idea...margie... you know!... and willis...and vanessa... and all you guys!...lol whoa...i'm just like a very looney person...i look at myself and think...wow...she kinda looks stuck up... but thats really not at all...i act like THE biggest fag sometimes...i would also say i'm a pretty friendly person...volleyball...i cant wait till volleyball....when i'm with sarah and hannah....omg...i laugh at myself so hard i could wet myself! and the funny thing is...i know how much of an idiot i'm making of myself! sry to change subject but luck of the irish is like one of my favorite movies...i'm no irish fellow...but its interesting...

Party thinger...thats done with... me and margie arnt gunna have it together bc other things are going on... so i'm gunna do it with vinnie instead...i mean our parents know eachother better anyways...so yes...house is on bitches... just wanted to say my last words...I MISS YOU GUYS!!!....SAM...WILLIS...HILARY...KIKI (got to write her) and VANESSA AND SOPHIE AND KATIE... and just everyone else!!!!!!

~Celeste

I am a wierd person... like i get into these moods when i'm just talking right out of my ass...i get like a burst of energy...like you really have no idea...margie... you know!... and willis...and vanessa... and all you guys!...lol whoa...i'm just like a very looney person...i look at myself and think...wow...she kinda looks stuck up... but thats really not at all...i act like THE biggest fag sometimes...i would also say i'm a pretty friendly person...volleyball...i cant wait till volleyball....when i'm with sarah and hannah....omg...i laugh at myself so hard i could wet myself! and the funny thing is...i know how much of an idiot i'm making of myself! sry to change subject but luck of the irish is like one of my favorite movies...i'm no irish fellow...but its interesting...

Party thinger...thats done with... me and margie arnt gunna have it together bc other things are going on... so i'm gunna do it with vinnie instead...i mean our parents know eachother better anyways...so yes...house is on bitches... just wanted to say my last words...I MISS YOU GUYS!!!....SAM...WILLIS...HILARY...KIKI (got to write her) and VANESSA AND SOPHIE AND KATIE... and just everyone else!!!!!!

~Celeste

ok... so yesterday i went on a picnic with cody and we walked all the way down to the bottom of the water falls... or shall i say climbed...lol extreme hikage! but it was really nice....our picnic consisted of chocolate and strawberrys, gatorade and ice...lol yeah...i got really muddy...then i talked to cody's mom... that was kinda scary....i'm really afriad of her...lol so anyways... on to today...cody came over and we took the boy's to the pool and stayed for like ever...omg i got fricken burnt as hell!...it fricken itches!...soooo my g-ma is comin tomarrow for our "Dunbar's family reunion"...i've never been to one...and they are all geeks on my mom's side...haha...like for real...there stuck in the past...with like the geek look... glasses...short shorts....the shirt... the whole thing... not even kidding!...soo thats saterday....a day with the geeks...ooo and i'll take pictures...you'll see....yaaaaaaaa...i bet your all excited now!...lol ok... so yes...i hurt like hell!... after i took my bros home me and cody went to hang out at his house...i love his lil puppy!...its so little and omg..haha...its name is bandit... but cody calls it franklin...it's his sisters...lol but yeah...i was playin with him...he's like a big fur ball!...haha i tripped bc i was runnin with it and it like attacked me!...lol and sampson...ooo sampson...he's a big ol' dog...he's HUGE he's like a fricken bear!...a big ass bear! i wanted to like sit on him as he was walking but he getting old...he's like what?...16? yeah... so anyways...fun day...very tiering...and hurtful...i hurt so bad!...i feel like a piece of meat after its been beaten...lol thats kinda gross but you get what i mean..so anyways...i'm out...if anyone wants to do anything call me...in the words of ebony...thank you, come again!

~Celeste

*That was close!*

DirtyGerman004: i was at the pool today and this lil boy went streaking it was the funniest thing
DirtyGerman004: he was like what?? 4, 5
s10man2007: lol
DirtyGerman004: he took off his shorts and was swinging them around... walking around with nothing on acting like everything was normal
DirtyGerman004: everyone just started laughing
DirtyGerman004: haha
DirtyGerman004: ooo and then i saw amish...that was funny shit
s10man2007: lol u were checkin him out wernt u micheal
DirtyGerman004: ???
s10man2007: micheal jackson
DirtyGerman004: oooooo
DirtyGerman004: lol
DirtyGerman004: o yes
s10man2007: lol
DirtyGerman004: i wanted to tap that
s10man2007: k thats def blog material
DirtyGerman004: yeah i know

^sooo i put it in....haha didnt feel like retyping it.....

omg and the amish...they were at the diving pool...me and cody were watching them... it was halariouse.... and when they got out...there butt cracks would show...omg...funny shit right there!!

~Celeste

*Only you can make me feel the way that i do!*

Alright...so my f-ing camra died so i couldnt take pictures...it was being like REALLY STUPID!...i guess slamming it in the door and then dropping it down the stairs didnt help to much or smashing it on the floor...but w/e it can be stupid like that if it wants...so anyways...yesterday i stayed at margs with katie and jm, jonny nash, and andy were there too...after them 3 left we just hung out and talked about things... but we found out somthing that happened that we didnt quite agree with...i'm not gunna say...bc they know...i just think its so stupid and that makes them freaky...hopfully they will get the hint that they should quit the shit bc its not cool at all...makes me want to shoot myself!...ok so anyways... back to the good ol' times...so yes... we watched this really gross movie...American History X....ooooooomg...horriable...it made me so mad! i just wanted to jump in there and kick the shit out of them bc it just annoys me that they cant understand what there doing and what it looks like...blah..ok so i laughted... just like there's scense when they try to get it all emotional and its in slow motion...haha i crack up...we didnt go to bed untill like 2 30 3 o'clock where we just kinda feel asleep...i was trying so hard to stay up to watch team america but i just couldnt do it!..so i woke up and got ready for my reunion today...o my...boring shit...me and my cuz courtney just kinda like sat on the swing set and was watching this haybarrel thinger..its so interesting...it like gets all this hay...and then POP...out comes a haybarrel....haha...ok maybe its just me...after that stuff we went all the way back to NY and went to my cuz for our own lil picnic thinger and went swimming and stuff...i'm kinda sad bc i havent really gotten to talk to cody bc he had work all day and said he wouldnt be home till 2am...so that sucks...i only got to talk to him for like 20mins. this morning..i didnt really get to talk to him much yesterday bc he went camping....so...i'm not sure if he misses me but i sure as hell miss him!...i know this sounds bad but i kinda forgot what he looks like...lol...is that bad? damn...ok well i'm gunna get going and see if i can get ahold of him just to hear him...leave me somthing!

~Celeste

*Do you miss me like i miss you?*

OK...i'm pissed off...Cody said ooo i'll call you when i wake up whenever that is...well yeah fuckin right!...seriously this pisses me off this isnt the first time this has happened so ya know what...i'm gunna give up...fuck it!...If you say your gunna do somthing you fuckin do it...dont ditch a person and hang out with someone else...exspecaily if you havent really seen them and you say...ooo i miss you so much celeste...bull fuckin shit...when some one pulls somthing like this it makes me feel like everything else they have ever said to me has been bull shit!...so you know what? Fuck it i dont care....yeah... i just wont give a damn..screw it i'm done!

~Celeste

*Here we go again, i thought with you it would be diffrent*

Alrighty... so plans... Hil, Sam and Amy are all comin up to my house and were gunna go to the movies at 9 to see "Bad News Bears"....heard its good!...and then we gunna crash here for the night...sounds good? good...lol so i'll have to write later about are amazing night!...lol...leave somthing good!

~Celeste

Ok... so God damn sam(tity cruncher) and Willis the penis (willy) stayed over the other night and we all went to the movies with cody and travis....then us girls came here and chilled and didnt go to sleep till like 3...

TODAY!...today was the best....omg...ok so sam left early and then we all eventually meet up... walked to sams dock and then waited for the boys to come get us...it was sam, travis, me, cody, amy, and steven all on this boat...it was fun...we went tubing and i went first..omg ok i have never been on a boat in the water b4 to all of this was totaly new for me...so i get on.. omg that was scary....lol i didnt have much to hang on to so i was scared...lol....but it was really fun...then willis went and then cody went water boarding..??lol idk...forgot what its called so anyways...and so did travis...and then sam when knee boarding... lol so yeah... it was a good time...after i think about it....i dont think steven did anything...lol ok well....anyways....lol then we went over to clute park and parked there and just like swam around... well cody got stevens kyeka (cant spell) and me and cody went on it and i got to do it...it was really fun...i enjoyed it..lol then we went swimming a little then just hung out...so yeah... then we came back and everyone whent there own ways and me and cody....being our 2 month anniversary went to go get ready for our lil date....lol we went to olive garden and omg...he got me 2 dozen roses!!! awww i thought it was so cute and he wrote me a note too...aww i love him....then our plan was to go to his house and watch the stars as we ate our dessert...but that didnt work out...lol so yeah...will do that later...i'm not sure what were doing tomarrow..in a way i feel like i'm doing to much and am afriad to ask my parents bc i dont want a neg. answer...its just easier for me to say no myself then asking my parents and getting a no...lol so yeah...but i want to get together with some ppl maybe go to peach orchird and go swimmin....lol yeah...i think were gunna do that...well i'm not sure but i guess we'll find out in the morning... i'll write later!....i just wanted to tell you about my awesome day!...it was so much fun!

*This has to be love....bc if it isnt i dont know what is*....I LOVE YOU CODY!

~Celeste 

OK so today should be good... a bunch of us are going to Smith Park.....damn summer is getting fun again!

~Celeste

*I dont think i could love you anymore than i do right now*

Alright so The whole swimming in smith park didnt work out...so me and cody just chilled and went swimming a clute park instead....o well still a good time...i really miss cuddling with him...yeah....so i forgot to mention i wished on a shooting star last night....i have never seen one!...i was a good wish too....lol well i'm gunna get going... i think i'm gunna keep it on the down low for a while till friday bc i think me, vanessa, cody and matt and maybe some other ppl are gunna chill...well leave me somthing....its worth it...trust me

~Celeste

*I WANT TO CUDDLE!*

I went for a walk today...it was ok i guess... i walked/ran the cemetery....i saw jon fazzary too...lol...i thought that was the funniest thing... i mean really its not everyday you see someone you know there...lol i thought i was gunna be alone... so yeah... i walked it and i really got thinking...thought alot about diffrent things... like is this who i want to be?  Am i doing things right?... idk just things...questioning life....i mean when your amoung the dead it sure puts things in a diffrent persective for you...and when i was there i came across this big one and it kinda looked like a big monument so i was rather couriouse to see what was so important about it...and so i read it...it said somthing like this man died in texas fighting to save citizens or somthing like that and i was just amazed... i mean to think that there are really ppl out there like that...and it just got to me... god did put us on this earth for a reason...its not to sit around and do nothing ... or make no effort to anything in your life...its to be the best you can be...try diffrent things and to push yourself...i mean you dont need to go jumping into a fire and save anyone...or even make a diffrence... just be the best you can be... thats all he wants us to do... you dont have to go to church and commit yourselfs to it... and ppl that are so overly obcessed with church are just wasteing there time...thats not what he wants us to do... spend our entire life in a church when we could be out in the world doing somthing and makeing somthing of ourselfs...its nice to pray once in a while and go to church but i mean to dedicate yourselfs so heavenly to it...no...i'm sry if i offend anyone... this is just my opinion.... but i mean...really? do you think thats what he wants?? well i guess ppl see things dif. so yeah... this just really go me thinking...i'm getting older and things are changing....everythings just changing...and i just question myself...have i made and impact on anyone... have i helped someone... am i a good person...is this what i want to look back on and say who i am... am i proud of who i am??? just a whole bunch of questions like that...i guess its just the idea of death that makes you want to live life to the fullest...and i think everyone should...be the best person you can be...go out of your way to do things... dont just take the easy way out, it just makes you a weaker person....and just try... try to be somthing and if you dont succed.... then you can at lest say you tryed giving all you could...so, tell me what are you gunna do with your life? You never know when your time is coming to an end...

~Celeste

*Wow...loss of words... i love you so much baby!*

Damn...i'm getting so fusterated right now...but i'm just gunna bit my tongue and take it...lol i guess thats just what you have to do somtimes...

Have you ever cryed so hard that you felt like your heart was actually breaking??

So yeasterday i went to the mall with cody and aaron and met up with some ppl to watch "Wedding Crashers" but it turned out that you had to be at lest 18 to get in bc it was rated R...lol soo cody came up with this genius plan to get a ticket for a movie that was like around the same time and go into wedding crashers...lol i always knew he was smart! i had my doughts...but man.. he impresses me sometimes... god damn i love him!....so yeah we watched the movie and then me and cody left to get somthing to eat bc we were starving...lol then my mom called and was just exteremly pissed that i wasnt home...ooops...it was like 10 30 when i got home and when i got home i just got bitched out...after that i just went upstairs and cryed and my mom came in to speak with me...it was mostly my dad being an ass...and idk...my mom talked to be and it kinda made things better...and i talked to my dad too...so i guess everythings ok...i am a really bad mood crasher... for real...lol i was crying and stuff bc it seemed like my parents didnt want me to be with him saying that "i spend too much time with him and i'm only 15"...so i went to huge my mom while i was crying like extremly hard and i like choked on her hair...lmao...it was halariouse...but hey...what can i say...mood crashing is a gift...comes with clumsyness...kinda like i feel uo the stairs and totaly mad an ass out myself trying to be cool...but hey... as long as i'm having fun being a faget i'm cool with it...ok well i totaly lost my concentration on this bc i'm haveing awesome convo. makin deals bitches...lol ok...well this is getting a lil pointless so sry for wasting your time...

ooo yeah... and today i actually hung out with my family... we played 2 on 2 football...me and my bros and my dad... well cya

~Celeste

*I hate not being able to hug you!*

Ok so havent written in a while to this is gunna be kinda long...lol i'll try to some it up for you... so yesterday me,katie,vanessa,and Hilary stayed the night at Margs...after we went to the hector fair of course...lol When we got to margs we just drank drank drank...omg i've never drank so much...if i had one more man...ooo lord...but yeah...so i was doing fine ya know...and we drank from like 12-4 30am...lol...not much sleep...i woke up and was like... i'm good i'm good...stood up and like omg...i had to puke...i have never been to the point were i had to puke...lol so that was weird...still kinda feeling it...last night was funny though...i was such a fag... we were like danceing and drinking and peeing and all that fun stuff...lol and like all i can remember is how clumbsy i was...lol i kept hitting my face on things...like i would laught and margs bar has this ledge thinger and like i went to laugh and i put my head down and WACK!...i hit my chin and then again my head and the i ran into vanessa and like fell over...and then i went to drink my shit and it hit my teeth like really hard...i guess i just dont know my own strangth when i'm drunk...lol but the funny thing was i could walk in a straight line... what can i say...i'm just fricken good like that...lol ok well shall we move on....

I hung out with cody and he picked me up and we headed over to aarons and then waited for all them to recooperate...and then they headed to the fair and me and cody went to his house to get everything ready...ok so this is where i'm really gunna get into this... just alot of thought i need to get out...well it just seems like alot of things are missing between me and cody...or maybe its not even that...i dont know...just i cant help but just cry...and when i cry i just think about cody...so it has to involve him...and its not like he makes me cry...just idk...it seems like there's just somthing missing... or somthing that was there not there anymore...i cant seem to put my finger on it....like i feel like i spend little time with him now...like he's just so busy and were just in two diffrent worlds... but its weird bc i cry when i'm with him so that i just dont understand...i really want to know why...it all started when my mom and dad yelled at me...i just havent felt the same since...in a way i feel like somthing is coming and i can just sense it...somthing bad...like idk...i really hope not...AHH... i hate everything...i hate leaving cody...i hate taking him away from his friends...i hate parents having to know everything...i hate not having the stregth...i hate not being able to explain myself...i just hate it...hate it all...just so much...AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!....somthing is wrong with me...i dont know what...why am i acting like this? why do i feel this way? who knows...i dont want anything to happen between me and cody... but idk what it is... i could spend all day with him and i still wouldnt be satisified...maybe thats it...i'm just not satisfied with somthing...i think i need more loving idk....more reconization...but really...for what?? Idk what to do with myself...i'm going crazy and should be locked in the looney bin!!!...well i think i'm gunna go cry or what not...i dont know what else to do with myself and i cant seem to stop it...leave some good things to cheer me up!

>addition~ maybe i'm upset because things dont seem to be working out...like i can have an amazing night but it dosent come without somthing difficult...maybe i'm selfish and i just cant stand not having things the way i would like to see them work out...idk...everything just seems so difficult now...prolly more than it needs to be<

~Celeste

*I cant lose you...thats to much of a lose...i cant ever let go!*

No one is happy who does not think himself so.

That would be in my fourtune cookie...^

Ok well, today was good i guess i went to travis's party till about 5 15 and we played volleyball and just hung out...Then i headed over to my anuts and we had a lil family get together since my grandma is leaving soon...My mom is like buzzed lol its so funny...she gets a lil weird..haha.. guess it runs in the family...well that was short and simple i could write about the bad moments but i'm just gunna screw it bc i dont want to get worked up again...well leave somthing good...

~Celeste

*1-2-3 strikes your out*

I would like to take the time to write that...it makes me sad that no one leaves a lil comment... just a hi...or bye or even a "hey how ya doin" would full fill my fantasy...so be a trooper and tickle my fantasy's with sex filles comments...thank you...come again

P.S. I'M JUST KIDDINGGGGGGGGGG

~Celeste

*OOOO BOY!*

Ok...sooo...yesterday i got kidnapped by my cousins lol...that was fun...then i hung out with cody vinnie and matt and steve...then me and vanessa got ice cream and on our way this family van stops and like looks like its on highdrolics or what not and i was like holy shit and then we peer in and its matt...haha...what dork...so that freaked me out...and then this morning me and vanessa got up at 6 15 and headed to the weight room and ya know....and then i had my PAPS test....ooooo boy...what a interesting experience...haha...kinda awkard...lol so yes...and then i got to see cody for about an hour or so today which kinda sucked but i hope i can see him a lil later...i kinda feel bummbed bc it seems like i kinda got bitched at by some ppl the other night on line and stuff sooo idk...dumb reasons...i guess i just dont have a good way of explaining myself...but w/e so yes...interesting day...kinda tierd only like 5 hours of sleep...well have a fun day and tickle my fantasy....you know you wanna.... again 

~Celeste

*BBBAAABBY!*

Well...today was fine and dandy nothin all too specail...cody came and woke me up...its was really nice to feel that again..him being there when i wake up...damn i love him...its so nice to have some one be there for you and care about you as much as he does...so anyways...we went swimming bc it was so fricken hott... and then we got "time out" at the lake...lol so we went kanoeing...ooo damn i'm iliterate...i really enjoy kanoeing (<~sp?) its rather joyfull...then later i just went for a walk with cody and that was nice...i miss him....lol weird...hard to explain...its so weird how we have "grown and prospered" into this relationship...like we are so close...but i think we should spend some time apart bc i dont want anything to happen...but i would miss him so much...

Damn i cant wait till the italian festival....

My dad still seems to annoy me...its like he asks me to do stuff around the house and stuff and i do it but when i ask him somthign or want to do somthing its like i havent done shit all day and dont diserve it...ASS....like he left to go get dinner and took my bros with him and asks me while i'm on the phone if i could do the dishes while he's gone so i was like yeah sure...even though it was my bros dish duty today...i had laundry...which i did...and more...and so the dishes didnt all fit in the dish washer so i had to do some by hand...thinking oo well he will be happy and wont bitch...so i do that and take care of them...so he comes home and stuff and he goes to get on the computer and i was like hey dad...i'm waiting for a phone call...and he started saying shit like "when arnt you" rude comments like that...and i was like...why does that bug you...but he didnt answer and still signed on!!! ASSHOLE!!!...omg...if killing was leagal...ooo boy...i would be in heaven...i'm just kidding...but pretty fricken close...its like he lives to piss me off...and like i cleaned the fricken house the other day...like everything it was like spotless...and i asked my dad if i could go somewhere and he was like...no but your going to anyway...WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN...Fuck him...seriously...ahhh...sure he can run off and hang out with his firends and shit and leave me with HIS kids that i have been watching like all day but i cant go be a teenager...which i must add i only have like 3 years left...so he can just get the hell off my fickin balls!!! AHHHHH!!..one of these days...OOO MY GOD...but i'm sure if i were to say somthing he would attack me...no joke...times like these are when i wish my mom did divorce him...ASS...i do diserve so much better...

alllllllllright...so that about rapes it up...i might write later...donno

~Celeste

*Love is only part of it*

Oo boy...lol ok so where do i begin? alright so yesterday was an awesome day...i went to the fest with cody and we swam in the sunset it was so perfect...bc it was kinda dark out and the water was so warm and we just stood up and looked at the sky holding eachother... awwwwww...i love it...whenever we're together its perfect...lol seriously oooo and then we got to watch the stars together out on the rocks...then he walked me home...what an awesome day!

ok so today...went to the parade with my fam...and then met up with cody and travis...and then me sammy travis and cody all went boating...it was fun..then we all headed to the italian festival till about 5 bc i wanted to leave bc cody was ignoring me...like idk it just bugs me bc its like he doesnt even acknowledge me around his friends...idk...maybe i'm just jealious bc i'm not the center of his attention at the moment..wow..i sound like a bitch...i think i'm gunna go shoot myself...lol i'm kidding! haha i joke i joke...but like idk...i'm an extremly jealious person...expersaily with cody...idk maybe just the thought of losing him...ok so anyways...we met up and we had our rematch on the fun slide bc... cody is a cheater...alright so i would like to take this time to tell everyone how cody is a cheater...ya lil bastered pulled my sac back...haha sac... and like made me come to a complete stop and flew right past me...like the whole time i was ahead i was thinking...omg i'm winning...YES...and haveing all these ideas so i can shove it in his face and he cheats like that...so this makes it offical...cody is a cheater...yea i hope you realize what a horriable thing you did cody...your gunna burn in hell! i still love you baby!

OK lesson of the day: Never cheat on fun slides

thank you everyone for taking time to read my entry...have a great day...annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd....cody is a cheater!

~Celeste

*Cody is a cheater*

*You say it best, when you say nothing at all*

So today was cool...worked up at the moto-x track and travis and cody came up and we all hung out and just talked about everything...fun times...omfg...i got sun burnt...so extremely bad...you have no f-ing idea!...yeah ok i'm over it...so afterwards me and cody went swimming and then to jerlando's which cody locked his key's in the truck...haha then we went to the peir to just sit and i just happened to be wearing a skirt...and is just so happened it became windy...yeah...skirts and wind just dont mix...my skirt blew up and this old lady was laughing at me and i could here her go..."that girls skirt just blew up"...haha...i like grabbed myself and ran...haha yeah so that about ends the day...what a good day it was...i got some sun...got to hang out with cody and travis...annnnnnnnd...i got 48 dollars... alright...so sports are coming soon...guess what...i'm soooo out of shape hahaha...this is gunna be FUN!...i'm starting on a diet and doin some piloties...i think i should be fine...i dont think running is gunna be all that bad bc last year i didnt run all summer and i did fine...i came up first everysingle time...welll i'm done...leave it or dont...the choice is yours

~Celeste

*My Hubby*

I'm so frusterated right now...my dog had a horriable seizer last night and has been acting so wierd... and it sucks bc idk if she's hurting...its not like i can ask her or anything and like...the thought of putting her to sleep comes to mind, but i cant do that... bc everytime i would want to just play with her at random times when i'm home alone i cant...but what to do? i cant see her like this bc it makes me sad...ahhhhh...w/e...i'm gunna go clean and try and get this off my mind...lv it or dont..the choice is yours!

~Celeste

*you scare me!*

Alright so you know how i was talking about my dog and stuff...well it turns out she peed blood... i called my mom and she doesnt know what to do...and like she just keeps barking and trying to go outside but i've let her out so many times...my dad called to check to see if everything was ok and said that when dogs know there gunna die they go and find somewhere to do so and i think she knows that somthing is up... that really sucks i hope that's not it...but i guess we'll find out sooner or later wont we?

OMG...i feel extremly sick...i'm burning up and i feel like i'm gunna puck...and i cant help myself froms falling asleep...blah...i hate being sick mostly bc i cant controll it!...so make me feel better...lv some...

I MISS VANESSA!!!!... she needs to come home...no joke...i cant stand not being able to call her up and me like hey how ya doin...damn shelby....i miss my ness!...Why does she do this to me!...she's not coming home until like the 14! well i hope to hear from her soon...and she better be getting me somthing....i'm kidding..i hope she is having losts of fun!...When she comes back were gunna have to play a game!...o shit we cant!...sports...damn

~Celeste

So today turned out pretty good...i finally got to see cody again around 7 and we headed to jerlando's b4 going to the movies to see The Island.... good movie!!!..i recomend! it was kinda creepy, but good. Well i think i'm gunna head off to bed its late....and i havent been getting good sleep latly...lol i wounder?..lol juuuuuuuust kidding...

My lip is burnt and it hurts!

~Celeste

*Nothin could ever be more perfect than this!*

Today is gunna be an awesome day!!!...idk why but its gunna be bc i'm feeling like its gunna be...YES!...alright everyone have an awesome day and smile, it makes you live longer!well not for sure but you never know...lol so smile and make it a good day do somthing you can look back on and say, heyyy look what i did! alllright i'm done you prolly think i'm phyco or somthing...leave something or not, the choice is yours!

~Celeste

*AHHHH...i miss you!*

* You make me smile!*

So me and cody and sam and travis all went out on the boat today...it was fun just sucks with the fact that i cant really water nothing!....i'm like water retarded...i tryed water skiing but it seemed like everytime i was up they would slow down and then i would just fall backwards and then another problem was that my skis were too big...alright so i'll stop making excuses...lol but i also got to drive the boat...its kinda like driving a lawn mower...well at lest i think...travis kept yelling at me though so i didnt get much time to do it...lol then we came in and when they guys were putting the boat away and stuff we drove off with cody's truck...haha that was fun, until we came back and they werent there!...just so yall know i dont have my drivers license...i'm only 15...haha...but i thought i did pretty good...me and sam had a good ol' time... but like i said it was fun until we came back...they guys like went away and we couldnt find them!...i was so pissed bc i had to be home soon...and then i was rather pissed off for a while...but i'm kinda over...i was just so pissed b4 with everything and then when we got back we were screaming for them and i even asked nicely and like they didnt show up and i was gunna get in so much trouble and i didnt know what to do!...ahhh alright but i was kinda pissed b4 all this bc someone called me a bitch which rather pissed me off bc i think its the worst name you could ever call some one and i take that stuff rather seriouse....so anyways...that was alright and then i went to the movies with cody...we saw Dukes of Hazzard...it was an alright movie...lol not the best but it was funny...well thats all i've got to say...leave some or dont....the choice is yours!

~Celeste

Alrighty, so i forgot to mention i found my way cool ring...and my way cool bracelt...allllllllllllright so thats all thank you come again!...i'mma go tan yall have fun now ya here!?

~Celeste

Alright so i Wrote a poem the other day...idk if its all that good but i like it.what do you think?

"Loveing You"

When i met you things werent like this,

Eternal love and sudden blis.

My views were not samely alined,

Then i had realized love is blind.

Capturing the moments together,

Swimming in the sunset weather.

Every little thing that you do,

Makes me fall more inlove with you.

You took my heart in just a glance,

an unforgetable romance.

It's nice to know you think of me,

Through your eyes this love i can see.

So tell me baby, tell me true,

Do you love me as i love you?

allllrighty thats the end...

~Celeste

askdljfhalksdflasdj....my lunch it taking FOREVER!!!...its one of those uncle sam's or w/e his name is shrimp bowl and i  put it in and got it all ready to find out it takes and hour to make!!...wtf...i'm hungry now...and i'm a very unpateint person!...sdlfjalsjdf;laskjdf......hahah i noticed when i do that they all have like the same letters...asdjfhaksdhfkaslhdf..lol fun fact yall!

alright so tomarrow i think me and my mom are either going shopping or we are gunna walk watkins and hit all the little stores...bc we were talking and we have both lived her for so long but never actually gotten the chance to really look at everything... so thats gunna be fun...i get to be a tourist for the day in my town!...FUN!...haha i really am excited... maybe we will go eat at wildflower cafe or what not bc i've never been there and i live downt the street...hahah so yes i'll inform yall later!

Lv something....tikle my fantasy/fancy

~Celeste

At laaaaaaaaaasssstttt....my love has come home!

Reunited and it feels so goood!

this are small expressions of how i feel that i have finally become aquated with my food!!! YES!...i'm so excited... but i must eat...so long, far well, avitasay, good bye!

~Celeste

TICKLE ME!

oooooooook.... so i have absolutly nothing to do...this really sucks.... i would read but i have a patentail head ech and that just wouldnt help bc i need glasses...and do i have them...nope i dont i lost them!...so yes...i am suppose to have at lest 3 books read by the end of the summer and i only got half of one book...wow this sucks...sooooooooo i think i'm just gunna finish this one and then idk...sparknotes? i feel bad though, but what else can i do? so anyways...i cant wait till volleyball its gunna be the shit...i hope the little freshman dont screw it up for us!... sooooooooooooooooo that was a little mean...annnnnnnnnddd i'm really tierd and hungry...i think i'm gunna get my munch on....yall have fun now ya here?

i must add...is it just me or does anyone else get that feeling when you wake up durning the day sleeping somewhere other than your bed? That feeling being like a tingleing feeling and like lost? oooooooook...maybe thats just me.... but hey...we all have are little retarednesses!

TICKLE ME!!! 

>Please!

~Celeste

*Feel better baby, i love you!!!*

I'm gunna hope on the banwagon and do this thinger....be honest...or i'll kick you!

haha...kidding!

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?

7. Describe me in one word?

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

allllrightly....TICKLE ME!

~Celeste

Alright, soooooo yesterday was really fun!...i walked through all the little shops... and i bought some stuff too... i got like 4 shirts for 12dollars at this one place and they were like wet seal shirts and stuff... pretty damn good! And i got an I <3 NY shirt...i've always wanted one too and another shirt at The Shop...am thinking about going back and getting these vineyard pants there like purple swear pants but they're like 35 dollars soooo idk...but i had a good time... theres alot of interesting things here!...i'm really in the mood for crab!...i've been craving it!..i was thinking about walking down to seneca harbor station and eating there buuuuttt....i think that red lobster would be ooo so much better!...but who to take me?? allllright well thats about it...if any one wants to go to redlobster soon tell me...leave somthing good

~Celeste

*i hate waiting for you!*

AHHHHHH....sports start tomarrow!! I'm sooooo excited! annnnnnnd i'm extremly scared! The coach is a new coach and i'm afriad i might not even make the team!...that would suck so bad too bc its my favorite sport!....allllright i think i'm gunna go watch tv and then go to bed.... leave some good stuff to make me feel more confident, unless your really mean and want me to feel bad....(sad face).....

~Celeste

*BLAH!*

Well thanks guys for leaving all those messages...what great friends you are!

So anyways, volleyball is going good... i'm sorer than yesterday...but i cant wait to get back into shape...lol its gunna be so nice!... Schools coming soon too...which sucks... i'm not ready for it yet. Things with cody are going good i guess...idk...things...were gunna go shopping on thursday and see supercross which is an AWSOME movie...well its suppose to be...we'll see... well i'm gunna get going i'll write later

~Celeste

I got to ride a 400 dirt bike today!...it was sooo awesome...i was sooo scared and cody did a wheelie with me on it...oooo boy...that was fricken scary! i held on so tight went we went through the woods...we were flying!... but so yes then we went inside and watched tv and stuff and his whole family came home and i felt like a fag bc i looked so bad...haha...but i guess Lindsay and His mom went to see Margs sister in rodchester... Pray for liz!...it's got to be so hard on her family...i couldnt even imagin...but they are strong all they need to do is keep there heads up...i'm sry marg...i love ya and if you need anything...i'm just a phone call away!

~Celeste

*Sometimes i just cant belive*

holy fricken shit i'm dieing!....my butt is like super tight so when i walk i like wadle...lol tomarrow we have to do suicides which i'm dreading at this minute....i still havent finished that book haha... maybe i should and tomarrow me and cody are going SHOPPING and going to see Supercross...that is suppose to be a bad ass movie...i cant wait!..weeeeeelll i would have to say i didnt make as much of a faget out of myself today... coach likes me so thats always good. She's cutting 3-5 ppl and there are only 15 trying out so i am rather scared!i did 50 push ups! i was so proud of myself this was in 1 minute....oooook so they were girl push ups but still that good, for me! Courtney came over after and played...lol no we feel asleep haha...i was exhausted! no cody today....kinda sad...but as long as he keeps calling me just to tell me he loves me i'm fine...lol he's at work so...i miss him very much and i love him...OMFG my tan is peeling off!...i'm extremly pissed!...i worked so hard to get this tan and it has to go and peel on me!WTF! whatever i'm over it. I think i might chill with my ness bc i miss her so much! she left me for 10 days! no call no nothing!...i was rather upset....lol but anyways...i think i'm gunna go pick up bc i've been lazy all day so far...give me a tickle

~Celeste

*My little worker!*

NO CUTS!...i was sooo mad! varsity didnt make cuts either!...its so gay, i know i should be like yay, but its just that we cant have 15 ppl(thats for each team 30 all together) for multiple reasons

1. reason one... NOT ENOUGHT UNIFORMS!
2. reason two... SOME PPL SUCK!
3. and reason three..less playing time!

its bullshit!...like i know i'm gunna be playing alot but that just makes me mad...i would HATE to get replaced by a freashman!...we had 12 ppl last year and i barly played bc the sophmores...and now...15??? thats way to many... most of us were upset...but w/e as long as i get to play i'm good...i really dont feel like sitting the bench again this year... like i did all last year bc i was a freshman...i better be playing!well coach likes me so thats mostly a good sign...ooo and another thing about volleyball, ok so we have a new coach and she isnt really sure what to do and she doesnt really care if we run or not bc she doesnt see the point since we dont run while were playing... like i could understand sprints...but running long distants...w/e so my point coach day is just copying what ever westervelt does and it bugs me...like she doesnt care for us running but its westervelt that makes us do all that stuff...i would so rather do sprints bc i need to work on them...i can run but so fricken what!? that doesnt matter...alright so coach is gunna get it so we have diffrent practices than the varsity, that way we can run half a mile in the begining and half in the end....allllright enought complaining...i got to see cody i was really excited...i wrote a poem last night bc i was really sad...i'm debating weither i should put it in or not...i think i might... so stay tuned!

damn i wish i had the motivation to read!!!!

~Celeste

Alllright so right now i'm at my cousins singing "sugar, were going down" by fall out boy... love this song...good song eh?...lol well i'm kinda bored dont have much to do. i would write that poem but i put it in cody's back packet, not sure if he's noticed but my favorite line that i have to tell ya is, "Carelessness leads to trouble as we slowly drift apart", but theres so much more its pretty good... so anyways i'm kinda scared about cody going to the races since there are more than likely really pretty girls there like trophy girls running around in skimpy clothes... but w/e i'm trusting him...havent heard from him in a while idk what its coming to but it just seems like theres never time. Slowly were drifting and i can just feel the wind blowing us apart slowly but surly. i'm not sure if he can feel it but i do. its as if he's pushing away but not noticing what he's doing. and he tells me  "never leave me" but its not me thats drifting its him...i wish i could change it but the ball is in his court now, he has me its just weither or not he wants to be with me. i know he wants to but theres just not show. You say it best when you say nothing at all. your turn, your move. I love you!

~Celeste

*i need you more than anything*

I GOT MY HAIR CUT!!!....it looks SOOOOOOOOOOOO good i love it! i feel pretty...lol well i better  be getting to bed i just wanted to tell you all how pretty i feel and stuff ooo and cody got me a shirt from that pro race he went to in broom tioga...i cryed bc we came back from some where and i havent seen or heard from him all day and i just really havent been able to see him for a while and i'm just a sap...lol he must have stopped by like right b4 i got there and left my shirt by the door and i saw it and just cryed... happy tears of course...i missed him so mch!... well i'm done yall prolly dont care and like i said i should be getting to bed practice tomarrow and i only got 4 hours of sleep last night...haha... goodnight~

~Celeste

*I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU ARE EVERYTHING!*

Ok where do i start? well....yesterday me cody matt and my bros went dirt bike riding...lots of fun only 2 injuries...haha my tail slide out and i feel and scraped my knee... kinda hurt but i'm over it... but omg matt's finger!...descusting...he feel and like his finger got caught in the cluch and tore it almost to the bone...i think it was...but we fixed it up with some wire tape...haha

today was ok... not that great...felt horriably sick and lexy was pissing me off... AHHH... not gunna get into it...lets just say she has to have an input for everthing...yeahhhh...so i actually got to hang out with my man today...i was so happy i miss him so much!...just the two of us talking and stuff cuddleing... love it! annnnnnd tomarrow i must go to the mall for an anniversary present...weelllll thats all fokes!

~Celeste

*No words can be placed in the way i feel*

Damn, i havent written in a while! soooo here we go yesterday me and cody hung out and we went to travis's cottage and we went out on the boat...omg it was really bad out so i didnt tube...lol it was me cody aaron sammy and travis...we asked sam to come but she said that we were crazy so that was a no...lol love you sam! then we all got in the hot tub and that just about put me to sleep...lol aaron was being a dork and putting the bubbles on his face and acting like santa haha so that was good entertainment...lol  Today was me and cody's 3 month anniversary what a good day...didnt turn out that way to being with...omg what a story i tell ya...WELL....cody came and woke me up this morning and got me three donzen roses...annnnd well my dad decided to come home early and we were laying up in my bed....ooo boy and the next thing i hear is..."Celeste!!!" oooo shit was i in for it...so i came down stairs pretending that he just got there and we were exchanging gifts (thats what i'm gunna tell them...we still have to "talk" about it)  and so i come down and my dads on the phone with my mom and i go to say somthing and he goes..."not cool celeste, Not cool"....haha....i kinda laughted at it and then the entire day he's been avoiding me... o well as long as i dont have to deal with it....annnnyways...today still ended good...me and cody made dinner together and ate it here and i made it all pretty with roses and candles champage glasses and matching plates...ooo boy what a site...haha but we ended up just screwin around and acting all stupid (rather unproper eating habbits) then we shared a bowl of ice cream, then played golf...WHICH I WON!! thats fricken right i won to a golfer!...its ok...you can obsorbe it slowly...and then we just sat on the rocks at the end of the peir and sang...lol soo thats the end of my beautiful day!...hope you enjoyed!!

~Celeste

*You sexy thing*

Alright so i'm a fricken retard!....i thought i had a car wash today and it turns out i dont...i went to wal*mart where it was suppose to be and no one was there...then i came home to see maybe it was at 11 instead of 10 and it's from 10-2....on the 4th!...god i'm a dumb ass...lol

went to vinnie's yestereday...that was a good ol' time....we made a big thing of brownies and homemade mac&cheese....mmm mmm mmm....tasty!

~Celeste

*You*

Damn, I  really wish there was some way i could go to the Kayuga Maid....It seems like its gunna be tons of fun. blahh....Have fun guys!!!!! I miss you all!

~Celeste

Good day, Good day...thats all thank you!

~Celeste

im here hanging out with the very beautiful and intelligent vanessa. i am so happy that we are hanging out..shes my best friend, my love, my everything. i love her with all of my heart. thats why im going to buy her what ever she wants. take my word on that!

~ Celeste

Welp today was awesome...got to see my one and only vinnie!...me made mac and cheese again but this time we slacked...oops...o well annnnnnnd then i got to hang out with my adorable cody lakomy!...we hung out for about 2 and half hours annnnd then he left...thats the sad part about my day...but everything else was nice...i wanted to shoot my little brother though!...holy crap...little brothers are so annoying...can i get an amen?!?!  Well anyways tomarrow is our first game...ha...this is gunna be interesting... souther cayuga central school is gunna be us! it just that too much ppl to deal with on the team and having to keep substituting....blah...frusterating...sooooooooooooooooooooooooo i'm still excited...i hope i do alright

sooo i guess my dad said he's going to louisiana (if its spelt wrong then i'm officaly a retard!) for 3 months...helping to pick up from the hurrican....3 months? WHO FRICKEN HO!...omg...its sad only bc now he's being nice to me but then again i dont have to put up with his bull shit for 3 months...sounds bad but you have no idea how much he overexagerates and blows things WAY out of porportain.....its nuts...well speaking of nuts i think i'm gunna head to bed........leave it if you want to, if not i guess thats fine too...

~Celeste

*Oodididy!*

WE won!...hells yes!... our game was awesome.... i started which made me happy! holy shit is sccs far away!....lol but me and lexy made it a fun bus ride...lol good times...some other ppl pissed me off... but i'm not gunna get into it...annnnnnd then today cody left for PA with his dad...i'm kinda sad, but then again...i know how much he is really looking forward to going..so i'm happy for him..he finaly gets to spend time with his dad...omg and today was the best practice...haha us all being girls got our nails done and we had a mary kay party...bc coach works for mary kay...omg it was so much fun....my hands are sooo soft and my nails look all prettys haha...it was out in the hall and out side and like all these guys pasted us and looked at us funny...haha some laughted...haha...it was a good ol' time...well i'm gunna get going i should be doing my 2 book reports and stuff so i dont have to worrie about it the day b4... bc we all know how much of a procrastinater i am...haha... i still dont have any supplies or school clothes...haha hopefully this weekend!

~Celeste

WE won!...hells yes!... our game was awesome.... i started which made me happy! holy shit is sccs far away!....lol but me and lexy made it a fun bus ride...lol good times...some other ppl pissed me off... but i'm not gunna get into it...annnnnnd then today cody left for PA with his dad...i'm kinda sad, but then again...i know how much he is really looking forward to going..so i'm happy for him..he finaly gets to spend time with his dad...omg and today was the best practice...haha us all being girls got our nails done and we had a mary kay party...bc coach works for mary kay...omg it was so much fun....my hands are sooo soft and my nails look all prettys haha...it was out in the hall and out side and like all these guys pasted us and looked at us funny...haha some laughted...haha...it was a good ol' time...well i'm gunna get going i should be doing my 2 book reports and stuff so i dont have to worrie about it the day b4... bc we all know how much of a procrastinater i am...haha... i still dont have any supplies or school clothes...haha hopefully this weekend!

~Celeste

Schedual...kinda messed up but works....

1~Algebra 11-4 (o'kane)

2~advertizing and marketing (malaney)

3~studyhall (a-morris-kuentz,b-zuckerman,c-zuckerman, d-morris-kuentz,e-rogers)

4~Global (fitz)

5~humanities (o'kane, liam)

6~accounting 1 (D.wood) i guess acde

7~ gym (ace 1st semester, ac 2nd), earth science lab (BD)

8~French           i guess abde

9~ earth science      i guess bcde

i think MAYBE they just forgot letters...lets cross our fingers and hope!

~Celeste

I'm fucking pissed off!....i'm like in the WORST mood ever!!! I feel like there is so many things left undone...like i'm missing out on so much with my friends, havent talked to like anyone....and then these book reports which i'm doing now...gay gay gay!....and schools coming and they completely fucked up my schedual again saying i have 2 studyhalls now when yesterday i fixed it and i had advertising and marketing....pisses me off and i have no idea why the hell i have science only on bcde days and french abde days...where the hell else am i suppose to go on the other days??? for real this is bullshit...it cant be that hard...i know theres alot of ppl in our school...but thats what a computer is for...BLAH!...pisses me off bc i dont know what to do or where to go for school...and i dont have ANY school clothes and i have like nothing ready!...just BLAHHHHHH!.....and to make things even more fusterating cody left for PA yesterday isnt coming home till sunday and i cant really talk to him bc he has no service and when he does it gose in and out so i can only hear little parts of what he's saying and that right there makes me want to go shoot somthing!....damn i need a fucking punching bag!

~Celeste

alllllllright i'm in a better mood today....almost have my book report finished just one question that i'm trying to get bc it confuses me....theeeeeeeen i'm done.....plus another book report....but i dont want to think about it now

CODY SURPRISED ME TODAY!...yaya i was so happy!...he wasnt suppose to come home till tomarrow and he came home at around 5 and like i was getting ready to call him and i see him coming toward the door and i just yelled OMG....and jumped on him and gave him a great big hug...and of course kiss....lol well i think i'm gunna go and watch zoey 101 bc i actually like that show...lol leave somthing

>saw transporter 2 and that was AWESOME watch it! 4 thumbs up!

(if ya know what i mean)

~Celeste

FRICKIN HELLS YEAH!... finished the separate piece book report!!... didnt even have to read the whole thing....just most of it!...yes!....now off to finish the last one...can i get a hell yea????????\

~Celeste

Volleyball game tonight @ Odessa....4:30,5..... be there!

School tomarrow!!!....damn...lol

I get to see my firends! I miss them!

~Celeste

Well The lady seneca's kicked some odessa ass.... the first game was kinda close but we won that...and then the secound game idk what happened with odessa but we whiped em' good...i think it was 6-25...haha... then idk about the last one they beat us i guess...wasnt really paying attention...haha...i served pretty good tonight...i really think i'm getting so much better...and when i spike...wholey moley!...its crazy... you guys should come to our next home one! craver came to the one tonight...YAY craver!....well i'm gunna get going to bed...school tomarrow... yuck...yet yeah! i get to see everyone again!...plus i'm kinda of anxious to see how this gay new schedual works... good night!

~Celeste

Blah Blah Blah, I'm a dirty whore!

lol idk its random...just listing random things

please dont cut my balls off...i want to keep them!

~Celeste

Alright so i'm sitting here in Advertising and marketing....were suppose to watching this movie thinger about coca cola....its pretty interesting...i'm kinda pissed right now...idk what to say without making it sound like i want ppl to pitty me...bc i dont want anyone to pitty me at all and i dont want to start anything...i just feel like...idk...lets just say, ppl dont really notice me anymore and i just feel left out. And i feel like some ppl dont tell me shit anymore like they used to...but i guess it just doesnt matter... some ppl are like that...they get caught up in stuff and end up forgeting about other firends and go to the more "in" crowd....but whatever it doesnt matter to me anymore...i'm over it...

~Celeste

Alright, bored...again.... GAME TONIGHT!!! were gunna loose....lol its agaisnt t-burg and they are like the all time best volleyball players!!!...to put it in nice words were gunna get laid the fuck out!...no joke....they're may be little hope for us...but i'm almost positive that were gunna loose...if we win....i will run around the school naked!! take my word for that! well i'm gunna get going....not much else new on my mind...leave somthing

~Celeste

Have you ever tryed to dig your way to china???

I swear i'm not the only one!

~Celeste

Welp i guess i'm the only one that has tryed to dig to china....

Yesterday was fun, i sat and just watched tv till like 5,6 o'clock....and then me and cody went to applebee's and got somthing to eat....on are way home we decided we had to go to the bathroom right after we left applebees lol so we stopped at McDonald's and this guy was like using pick up lines on me and so when we were getting into the car they were looking at us and cody flicked him off and then the dude came outside...omg it was scary...

sooo today i went to go pic grapes with cody and then we just hung out at my house till about 3 30....now i'm bored...maybe i'll do my homework...i really need to go shopping...anyone want to come?

~Celeste

Some told me that i was BLAH today...and you know what that pretty much explains my day...well my past couple days....and somthing else (just comments i remember) some one said something like that i need to get out more... and i really do...but really where? haha i dont know where i would go...i really have nothing to do o well...thats life...its been pretty damn slow for me the past couple days...i'm so stressed and my head feels cloged and i cant think or obsorbe anything anyone tells me...i have the worst headech...my brain is going to explode!... color wars on friday!!! YES!... were gunna do so much better then last year...we have good so this should be interesting...well i'm gunna get going i have 2 essays i have to type... yippy! Happy days!

~Celeste

Feel the burn feel the gold!....its mad shit up in here yo!

~Celeste

vanessa is a sexy beast and i rub her bare bum all night long! juuuuuuuuuuust kidding!...i joke i joke!

Well i think i'm done with this blog...i dont even use it anyways...lol o well w/e last enty!...bye mindsay people....

 WE GOT THE BUCKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Celeste

Ok, i got bored so i thought i would write since i havent in a while:

Well yesterday game against TAE....lost...damn... varsity won so that was good... then cody came and got me and then me travis sammy and cody all went fishing on travis's boat..haha they didnt know what the hell they were doing...haha...sammy killed like half the fish by smaking them on the water repeativly and travis was driving with the fish still on the hooks haha... wow...what idiots...haha..yeah..then went to cody's and chilled...then thats about it

Today...FLOAT MEETING 5 o'clock corey bory's house...yay!...lol i think i'm gunna bring my camara so we have pics for the year book(doing that) welp thats about it...

^One Crazy Lady at our Volley ball games... yes thats right...big ol' sun glasses and a nosie maker haha

Just got back from the meeting...no one showed up!!! YES....I"M YELLING... YOU PPL SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!... alright...i feel better now... but it was still fun we went and got boxes out of the dumpster and me and corey hopped in there and got a whole bunch of boxes...haha...it was fun...we got like noting done...tomarrow i think were gunna have to get together...so ppl!...ATTENTION!!! try to bring stuff for the float! i got black paint and stuff and christmas lights that blink...so if you got anything bring it! sil' vous plait!

Welp, yesterday was a very interesting day... a whole bunch of us went to pizza hut and then to coreys and had a blast....lol then homecoming... it was fun...soooo much rain, i mean DOWN POUR!....but o well i found it fun....haha me sam travis cody and andrea were all in the laundry room sharing stories waiting for our clothes to dry...haha... travis just striped right down... haha idk were you found him sam...lol and then the dance... it was ok... i didnt dance much, i guess since i'm not as good of friends with the ppl i used to dance with so i kinda felt akward dancing with them...but it was still fun....sunnie and steve... aww how cute...haha then after sunnie and andrea slept over my house and we all cuddled in my bed... haha hot nights all i can say...haha jkin...good times girls we shall do that again!...haha waking up was the best part...right andrea? lmao! i'm sry!...lol

~Celeste

Today was alright...started out pretty shitty...got better and is kinda ending shity...

Me and Cody went for a walk bc i was kind of upset and we walked to the peir then went and got coffee and this doughnut thing and just talked....we cleared up somthings and i felt so much better and we were all happy and stuff...but then stuff got kinda shitty...found out some things that kinda made me jealious, just got to get over such stupid things...god....i'm so stupid...lol i think i just need to sit here and laugh at myself...

~Celeste

Today is gunna be just a funtastic day!...lol lets hope....Volleyball practice from 12-2 then dinner from 430-830....welp...leave one

"today's gunna be a better day than ever before!"

"All we have to do is just keep on keepin on"

~Celeste

Today i had realized somthing....we are so very lucky to have free water...i mean...it comes right out of a fountain and somtimes we even waste it...god am i greatful!

~Celeste

Life if is tuff...but its the bad things that make us stronger...We have to learn to never lose hope and to be positive...Liz was an awesome person and we all know that... She could always make us laugh..and she sure as hell lived it up... you can def. say she lived her life to the fullest...i didnt know liz as well as many, but i knew her enough to know this much...she was one crazy person and had so much strenght...i look up to her so much and i know others did too. she was what kept everybody together.... she has now past away but will never leave our hearts...what we are to do now is to look back on all the good times we had with her.... laugh and smile bc we know thats what she would want....

            *She was loved and will forever will be loved...always*

 * i love you margie, and i am always here for you if you need anything*

~Celeste

Game... we won... sweet....

Not a good day, not a good month... blah!

~Celeste

Shine on, you were ment to....

Lately the days have been filled with greif, coldness and rain. But today, today is gunna be a good day...Today i'm gunna lift my head and look at all the good things that are to coming for me.  We all need to just smile.... :)

*Love ya Marg

RIP~ Never will be forgotten

~Celeste

Its so nice to see how positive my friends are...it makes everything so much better...i love you girls!

~Celeste

Havent written in a while....but hey i'm gunna to spread my thoughts today...you know what i think? i think yall should come to my LAST volleyball game home against Waverly....its gunna be fun! Allllllright well thats all i'm thinkin...thank you come again!

~Celeste

*god i miss you girls!

Best idea EVER!....haha god i'm so clever!!

~Celeste

haha woops forgot about this baby...

only bc katie asked i shall update....

Welll let me start out with margies FRICKEN AWESOME PARTY!!!!! annnnnd the after party....haha...good drinks....i mean times....lol JENGA...god soph i knew it was gunna be you...haha...sharing that fing blow up bed with 3 other ppl haha...that was a trip...haha and michelle repeating her self...haha... good party margiggles ;-)

welp that was friday...and now i shall inform yall about today....

well i found out my dad is taking that job for hurrican relife stuff...he gets paid like $1,000 a day...but see the bad thing is he's gunna been gone for months at a time...being at that he's leaving this wednessday to go to FL and were hopin he will be home around christmas...keep your fingers crossed...its gunna be so wierd bc i'm used to him being here all the time and now i'm gunna be stuck with all this responsibility like watching my bros and stuff and cleaning the house bc its gunna be just me and my mom and my bros...well mostly just me and my bros bc my mom works 2 jobs...sooo blah...idk weither to feel happy or sad....like the sad part is my dad's gunna be gone for a LONG time and its not like he's gunna be in the same place all the time so we wont know where he is and stuff and if he's ok...but see now i'm gunna have sooooo much freedom...thats the only good part...haha...god...this sucks though only 3more days left till my dad leaves....i guess its just life....

~Celeste

P.S. i love my boyfriend...haha i pinched his nipples and now thery're black and blue...haha ooops...(inisint face)

Some random poems i write in SH...i hope they make since haha....

I want to fly

Far away from here

Just spread my wings and fly

To a place no where near

And just fly

 So no one can hear

All the tears i'm about to cry.

Lost in a moment

And i forget to breath

Loved in a moment

Until you forget me

All i need is a moment

for you to listen before you leave.

~Celeste

ANOUNCMENT.... THE NIPPLE WILL SURVIVE!!!!

Alright so tryouts were yesterday and i made VARSITY!!!!!!!... omg i am so excited...i just sat there and was like... no way...sam made it too!!! YAY!!... gosh i'm so proud of myself...i thought i was gunna mess it all up hahaha....and after one of the judges came up to me and was like...i dont know your name...but i wanted you to know you were amazing! YAY!!!...lol  i'm so excited for everyone!... you guys all did amazing!... that was such a long wait... 5 hours!...haha YAY!...lol sry i'm excited...i still cant belive it

~Celeste

Good mood!...whoa!... so my dad's still in fl and he passed his class with a 91!!! yay...so proud of him haha...but i think instead of coming back he's going to stay down bc he found a job.. either fl or the Gulf... i told him to send me a post card with an old wringkly man... haha we'll see... haha...but i've been talking to him through email so its all good so far.. haha today i'm having a good day... the funniest thing happend today haha... me and cody were saying our goodbyes after he took me to breakfast and he was looking at me while he walking to his truck and he ran striaght into the truck...lmao i can just see it now..i like droped to the ground laughing almost pissed myself and his face was all red...poor boy...i love him haha... he's so perfect for me i couldnt ask for more... really he gose out of his way to make me happy and he cares about me and he's a great listener...we just act like fagets together and i just have a great time... idk...i cant really act that way around my friends besides vanessa sunnie and andrea bc i'm closer to them so i dont feel like i have to impress them so i can be myself... i really am a funny person i have to admit...i do alot of stupid stuff...just ask vanessa..haha she knows fo sho!...lol and trust me alot of you really dont know the real me i think kiki might know too...lol but yes...i'm a different little person...welp i'm done rambling about how i'm a fag hope you liklyed!

~Celeste

KIKI....DONT CORRECT ME OR I'LL KICK YOU! lol

" Beauty is only skin deep"

Wow, i'm looking back and just thinking of how much we have all change since way back when. Whoa! watch out...and i'm just thinking of what we read for mr. Okane..."The Bet"  that guy and the way he changed and just how much of a miserable person he came to be...like understanding everything and having so much knowlege of the world around him but how miserable? God...it kinda reminds me of some one i know...some one who is ALWAYS negitive no matter how good it can be...i think ppl think too much into things really....just live and have fun... we dont have to know everything...and i REALLY dont want to...there are things you really just dont want to know...ya know? lol like ppl will be like i dont care... and it may come off bad but really we REALLY dont want to have to worrie about that stuff bc when we do we find out all is nothing and just feel lonely...idk if anyone understands this it just really makes sense to me. ok moral of the story...."it's good to not care....however it's not good to not care at all."

~Celeste

Alright....i need to vent...

latley alot has been going on for me...like i have so much on my shoulders...

I am a student in school with an average above 90, i play girlfriend(dont get me wrong thats my favorite but we all know the responsiblilities with that...) and then last but surely not lest i have to act as mommy... that includes cooking and cleaning...yeah def. tough...trying to keep this house under controll and my grades up and still have time for my friends boy friend and cheerleading...i dont think it could get any worse....alright i shouldnt say that...but really i feel so... BLAH... i just want to cry....i miss my dad so much...i never knew it would be this bad good news though...he was offered 30 jobs and as soon as he's done with those he has 150 more... ( he's works for himself....he gose to hurrican disasprs... takes pictures...writes down what happened... kinda like investigates on the house and then he has to build it into his computer...pretty cool) bad news now....i prolly wont see him till christmas...nope not even thanksgiving...its just gunna be me my bros and my mom... i hope it turns out alright... but omg... i'm suppose to be the strong one...i'm trying sooo hard...i guess i just need to vent right now...i swear to god i saw my dad today drive past me...i had to take not only a double look but a TRIPLE look...i never thought i would miss him as much as i do...it just makes me want to cry when reimage the last time i saw him....he woke me up in the middle of the night and told me he loved me and that he was proud to be my father and that he was sorry that he hasnt been there for me he just wanted me to live my own life...it ment so much to me to hear him say thought....and idk what it is but i feel like i've gotten a little closer to him i've been email him and stuff and i just miss him like crazy and its only been like 5 days....and i have to wait another month and 11 days to see him again...kinda sucks...its easier when i try not to think about it...but i cant just forget... idk... i just want to hold on to some one so tight and cry... not say anything and just cry...cry all my tears out so i dont have anymore... i dont want my mom to see me...i want to be strong for her... things are hard for her too... she's never home always working... but i guess i'm gunna have to suck it up...and get over it

~Celeste

Its the way that he makes you feel, its the way that he kisses you, its the way that he makes you fall is lo o o o ve, loooooove....

i have a dirty little secret.... hehe

me and my boyfriend kiss like were old people gums and all!lol

not joking

but hey here's a joker....this french project.... striaght up gayness

welp....find a balloon and pop it.... cya!

~Celeste

Welp the little drester told me to update so here ya go....

Andrea is my hero...she is such a role modle to the world....annnnnnnnnnnnd she is a CaughtOVERACHEIVERandcaugh...lol

well i was waiting for cody after school and some random person called the pay phone...

and i love andrea

and tomarrow i'm chilling with my girls...i cant wait... i havent hung out with them in a LONG time. YAY!.... sweet mon!

well yippity skippity i love my friends and i'm gunna go now....as margie says....prick pop!

~Celeste

Alright so an awesome night out with the girls... lol Hil and sam stayed over last night and boy did we have a grand ol' time... haha then we got breakfast... now... me and hil are finally going to watch the "the ring 2"!....lol

Chiller!....haha soph

Taradacdo....haha hilary...i'm gunna get you!

spooning was great....welp i'm gunna head on out.....prick pop!(miss ya marg)

~Celeste

You dont learn to love....it just happens....

god i watched that movie...awww...it cryed forever

it really makes me relize how deeply inlove i am with cody... ahhhhh....i love loving him... idk if anyone knows how that feels but...omg its the best feeling in the world....he makes me feel like i'm somthing and when i'm with him...it is as if we are in our own world...and i cant see anything but him....awww amazing...

~Celeste

pop it!

alright i switched...if ya want to see my blogs go to myspace....www.myspace.com/toxicbella05

OMG... myspace is updated!?...the wonders of faces... so excited...and this picture just made my day! lmao ok i'm naughty!

Just shack your bootay!

remeber...dont smoke dope or you will go to hell

and always remeber to wait 30 minutes after eating b4 you go swimming

well thank you come again!

OMG I CAN DO THIS..

FORMAL TOMARROW...FRICKEN EXCITED WONT BE HOME TILL NEXT MORNING!(partin all night!)

~Celeste

Ahhhh i'm sick... i wish it would just go away!!....it sucks bc i've been sick all weekend and i have so much to do...the project and the hummanities thinger.... fuck damn shit son!

went to aarons the other day and did a back hand spring... that was so much fun... it makes me happy!...lol welp lots to do... sick home alone... and so much homework to be done... 

~Celeste

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck YA!.... my birthday is in 11 day!... yes i'm so excited... my sweet 16...only comes once and i will be able to drive.... legally...lol i think me and vinnie are still doin somthing together for our party between her birthday and mine ...somthign like jan. 27 or somthing... idk... but yest i hope we can get that to work and that would be fucking awesome!... alright welp i'm gunna go... in wise words of vanessa "peace out girl scout"

XoxCelestexoX

pissed... yes... pissed i am... can not say why... but i am... blah... ppl just piss me off... ya know how that is? like you wanna say somthign but you dont want to make it a big deal....mmhmm... and i'm so upset about my dad... like i thought it would be good for him to come home... but see he's home... but he isnt mentally.. all he dose all day is play on the fing computer and talk on the phone...i cant stand it... and its not like i can say anything or it will just cause problems... w/e i dont care...i have come to notice how much i'm growing up... like its insane... my friends are starting to drive and so am i ....soon... i'll be graduating in about 2 years... i just cant belive it... everything i have now will be gone in 2 years... well mostly the part of me feeling the way i feel... in school... feeling safe bc i've lived here almost my entire life....i'm so scared... i can barely make it here... how am i gunna make it at a new school... see i'm not a outspoken person... i just kinda sit there and say nothing bc i mostly just dont want to cause troubles...sometimes i wish i could be outgoing... but idk...it just doenst always work for me... i guess its just how my day goes to be that way and who i'm with... i just dont really care to impress people i guess thats mostly why i dont speak up... or maybe its not that... maybe i'm just so intimidated by the people around me that i just kinda shut away....i just dont want ppl to hate me... but rather than feeling hated i feel more neglected... but its ironic bc i do it to myself...haha.. ok..i'm sry... if your still reading this... good for you...lol bc i'm just rambling on bc i need to... i have no one to really talk to... to like really just sit down and tell everythign to... thats mostly my problem... why i'm pissed... but i do it to myself...thats all i have to say now... thank you and good bye...

*lol thats kinda cool... i blended.. haha.. like nvm

~Celeste

MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMARROW!!! ARNT YOU EXCITED?? omg yesss...i've been studying my ass off so i dont fail that permint test...if i do i'd be sooo hilmilated... lol sooo no failing... haha... well i'll write when its my birthday so you guys can wish me a happy birthday, because i said so... alright i love yall...

~Celeste

S^o i rea_l^ll_ll^l_ly needed an ^update...well i passed my LP test pewwww! o...with a 100 yes....lol anyways schools ok i guess...idk...i just can wait till summer... YAY... nothin really exciting in going on in my life...mostly because i have like no time for it to... i think i'm gunna try to get a job because i really need money... i've never had a job before so i'm kinda scared...lol i have alot to say and i dont really want to bable...lol but w/e i dont feel like putting negitive stuff in here even though i'm kinda upset about stuff right now... but thats just bc i'm stupid...lol ooooo k well that about wraps it up...  lv some

XoxCelestexoX

My life is so fucked up right now... idk what to do but just put on a happy face and hope for the best. i dont want people to pitty me so dont think this is a pitty thing... i just want to write how i feel. and i believe i have a right since this is MY journal. Idk... it guess things just suck with my dad gone....i feel so bad for my mom bc she's a single parent with 2 jobs and has 3 childeren and herself to support. Mainly... we have nothing... no money for food... we dont have a car...were just barrowing from my uncle for a month...but then what? ha yeah... sucks i know...its sad to look at it... no car, no food, we have to wash a clothes in the bathtub bc our washer dosent work and we dont have money to get it done at the laundry mat now thats sad, no dad... havent seen him since jan.9 and wont see him prolly till spring break...my mom looks so unhappy and i dont know what to do... she is trying so hard... its sad to just watch her...i cant ever think or anything to say... and i feel horriable bc i'm never home... i have cheerleading, school, play practice, cody...just hard...i might be getting a job so i can help my mom out a little bit but i know that she wont take it bc she's like me... she likes to make it on her own... i've been thinking also... would it be easier to just move to florida... i mean we like no family up here...my dad's down there... but its just the fact of leaving my friends and boyfriend and comfort... but i mean we also have to make sacrifices in life...i hate letting go of things that i have... but lately its been easy. i woke up this morning crying bc idk what to do...its seems as thoughi have no control over this all i have control over is my grades and sports and i just try so hard at them... thats mostly why i'm competitive...but see no one see's that no one understands me and thats why i think alot of people dont like me... its not my fault i just grew up that way... to try your hardest to suceed. and once again i dont want this to be a pitty things... please dont leave me anything thats like ooo i'm sry... bc i dont want that... i hate being pittyed... i just want someone to listen and to know....

~Celeste

Yes! i can finally get online!!! i havent been on in forever... welp i hung out with sun shine and andy dirt last night fun times...lol we all know i'm the best at scene it..:-) haha... welp i'm out i have a fricken 3-5 page essay to write! yippy! peace homies or homie as in you are only one person reading unless its 2 reading together then homies... alright peace homie/homies!

~Celeste

Oooook, weekend was pretty good... went out with my girls and had a blast! I missed hanging out with them, we need to do it more offen! for real, i never see you guys because we have totaly different scheduals... but i want to chill with you when you guys are free so just hit up my cellur device!... yes! ok then on ward... Went to aaron's the other night and missed my friends... , i heard it was a blast though... wellll.... yes fun fun frickidy fun! play practice was gay but hil, mich, and connor made it fun...yes fun fun frickidy fuckin' fun I LOVE YOU HILARY!!!!!

~Celeste

Blah.... i feel like straight up shit!... some one inperticular has been making me feel as though everything i do is wrong and acts as though i dont have feelings. i dont know what to do because they say i am always mad at them... well i wouldnt be made if you didnt make me... ah... i want to just cry.... i feel like i just want to give up, but i know i cant because them i'll lose them like i almost did a week ago. Its so hard. idk... i'll have to figure it out some how... lets just hope i can do it right... since i'm always screwing up .....

~Celeste

In florida... haha.. yeah... its nice down here in the warmth...

I've done a ton of stuff and went to Disney "Magical kingdom" and Universal "Islands of Adventure" and they were pretty fun... i saw Kendra's parents there and knew Emily, kendra, sam, and Mckenzie were all down there but i never ran into them... anyways... i went on the Hulk it was fricken amazing... at the begging they shoot you off from a dead stop at like 65 mph (at lest that the speed the lady said) and it was just me and my dad and we got a picture from that haha... good stuff... i miss my codster... ooo and i got this rash on me and i'm not sure what it is....everyone thinks its sun poisoning... its like all these bumps all over my chest and arms...AHHH and my face itches like CRAZY!!! Well i cant wait to get back home and see all my amigos..i hope evryone had a great Spring break!

~Celeste

  Well, Spring Break was fun.... I missed everyone! But i really didnt wanted to go back.... So much shit is going on. Half i cant even say on here. Sometimes i just want to sit and scream so loud and just cry. Latly thats what i have been doing minus the screaming... lol. I've trying so hard to be positive but at the end of the day i just dont know what to do with myself. We got rid of my doggie, and we might be putting amber to sleep which is gunna be really really hard because i love my amberbamberhunniebabygirls!...that's what i call her... lol but she's really sick so its best for her... but i hate how my dad reminds me everyday. And just i hate my Dad.... he's been nothing but a disapointment... he makes me believe that all these good things are gunna happen and then they dont. He's also not much of a father and idk if he's even gunna be with us for long... And to top all this off Cody dumped me. He said he wasnt happy, which really made me feel like shit..and he said the other reason was because he doesnt want to be there for me... which made me feel shitter. And what made me feel the shittiest Was when he wont even talk to me and could care less of how i feel. I want to be with cody really really bad, but i also want him to be happy. Its kinda not far ya know... i mean why does one person get to chose what happens to the other...but i guess thats how it works...I just feel extremly hurt that we have been dating for almost 11 months and now he cant even talk to me. Everything just hurts. And its funny how emotions really effect your body...i feel just so drained from trying to get him to give me a chance and my heart feels like its failing on me... lol so cleche but its true. I've never felt so broken...ever. I love cody so much, probably more than anyone could lover a person.i just wish this was all a dream and i could wake up. I cant even look at his picture without crying... its so pathetic. I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out again. And watching people around school...blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I feel like theres so much to say, but i just cant say it and i just sit there and think of it over and over agian. I want to be loved i want to feel the feeling agian... all i feel now is used and worthless. I want to hug someone and feel that connection and never let go.... i dont know anymore, all i know is that change... is not always a good thing...

~Celeste

I wrote this poem to express how i really feel.. it may not make sense to you but it does to me.....

                "A broken melody"

I just want to throw my hands in the air and surrender
i'm giving into the pain thats been left behind

and i weep in hope that you will understand.

What to do, that i dont know

i want to wake up from this slummber

hoping that you'll be there to save me

But dreams are hopes

and hopes are never there

so wish your good byes

Maybe tomarrow i'll be ok

But it seems as everyday i'm saying it

Over and over again but its just not and it will never be

I just want to hear your voice speak out to me

And hear your crys, your feeling

and watch you there,face to face as time passes on

It's hard to look back from now

and all the things you said before

Its nothin to you now or seems to be as i'm shut behind the door.

but its ok now you've given me strength

and effected my life so greatly

i hope you know what this has given me

I may never know again this love

or feel this feeling ever again

I'm now too afraid to give my heart away

But after all of this pain it's funny

i still want to be your friend and hear all your worries

even if its about your new girlfriend as long as you are happy

*all i want is for you to be happy

~Celeste

Welp, i'm not exactly sure how life is... lol i'm not sure how or what to feel... i'm too afraid to...lol so i guess i'm gunna try and be happy. But it sucks to want somthing you cant have...damn!...lol i want it real bad! O and ben passed out by pricking his finger funniest thing i heard all day...lol alright peace homes!

~Celeste

i fucked up... AHHHHH!

Sometimes i just wish i could rip this feeling inside me out and give it to him so he knows how it feels.....

if you only knew.....

~Celeste

Omg bad day....i tell you...lol ok so it wasnt that bad...my backpack broke... i lost my glove and the games tomarrow so i'm screwed and them my aol isnt working so i'm on my dad's laptop... yeah so other than that everything good... watchin house which i'm inlove with bc its...well i'm not exactly sure...but anyways yes...i'm feeling better too...about all this drama...i'm just gunna brush it off my shoulder...haha... but idk...i'm so excited for the weekends!! i can do whatever i want... can i get a FUCK YA!?

alright i'm out.....

Luv,

Celeste

Awww...my finger hurts so bad...lol...yeah its from shuving it up my ass...lol jkin... the damn softball jamed it...lol.. But anyways, today was a good day i guess... i felt so sick this morning... ... yeah and i guess were putting my dog to sleep soon so i'm kinda sad...i'll have no animals... ....o well thats about all i gots besides i love my friends and i'm so glad i have you guys...yall just crack me up and make my day a whole lot better!

Luv,

Celeste

"You'll never know"

I need to stop dwelling, but its not all that easy...i need to let go...but its harder than you think...i want it to all work out... but these hands dont work miracles...what can i do?

oooo how i'd love to go to california.....lol

Haha...im in such a good mood...lol ..i made an ass out of myself today...lol i had to speak in lunch with a megaphone...lol i was scared standing on that chair...lol i've never been so tall haha... alright peace!

Luv,

Celeste

I'm beginning to understand the mind of a suisidal person......

I think to myself alot...like what is your point of life...and i think about how love is a great deal of your life and i dont think i could ever love again... i'm afriad to get hurt... and i dont think i'll be married  like i feel like no matter the person it be i could not trust them with my heart ever again... and it sucks...it really sucks that just one guy can do this to me...my first love my first real love...some one i trusted with everything who i devoted myself to and when it came to an end...he was not the person i once thought he was...he turned from the sweetest guy in the world the the huggest ass  i know... and i know some pretty big ass holes....this is by far the worst i've been treated and i dont understand it...any of it...how can you love someone that much and then not give a shit whether they live or die. sometime wish i would get hurt like in an accsident or somthing to just get him to relieze that possibly he still cares about me... but then i think... he does he just doesnt give a shit...if i died he wouldnt even come to my funeral...he'd prolly just come and spit on my grave like i'm worthless...and thats actally how i feel...like i'm worthless to him... someone who made me feel like i was the world to him to sit there and spit in my face not given a shit about what i might feel....idk...i just dont get it...how can someone treat another person as badly as he is to me. How could you possibly do it... do you even have a heart? what did i do? how do i deserve this? to cry over this... this thing that shouldnt even exist?... we had a great relationship with amazing moment that i will never EVER forget...moments that i will take to my grave...and its funny... no matter how much you torture me and slowly kill me inside i will always love you and care for you.

you say it best when you say nothing at all......i guess that kinda forshadowed everything...huh?

Luv,
Celeste

P.S. dont think i'm gunna go kill myself...i'm just gettin really deep into this... and to show you how extremely serious i am about this bc there seems to be no other way to explain the pain that has been enflicting me for the past month and a half.......

From now on, i promise myself never again.....

Luv,
Celeste

OMG...i love my friends all so so much!...like seriously you guys are what makes life worth livin!...haha i dont know what i would do without all of you here by my side when i'm sad and need a shoulder to cry on or when i need some one to grind up on at a party!...lol You guys mean so much to me like i dont even know where to begin to explain how happy i am to have you all...each one of you has your indiviual importance and i love you all to the extreme!..lol I want you all to know that i will always be here for you!...if you need anything...i will run to your house in the pouring rain if i have to...even if i just got my hair did!...lol no joke...i love you guys and i hope i can just give back to you what you have all given to me!...i hope i'm a good enough friend... and i dont want to shy away from you guys no more!...alright? Alright...lol But good fing time the other night...shit does happen when you party naked! Sam "were the hottest bitches here." Me "were the only bitches here" lol but i know what your sayin...haha We are...dont hate! its just how we do!

Luv,
Celeste

I'm inlove with the man in my dreams...sometimes i dont even want to wake up so i can be with him...

haha it sounds wierd but its so true...i mean no ones better than to boy of your dreams...am i right??

i dont know his name...but i know i love him..........

Luv,
Celeste

Well idk if anythings getting better or worse and actually i dont really want to know...i wish people could be straight up with me...i'm really not a bad person...lol Idk...i wish people could take the time to get to know me...

Luv,
Celeste

Sooo hector was amazing... when isnt it?lol i love talking about religion! annnnd the fiesta is on tonight! fuck yes...i'm so excited! lol

...Idk who he is but i know i'm inlove with him.....

So the FIESTA was awesome!... gotta love mexicans lol DDR was insane lol it really made my day!...i put a slide show on my Myspace if ya wanna check it out... Click here to View my myspace buuut anyways...i ran in the *LIVE*LIKE*LIVE* 5k run and did ok...lol i wanted to just pass out...they had rather amazing strawberries...haha...buuuuuuuut yeah finals tomarrow i'm i'm kinda nerves...math is gunna be so hard for me... but i cant wait till the summer...i'm just gunna push it till the end then over the summer i'm gunna party my ass off... i'm so excited! YES! lol welp, i'm out hope everyone has a good day!

*LIVE*LIKE*LIZ*....is there any other way? i think not!...we love and miss ya liz...your amazing and we all look up to you! your an insparation to so many people! Forever in our hearts*

uoyevolsyawlalliwi

I dont know what it is, but this love i feel doesnt seem to shake.

Some may say it's true love, some may say its fake.

But if theres one thing i'm for sure of, is what we had was great.

No one can live up to it, no matter who you date.

I've learned my lesson the hard way, yes i learned it all to good.

Please give me a chance to prove to you, i really wish you would.

I know how your just stubborned, but you have to be feelin it to.

It was too strong to just leave it, the way it left you.

It seems so funny to me, and i just dont understand it. You have to be feeling something, some emotion. I felt it when we were together, as though nothing could tear us apart. What happend that i'm not sure of, but i love you is what i know. I'll never stop loving, bc i know what we had was true. We had good times some even perfect. As our song plays i can still invison us like playing in the rain. Theres many things i'll never forget and the main one was how you loved me. I've never been so loved in my life which is prolly my reason i cant let go. I know i messed up near the end, and i've learned that now. You cant try to love someone too much or you just end up pushing them away. But with you i wanted to love to the fullest and i did everyday. Somthing i wish i could take back like fights that didnt matter. What really mattered to me was you and us together. I remember crying to you happy bc i loved you that much. Its so great to be in somthing that great and i wish more people could experience that. Maybe it wasnt ment to be, but we dont know that if we dont try. (i wish we could) i will ALWAYS love you wether you love me back or not. i hope someday you could love someone as much as i loved you. I admit i still think of you every night b4 i go to bed and how you told me you would say goodnight to me. Theres so much to remember and i wish i could write it all down. I just wanted you to know that i love you and will never stop. You were my one and only my everything and will always be, always and forever. I wish you could give me one more chance....to at lest be your friend or to explain to you how i feel....if that matters at all. The guy i know that you are cared about me like i was his "everything" his "lover" and i wish that guy could really be his caring self and not hurt me anymore. If you truly cared about me. If i ever ment anything to you, you would give me a chance. 

uoyevolsyawlalliwi

Luv,
Celeste

Alright so i'm over this shit...i'm better than that....let him go fuck himself...his loss...sooooo anyways...things have been ok...regents are goin on...math b tomarrow and i'm really scared bc i suck at math!!!!...i hope i have enough time to finish it...lol Global sucks ass...lol my first essay was completly bull shit i would give myself a 1 out of 10...lol yeah...maybe even a negitive...the secound was pretty good...maybe a 8 out of ten...yeah lol welp...i'm gunna go...wish me luck!!!

luv,
Celeste

ooo wow... sooo Friday chilled with sunnie and andrea for the day...they are the shit haha! annnnd then up to Jays which was fun... DDR stole my heart once again...lol me and shutts idk what to call it...wrestled over a hat...haha i like clung to his leg bc i couldnt do anything else since i'm a miget...haha...annnnd then i went to some party with Willis and Marg...haha fun shit...then to aarons for the night....thhhhheeeeennnnn went to glen mountain market for breakfast annnd then the boat regatta...haha willis got sooo fuckin burnt...lol then we went with ups on his boat and tut man (his uncle) found a new nick name for me...stubby bc my fingers are tiny...lol So we just chilled there till like 7 haha there soo fuckin funny me and willis died laughing the entire time...haha we got into a hug water fight haha...when we got back i was soooo fuckin tierd lol i fell asleep sitting at the table haha...it was a blast...haha welp thats about it...i'm sure theres a hell alot more comin up soon...

luv,
Celeste

OMG... awesome night with the ladies!...haha i was soo gone.. haha i loved it... but  i'm payin for it now...o well def. worth it...haha...Me and Willis played in the rain!!! i love the rain!... but i love my ladies more... i dont know what i would do without you girls! your so awesome... thank you so much for being there for me... if it wasnt for my girls i dont think i would be able to have gotten through everything.... LOVE YOU ALL!

luv,
Celeste

Why does everyone have to pick on me because i can't spell good? I hate it. Its not my fault i can't spell. I know people are trying to help me but they make me feel dumb and laugh at me....its really not my fault. It's just a problem i have... so please... leave it alone.... thanks

*Celeste

ooo my! I love parties! haha... i love my firends more...of course! So i finally saw my willis the other day!...i missed her a ton! I saw margret mary and eboner too which was rather thrilling! They're the shit..sooo yeah we all partied together it was good stuff.. some random black guys came to the party and were totaly hitting on me and ebony...hahaha they were like asking us to take pictures with them and stuff... hahaha it was so funny and some guy named jaxson was like all over me...haha...it was so funny then i made Ben save me...lol Then a guy names jay came over and was like... omg i know you from myspace... then started yellin i know her from myspace... she's my friend hahaha... it was awesome! I talked to alot of people i dont normally talk to which is my favorite part. lol... i love meeting new people... or just making friends with people i already know...haha Well i think i'm out... i feel like goin for a walk or somthing... then prolly off to tan at the lake... i'll get back at this later! PEACE! haha!

Luv,
Celeste

I wish that i could find a guy that repects women...its seems to be really hard to find here in watkins...i mean...im sure there are a few... but i mean what about looks? lol Idk..i guess you cant have both of them...haha i dont even know why i care bc i'm so done with guys...i give up!!! YES I DO!...they just seem to make my life harder... i mean i would love to have someone that i could love and have love me back but idk if its even worth it anymore...its not like its gunna last anyways...so why bother? I got let down before it can happen again...and i'm sure it will... FUCK...oo yeah i forgot i dont care lol oops..my bad but yeah...i just want to be with someone... but i dont...its so hard to explain..its just the question of...is it worth it? like the broken heart? But i guess life is all about takin chances am i right? and thats how you find your one true love... but i feel like my one true love is not out there he's non-existant...haha welp thats all thats really on my mind... just boys...annnnnd how i'm so over them...if they want me then they will come to me! haha ooo well who cares if they do or dont...who needs them?

Luv,
Celeste

Ok well do i have a whole lot to talk about! haha ooook well ...lets start off with how i have become to notice how short and tiny i really am...lol its kinda sad actually... haha ooo well... i've come to except that...lol oook well now is where shit gets interesting.....

Ok... soooo erica's grad party:

Def. an awesome time... haha i finally got to chill with Alex like i've been hoping haha...He is really nice...and sweet and so much fun to hang out with...annnnnd def. a bed hog! haha nooo i didnt do that... haha a whole bunch of us slept together in my huge ass tent...it was like a three bedroom tent... but yeah...haha i enjoyed chillin' with him and making him smile...haha...it's like a breath of freash air....but idk...i'm kinda afriad to let myself like him just bc i dont feel like getting hurt... idk... i dont even know if he likes me... lol buuutt whatever...lol def. not getting my hopes up! buuuut yeah... so that was fun... def. wont forget seth and his pink sweatshirt....lol that made my day!

Next day... me ebony willis and "j-lick" got some breakfast at Toe bee's and then me and willis chilled... kinda a slow day...i talked to Alex thought haha he called me at like 1 in the morning which made me happy even thought he woke me up bc he was at a party and thought of me! haha YAY! again... not getting my hopes up lol...he said he wanted to hang out sometime and stuff and i told him i'd call him the next day...haha buuuut then i called and told him to call me if he wanted to chill and he hasnt called me back...its been about 2 days...lol this is why i dont get my hopes up...lol but i dont care whatever... maybe he'll call me this weekend..lol annnnyways... i'm kinda afriad that when he went up to cody's that the guys prolly talked shit about me and got into his head or somthing and thats why he never called me back.... idk... maybe thats just me being paranoid...lol i always am...lol but yeah...i'm not calling him back sooo yeah...he has to call me if he really wants to chill... annnyways... enough about that...boys are overrated...lol

Next day...

Me and willis walked all fricken day...like mad walkage! from my house to the peir, to the statepark back to my house down to the hotel then down to the lake again....then back to the hotel...lol buuut it was a good work out...i saw a guy that i know...his name is Alex...haha not the same guy as i was talkin about b4 haha some other one who dirtbikes...haha he was riding his bike down the hill and then me and willis ran into Philip goin up the hill too...i was excited i haven't seen that little shit head in forever! haha... but yeah...then we hot tubed annnnnd then this is where the fun began! hahahaha

Ups came and got me ebony and willis and we went to Wal*Mart...hahaha that was a fun ass trip...lol we went in and it was like 1 in the morning so there was like no one there annnnd we played with the display camera's and took pictures and stuff haha that was so much fun... look for us! haha annnnd then we went around lookin for some good cd's and listened to them in the music section haha thennnn we found some bean bag chairs and sat in them and talked haha...it was fun hahaha...then we all went to get some cappacino and chilled at the peir till like 2 haha then snuck back into the hotel...haha FUN!

Today: Well i had to wake up early and take my bro to the docotors and then went to the parmacy to pick up his medicine so i kinda played mommy for today...which was pretty fun...lol i'll have to admit..annnd then ups came over and we chitter chatted and got some food then chitter chatted some more...omg our fortune cookies were soo crazy...like mine said "Everything will now come your way"...sooo like i guess that means that i need to stop trying and let things come to me...this is ironic bc Ups was telling me to do that b4 i even got it...haha and then his was like...ok word for word..."thereis a true and sincere friendship between you both" how crazy is that? how the hell did it know that we were together..haha bc were like best friends  and like we were just talking about how no one understands like how we stand with eachother...sooo it was kinda crazy...haha yeah well thats about it...ooo and i drove today all the way to corning and back...i did really good! kudos to me!

haha

well thats about it...i'll write more later!

Luv,
Celeste

Soooo Alex called me today! haha i was so excited... dont get me wrong i still am... haha annnnd he invited me to the movies to see superman... haha i already saw it but i thought why not again...it wasnt that bad of a movie...but yeah so he payed for me and stuff... i tryed to make it so he wouldnt... buuut he buged infront of me... haha sooo yeah ... he was awesome we like talked the entire time and surprisingly we didnt get kicked out or yelled at...hahaha but i had so much fun... we were like crackin jokes about superman and everything haha... some interesting conversations let me tell ya...haha then he walked me home and we talked for about 20 mins. and then we said our "good byes" haha yeah yeah... i'm sure you know what that means...haha we kissed...its not exactly the first time but ya know... haha i must admit he is like one of the best kissers...no ya know what...he is the best kisser... like idk it was just perfect...YAY! haha i'm so excited... sooo yeah he said he would call me tomorrow if his battery lasts that long... but def. call me on friday to see whats up...haha...ooo and i guess he lost my number thats why he hasnt called me... but he finally got it from cullen so yay! haha buuuuuuuuuuut anyways...yes it was def. the best date ever.... such a good fresh breath of air that i have needed...he's such a great guy and i really hope to get to know him alot more....i'm sure its gunna be a bit b4 we actually have a relationship though.... just so i know that i wont get hurt... my for safety at lest ya know? haha well yes... i'm so excited and i cant sleep annnnd i just want to tell everyone!

omg crazy story....soooo i opened a fortune cookie and it said "Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues." annnnnd when i got home i went to eat another one bc they were just sitting there on the counter annnnd so i opened it up and guess what it said...the same exact thing....now tell me how ironic is that? i was like whoa....i guess this is my fortune! haha... now i just have to understand what it means... i think it means somthing like guys trip over their tongues and cant talk or whatever....idk...i guess i have that effect on some people haha idk... well ima go... leave some interesting comments on what you think.....

luv,
Celeste

Sooooo i called Alex intentualy to leave him a funny voice mail....annnnd he picked up...lol i was rather upset....haha sooo i hung up and he called me back to see who it was.....lol soooo i ended up talkin to him for a bit and then we ended up hangin out.... me willis alex and seth went mini golfing up near the winner's circle...haha we didnt really even play we just kinda fucked around... me and alex sucked asss... annnd alex lost his ball..(wouldnt be the first time) lol jkin but then he used seth's annnd then we got bored and iso we wiped it around the barrel thinger...haha i lost my ball too i hit it and it like flew threw the fence and it went all the way on the other side...haha good thing it was only us four...haha... we would have been knockin people the fuck out...haha... but yeah... annnnd i hurt my finger...yeah it was that intense...haha well jkin seth desided ooooo lets put some random rock thinger infront to make it more difficult....well so i went to put it back...and i dropped that shit on my finger... lol and like instently it bruised and it hurts like hell now...buuuuut alex kissed it for me and made it all better...haha yeah so it was a good night... i ended up stealing alex's hat...which i'm wear right now...and i'm rather impressed bc it doesnt smell so thats always a plus...kudos to alex....lol he's so awesome...yaya i'm so happy for myself... i'm finally happy! (insert excited face here) haha... welp...thats all i got for now... stay tuned for more!

:) "my superman" haha

luv,
Celeste

Alright so i've been pretty busy for the past few days... alots been goin on! i got my five hour and schedualed my road test for the day b4 school annnnnnnd I got a job which is really fun and the people are really nice...So i've been busy with that stuff and partying...this has been my schedual... Wake up around 12, eat shower Chill with Alex, Work annnnd party... lol well not party every night but ya know... lol i've chilled with sosa alot and i finally got to see Willis and we chilled...i was so happy! ooo and we went to see Cullen where he ended up terrorizing me by shootin staples at me ...lol and i made him a sticker that said i'm naughty! lol good stuff... but yeah i havent been up to too much latly i miss my friends like whoa! Volleyball starts up on the 14th which i'm overly excited about! It is the best sport ever!...i mean we wear spandex and play with balls what more to love? lmao alright so i'm out...my toes are freeeeezin!

Luv,
Celeste

OK so alot of things have changed and alot of new exciting things have begun. I feel like i have gotten so much out of this summer. Like i have learned so much about myself and i think i'm still learning... I'm hoping that soon i will find myself and will be able to love myself ya know? But i mean just everything feels like it has been one big lesson and i'm so glad i had a certain some one to help me along the way and to guide me in the right path. But its wierd like all summer i have not cryed... and now i feel so emotional and stroung all at the same time...its such a weird feeling...I'm just so sure of myself idk its wierd And like i feel like i have changed so dramatically like i have come to appresiate things and i'm more out going and i speak out for myself now.I'm actually really proud of myself.  I'm kinda excited to start school and see how everything goes i really miss my friends like so much and thats what makes me want to cry. I feel like i need them so much. Idk.. but i feel like i'm becoming whole again and so much stronger. Its seriously so crazy idk. I wanna talk to someone about this lol wow.. alright well i'm out any want to do anything just get at me! Love you all... exspecailly my hottest bitches!

Luv,
Celeste

Ahhh things are goin pretty good for me... like good things.. well Lets start with i got a new puppy his name is Wesly... he's the cutes dog ever and i guess he's gunna be a pimp bc were gunna sell his sperm (let him have sex for money) bc he's a full blood haha Daaaaaaaaaaammn right....he's got pimp juice!! annnyways... i'm getting a new phone and its gunna be verizon with unlimited text messaging... FUCK YA... annnnd me and alex are perfect... nothin bad at all... annnd i texted mr. cody today asking him if we could sit down and talk and put everything to rest....he said "It is" and that he doesnt hate me anymore so things are at its best with that...lol but yeah so i'm happy annnd i take my drivers test on the day before school... corey is teachin me how to parallel park haha... he's actually a really good teacher i'll tell ya that... a hell alot better than my mom hahaha well thats about all... i'm so excited for school minus the fact that i still have to read those two books and write that essay... lol i'm so bad at this stuff...lol annnnd i have to go shopping...i have like 11 pairs of pants... and only like 7 shirt and two sweaters sooo thats not gunna work... plus i still need shoes... welp i'm out... leave some love...annd get at me if ya want to do anything b4 school starts... i would love to hear from my hottest bitches!

Luv,

Celeste

Alright so the other day me and alex watched "silent hill" good movie.... and then we feel asleep for a few hours and i woke up to my brother telling me "celeste mom wants you she said she is having pain in her stomach and is pregnate" so i'm like ook..ya know he's full of shit... so i just brushed it off and tryed to go back to sleep and then i hear my mom yell " Celeste i'm going to the hospital" so i booked it downstairs and i was gunna drive my mom to the hospital but she wouldnt let me so i just ended up staying here with the boys and i'm like flipping out bc my mom has had this before like she almost died from and egg getting caught in her tube like it was gunna burst... so i'm like omg i hope its nothing... ya know... i guess it was a pain in her ovaries and there like extreme cramps... and that just scares me...like i dont want to get worked up over it or anything...bc i'm sure everything is gunna be fine. But anyways she went to the doctors yesterday to get either an altra sound or somthing idk and we wont know if everything is ok or not till a little bit... which i think is dumb bc i mean they already know what it is ya know? Like they have it right there...way make people wait and if there is somthing wrong take the risk of giving whatever it is more time to hurt you? i mean i thought doctors are suppose to be smart... dumb ass doctors! buuut anyways...she seems ok now soooo thata always good... well thats really all thats goin on... i'll write and update prolly way later...lol

Luv,
Celeste